www.incontinentsupport.org

Is there anyone here that has seen a therapist to help with coping with incontinence? Also how many here have been part of a live support group?
Reason I ask is I am part of a very new support group (Thursday will be our 2nd meeting) and I am wondering how helpful it will become. Also I just began seeing an actual therapist for counseling. I have had a lot of emotional ups and downs but here lately it seems like more downs then ups. For me about two weeks ago it was at its worse and the thought had crossed my mind to really hurt myself. Now don't get all freaked out and worried, I am not going to go through with something that stupid but it did shake me up pretty bad. I just would like to know how many out there got to such a low that they needed help.

Rope, I'm sorry that you're having a very difficult time with all of it. Last year, when I got overwhelmed by the day-to-day inconvenience and frustrations, I decided on seeing a mental health professional. My thought was that only someone who is incontinent could understand my perspective. I didn't care about the therapist's gender, but I was too embarrassed to screen potential providers as to incontinence. Then I decided to take a physical approach and revisit the idea of counseling if I didn't see improvement in a month's time.

I'm happy that you are seeing a therapist and not trying to go it alone. You are a very functional and productive person, and I would like very much for you to once again enjoy everything good that life has to offer.

Best always -
Wetters

It's when you hit the low points that a group that you are considering attending might make the difference. Give it a try I hope it helps. As I am writing this on my I Pad it's nine in the morning here in England you will all be asleep. I have had a bad start to the day having a fall while trying to get out of bed. I am now on the bed and my wife is having to move my legs around every so often to keep the pain in my legs and feet under control. We have managed to get my night time diaper off and a new one on which was a struggle. Just writing this to you guys is helping and being a new member on this site and sharing stuff is a help so a group that you are going to go to should be a big help. Go for it and thanks for sharing.

I have been dealing with incontinence for over 24 years now.

In the beginning, i was, to say the least, devastated. I never sought professional support in the beginning, but had a HUGE melt down about 8 years ago.

My marriage was ending, my incontinence was getting worse and I could not imagine living life this way any longer. It was through a last ditch effort to try and save our marriage, we began to see a therapist. Although we were unable to save our marriage, the therapist did help ME with dealing with my "Lows" that come with this condition.

I learned that when things I took for granted, like marriage for instance (till death do we part), began to fail, I would place the blame on my condition. Maybe not in whole, but in part.

This condition we share here effects each and every one of us differently on a daily basis. How we deal with the emotional roller coaster is just as different for each of us.

I continued to seek the advise of my therapist for about six months during which time I learned, or gained a better understanding, of just that. To this day, I still experience "Lows" when dealing with my life sentence of incontinence. But today, after gaining the advice and guidance from my therapist years ago, I know things will get better, and if not better, they will be manageable. After all, WE are in control of our own lives and happiness.

I wish you the best when dealing with your "Lows". Seek the advise from anyone whom offers it and apply that advise only if you believe it.

Tomorrow will be better, and if not better, manageable.

Best Wishes....
Dave

I work as a therapist in community mental health. I've only been dealing with my incontinence at its current intensity for about two months at this point. I have found it incredibly helpful to talk to my therapist about it. Becoming incontinent feels overwhelming. I worry about what people will think. Even though I know my coworkers would be understanding about. I feel worn out by the different Meds I am on and the ones they are talking about putting me on. I worry that I may not improve. Or that I will improve some but not enough to get out of diapers. I also constantly worry about if it will get worse. Dealing with incontinence is intense. I've been feeling depressed, angry, anxious about leaving the house, but mostly deeply ashamed and embarrassed. My wife is a great support. I still find it hard to talk to her about everything that I go through. I've talked to my therapist about it on two occasions and it has given me an intense sense of relief. It has really given me the strength to keep on pushing through this. I would definitely recommend that you talk to a therapist while dealing with this. It can only help.

