www.incontinentsupport.org

I struggled with wet beds and embarrassing accidents for several years before I decided to seriously deal with my incontinence issue professionally.
At first I really didn't know how I was possibly going to deal with being in a nappy all the time, I mean I'm 30 years old. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed of myself...
In saying that, I've learned a lot about myself because of this. I've had my bad days but learning to overcome those days, and just move on has been great development for me.
Recently, maybe the last months I've been back to only having accidents throughout the nights, and have remained dry through the day, I've been pretty much perfect.
In this time, I met a girl I really like and last night I finally took her out. She doesn't know about my problem, so I thought I'd be able to go out for a dinner date, without any protection on since I been doing so well.
Boy did I make a complete fool of myself. I did all the right things, I made sure I sat close to the bathroom, I went to the toilet as soon as I got there, but this still wasn't enough. Half way through dinner I started to get the urge to pee, before I could even get out of my seat properly I absolutely flooded myself, soaked pants, stuck standing in a pool of my own pee, once again! ...It's just soo embarrassing!
I just wish it wasn't so hard all the time! It seems to be one knock after another for me. It was hard enough coming to terms with having to grow up with a micro penis, then It was issues with crohn's disease, but then to add to it all, having to deal with incontinence. Sometimes its just to much. I don't know how to get through the days sometimes, let alone how I'm ever going to start a relationship...

Phil, I certainly have empathy for you and your problems. I have some great stretches too, as long as I do what you did, follow all the rules to have the best possible outcome when I am hit with the urge... but there are those times when this very thing happens, and you feel exactly the way you do... nothing wrong with those feelings, this is a problem that is never easy to deal with. I have a limit of trust, no matter how well I may have been in the past day or 20, if I want to make sure nothing is going to cause a scene, I wear what I have to and get on with it. If I don't need it, at least it was there for the possibility of not making it in time. I am mid 40's now, and still single, not really looking for anything now either, this is a problem I have a hard enough time with, let alone with a lady, I can't imagine it! To find someone that will take you for what you are, short-comings and all is a rare event, but it happens, just not to me, or yourself so far it sounds like. Hang in there, and do what you need to and avoid another situatiuon like what occurred, better safe then sorry I like to think... Diapered at 30 or 40 is uncommon, but when faced with it, it is the best way to cope, and hard to fathom for anyone with a "normal" output system, Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Hi Phil,
I agree fully with Puffy; as he is speaking from solid experience!

When incon strikes us, there is much denial involved. We don't want to believe we "really" have a problem and we really don't want to accept that we may be "incontinent". We consider that we have a "problem" or perhaps a "small problem" and it's just "different times" and things will get better. We believe that because we want to believe that....denial at work.

Wearing a diaper is hard. Bad enough when feel you need it and it actually saves you a time or two from that awful embarrassment of a public pants wetting or wet furniture. But if you have managed for a little while without needing a diaper, it is all too easy to skip the diaper and hope things are "looking up".

Puffy puts it very well when he tells you he has a "limit of trust" and now he always takes the precaution of wearing a diaper when an accident would be unacceptable. Far better to be wearing a diaper and not need it than to NOT be wearing a diaper and find out the hard way you needed it.

diaperdad just joined us recently and put up a website where he has taken on the stigma of wearing diapers. Check him out at diaperdad.weebly.com

Diapers are just like glasses in a way. Some people don't need them and some do. Once you figure that out in your own head things will get much easier to accept. I would rather a woman finds out I wear a diaper to deal with incontinence than have her, and anyone else in the area, see me wet my pants in a public place. It's better to wear one and not need it than need it and not wear one.

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When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.