www.incontinentsupport.org

Thanks Bruce bolt and don for your advice on my earlier post. I will have several months before I decide whether or not to get the neurostimulator but I am not very keen to have an electronic device planted inside me at such a young age or maybe I slow to accept that I have to try something as I don't wear any protection at the moment.
Judging by the replies I got it seems not many men my age (40) have had this implant. The other option is botox injections to paralyze my bladder which wears off after a few months, it seems there is no good medical solutions to OAB.
I find it very depressing to be a grown man who cannot do a simple thing like being able to control my bladder. I wonder is any body else like me who wears no protection and then has to try and hide wetting accidents. Because I am very head strong I seem to think if I keep doing pelvic exercises and bladder training I might one day have no accidents But as I have this problem all my life it seems unlikely I will ever have normal bladder control without some medical intervention.

Thanks everybody

My urge incontinence is the result of an unexpected complication following surgery when I was 14 years old. For the first three or four years, I had to wear diapers 24/7. But I was a fanatic about doing Kegel exercises and got to the point where I could generally go without daytime protection by the time I went away to university. However, my condition worsened as I got older; and I went back to wearing a diaper 24/7 when I was in my forties.

The thing that convinced me that going back to wearing protection fulltime was the answer was a couple of really embarrassing public accidents. My occupation required me to speak in front of audiences on a regular basis. One of the worst accidents I ever had occurred while I was speaking to over 100 people. Fortunately, there was a large glass of water on the lectern. So when I realized what was happening, i spilled the water on myself as a cover-up. That experience upset me enough that I resolved to wear a diapers anytime I was speaking before an audience. Then I realized how much less anxious I was when I was wearing a diaper, and that lead to the decision to wear 24/7.

Jimo, you're certainly right that there is no really good way of handling urge incontinence and that not being able to control your bladder can be depressing (although in my case the anxiety about having a public accident was worse than the depression). I've tried six different drugs that are supposed to help but didn't, and another medical issue rules out Botox injections or an implanted neurostimulator for me. So I'll be in diapers for the rest of my life. Fortunately, I am comfortable with that fact.

I certainly wish you luck with whatever you decide to do.

Botox was recommended for me too. It just didn't seem feasible for me. The way I understood it, my urologist would have to go in every 3-6 months with a cystoscope and paralyze my bladder by injecting botox (which is a poison by the way). I would not be able to pee on my own for a couple, maybe 3, weeks. I would have to cath myself. That sounds miserable to me. I just don't want to put myself through that. I believe in educating myself thoroughly before I go on with something. My uro doc did not explain this to me. I had to figure it out on my own. I'm sure if I had agreed he would have told me in the end but I believe in being prepared. I refuse to do botox or interstim. They just aren't viable solutions to me.

You my friend, are a smart man... doing the research on procedures and treatments because you know they will not tell you anything negative about them unless you pry it out in the Q & A period, all 3 to 5 minutes they seem to give you when you make an appt... and you had better write all those questions down too, because there is always something you wanted to ask but forgot to (in my case anyhow) Best to be self informed these days, it is all out there, just takes some digging to find it! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Personally, I'm keen to give the botox a go. The neurostimulator freaks me out a bit but maybe if other avenues have been exhausted I'll bring that up to.

I finally saw a urologist last week. It was a bit disappointing in all honesty. He seems to be going down the OAB route from what he was saying (more meds, frequency volume charts) but I seem to be a bit atypical for urge incon.

I'm happy to increase the meds for now. They worked a bit. They halted the agonising spasms I used to get that would double me over. Still incontinent but it's not so painful! I think I'm lucky in terms of side effects though so I may well feel differently if I get a load more side effects after the increase.

I guess the main reason I want to try botox is because it's the only thing that sounds like it might work. Pads/daipers just seem to leak constantly on me and I'm generally not able to deal with changing clothes myself. I'm not ashamed. If they didn't constantly leak then I'd probably just wear them.

Still, pads really are better than nothing honestly. Why not give them a go for a bit? Given urgency can be triggered so easily, being calmer about accidents has to be helpful!