Coping with incontinence at first was challenging to say the least. Doctors, tests, money and little results was tough all the while trying to figure out how to stay dry. Searching the web for anything that would offer advice or hope only to find the highlight was that many, many others had the same problem. Then after that I began to accept what was to be & that's when I just sought out the best way to stay as dry as I could with the best combination of products that worked for me. That's where I'm at now. I don't feel sorry for myself. I live a decent life and make managing the problem just a routine thing that I need to do a couple of times per day. It's now become easy and I really don't think much of it. I think that most people with any kind of disability probably go through the same thing to some degree. Those that need to talk to a professional about it should if that is what helps but in the end they can only help you understand that it's something that needs to be managed. It's one of those "get over it" things that you need to come to realize. Do whatever you need to reach that point. Once there you will find that you are able to live life just as well as you ever are able.
I'm a small business owner & my wheels are always spinning. Lately I've pondered about reaching out to someone to devise a product that works well and because the products we use are of a medical nature that seems to always jack the price up. Managing incontinence is costly using absorbent products. I feel a great product can be created at 1/2 the retail pricing currently charged by others. I feel also that it would be profitable enough for the company to sustain itself.... boy did I get off topic here!! Sorry!!

I fully applaud and I fully support your getting all of the help (counselling .. support groups .. etc) you feel that you may need! NO ifs .. NO ands .. NO buts! I personally have never sought counselling in this area (incontinence) of my life. That being said .. I HAVE INDEED sought counselling in other areas of my life and it has always been positive and of value to me. In my personal opinion the BOTTOM LINE IS THIS : Do whatever you have to do to GENUINELY AND HONESTLY accept yourself as you are and how you are. IF you can come to this truth you will have no qualms and no fears about your incontinence. So 'self-armed' you can go through airport security checks and you-name-it other challenges and come-out whole. Like several of the above commenters .. I too have an extremely supportive wife-life-partner. When we met I got-right-to-the-point about my incontinence challenge.

Best of wishes and Best of Luck to you.

I absolutely love this topic!

I am a licensed Psychologist and I am also dealing with incontinence. So given my profession, I am clearly biased towards recommending counseling because I strongly believe it can be beneficial for anyone at any time no matter what this issue(s) may be. A good counselor or therapist has been trained to respond openly and non-judgmentally to any and all issues that they may encounter. They are there to listen to you and support you, to help you build your confidence and/or self-esteem when they may be lacking and to help you find your own preferred ways of dealing with life's challenges. I can promise you, after nearly 20 years of seeing clients, I think I may have heard just about everything and very little throws me for a loop anymore. And yes, I've had a few people come to me with incontinence issues and I can see the pain and terror on their faces when they shared their personal experiences with me. Now, given my own condition, I do self-disclose my incontinence struggles with clients when they have shared their incontinence problem with me. Without fail, the look of relief (i.e. "Oh thank God. This guy gets it.") has been quite obvious. I have on rare occasion shared my incontinence with other clients who present with other disabilities or challenges they have found extremely embarrassing or shameful as a means of making a connection when it was clear they were having difficulty letting go of the shame aspect.

I think if I were shopping for a new counselor/therapist, I would start by talking with trusted friends to see if they can suggest a counselor/therapist in their community that comes highly recommended or if they have ever worked with anyone personally that they had a positive experience with. When you're screening potential counselors/therapists, you might ask if they have any experience working with medical disabilities or conditions that are sensitive in nature. My guess is that most counselors will answer "yes" to that question because I think we all view ourselves as being sensitive to any issue and all issues but at least that would give them a heads-up what you may be coming in for. I once saw a counselor who disclosed her MS diagnosis and subsequent incontinence with me after I shared what my concerns were. This helped put me at ease quickly. We even had a discussion about preferred diapers if you can believe it.

If any of you have questions or concerns about seeing a counselor/therapist, please feel free to "friend" me or contact me and I'd be happy to offer any insights I can. I know I still struggle with dealing with my incontinence and it helps me to talk to people about it.

CJ

Thanks for the invite to chat to the members here CJinNM, I am sure you will be taken up on that offer in the months ahead by some that need "an ear", and better yet, one that can relate! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Thanks everyone for your support and encouragement. I found a therapist by searching for local ones and then looking or for ones with experience with chronic medical conditions. I found two or three but then found one of them had experience in the medical field working in a family doctors practice for several years.
So far the things are going good and its nice to unload on someone that at least has a clue about how the medical side is stressful. She has even made a few suggestions for different treatments and ways to conceal if I have an accident, even if it is nothing I have not tried or thought of. It is nice to still be on the same page.
Some things are starting to come into focus even though I don't have a clue how to fix these things, at least I can see what needs to be worked on.

I will keep you guys posted on things as they improve. Thanks for all the well wishes.

Rope