www.incontinentsupport.org

Ok. So a situation has come up that is forcing my hand in a way. I normally wear very discretely under my clothes and no one really knows that I have to wear diapers. It really doesn't disturb my life too much. And my close family knows that I have to wear diapers and they are ok with it. However, we just made plans with some close friends to go away for a weekend in April to Great Wolf Lodge and share a room as two families. What that means is, I am going to have to deal with diaper changes with friends that currently don't know that I wear diapers. I am a little apprehensive about telling them but I don't think I am going to be able to hide it either.

So, my question to everyone is this. How would you go about approaching this situation and confiding in your friends about this? Also, what strategies would you employ to ensure discretion around 3 kids?

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"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal

Having been in that same situation my wife and I sat down with our friends and explained that I have a medical issue that has made my ability to control my bladder difficult and I must wear some protection in the form of diaper. I explained that I keep this private but you might see me dispose of used diapers sometimes. They were understanding and said it's not a problem for them. I found that being open, honest and up front with people is the best way to handle any situation. After all its something you can't control no more than a person who needs glasses or a wheelchair. Don't worry about it and have a wonderful time.

Well, here is an update. I did tell my friends about having to wear diapers before we went away. We went away last weekend and had a blast. There was no problems with being in the same room with another couple and three kids. I kept everything discrete as possible. There was a big enough trash can in the room to accommodate the used diapers and of course that was emptied each day. Thanks to DJ for the encouragement.

_________________
"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal

misshendo,

I am glad things worked out. I ment to reply to your post but it must have sliped my mind. It warms my heart that your friends were receptive. I have only done one outing that was not alone or just my family and it was with a coworker. he was very receptive and supportive. it turned out to be a good thing I did tell him first. there was one night where he stayed out late and i went on to the room. I fell asleep in bed with the lamp still on and when he got in, I had kicked the blanket mostly off. My diaper was very much exposed. He brushed it off like it was no big deal and it has not changed our relationship at all. Goes to show being accepted is way worse in our own mind.
I am glad you went and also had a good time.

Rope

Thanks Rope. This couple was the first people outside of my wife that I was having these problems and needing to wear diapers. When I broached the subject about telling them with my wife she stated that we consider them such close friends and almost family so she didn't feel it would be an issue. We have other friends that are also just as close but we have not told them because it never came up. We have also never told my or her parents about it yet. Just never came up. So, being that this couple was the first people I told, you can guess my apprehension.

Although, I will say that after going through that, the apprehension seems to be all built up in my mind. Now, I just don't seem to care what others say or think. If they know, they know. If they suspect, fine. If they judge, that is on them. It really doesn't matter. I'm doing what I need to do to get on with my life and live! I think we make such a big deal over this in our own minds that we put the stigma on ourselves more than other people do. It is nice to have made that mental breakthrough.

_________________
"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal

Msshendo,

I'm so glad you had a positive experience with opening up to your friends. It sounds like you've developed a good, healthy, positive attitude that this just doesn't matter as much to other people as we think it might. And if for some reason it does.... well, then so what?! I've shared here that this has been my goal for the last few months as well in terms of letting people I'm close to know about my situation. While I'm not broadcasting it to the world, I've really noticed that the people I care about are all handling the news well and the result is always that I wind up feeling even closer to them than I did before. I really commend you for step you've taken and maybe this positive outcome will lead to others down the line as opportunities to share present themselves. I'm happy for you.

CJ

Thanks CJ. I know that I probably built up the anxiety more in my mind than was worth the effort. But don't we as humans do that anyway with most things? It is nice to know that one's close friends can just accept things and move on as friends. It makes me believe that my family should and would be that much more accepting.

_________________
"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal