www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi all well my thoughts on that scene is becomming like the ts/tv/cd scene alot more fashionable now? and that i think it has been benefical to inco people aswell as there is alot more items etc to wear/use instead of uncomfortable/not very well made/functioning things! etc so more manufacturers are becomming involved with catering for that market so investing/researching products which is a benefit to us like someone was moaning about tena i think? in usa being crap but in europe alot better.
As i had a chat with a lady that does terry nappies of tots and she had an hell of a problem finding things for her father.and has had a lot of interest from adults in her service that she is thinking of making for adult market now so that does help us!
I'm not saying i realy like the idea of some 16? stone bloke in pink full kit? with a bonnet and dummy not something that would ever appeal to me at all.
But i wouldn't call them (well maybe) a pervert! as not doing it to anyone else only enjoying there own pleasures!
Labelling people perverts for just doing there own thing is i think a bit of a dangerous label? as starts other things off?
And there is alot worse than that out there beleive me from where ive been/seen in life let me tell you?
Did post on another forum(female first) someone was trying to berate people abut finding site selling adult diapers and pants saying there weird?
Weird? i'l tell you what i find weird is someone that comes home and beats the living crap out of a beautiful woman that only wants to care for him and love him and has his kids
Or the idiots that think you have to spend the night getting blathered up on grog then making a complete arse of themselves getting into fights then taking then the space/time up in A&E so other people die(As just happened to a young mum).
and the list goes on?
It's like my friend from turkey. we take the mickey out of him about them about with donkey/dog screwing?. well if you have seen some of the woman might be why? LOL. To my mind if it's happy well so what as if it wasnt it wouldn't be there?.
But what i don't like and that's what i'd sure call a pervert etc is someone that encroachs/forces themselves/intentions ie sexual on others that are unwilling etc like kiddy fiddlers! got something for them it goes BOOM!

Had to laugh though while back someone posted a vid i think was from turkey well was med country? of some guy had gone behind wall in field for a ppe/crap? And donkey in field must have thought HAHA revenge and chased him round field with his strides half down well he was trying to hold them up. and donkey had its tackle out for revenge?

Well Garry if you want to rewrite the dictionary go for it. (simply said) if you take an item like a diaper that is meant to absorb urine and or poo and use it for another thing like sexual gratification it's perverting it. Hence it makes you a pervert. Enough said ..................Sandy

I guess to some extent you could call me a DL as when I was a pilot I would wear a disposable when I was not alone.I have all ways had trouble holding my urine some times.And when flying light planes with passengers you can`t just use a jug that is made for that.So when I became incontinent about nine months ago it was no big thing.I say I am a DL as I love not having to worry about wetting my self or now worse.But Bowels I try my best not to if not along.Wetting I used diapers on trips and such for a longer time.For just in case.But now I have to depend on them as it is a sure thing that some days and nights I am going to wet my self if not worse.So I love the fact that diapers keep me from worrying about being some where with out a rest room close or having a wet spot in the front of my pants.Sort of like a seat belt I guess.I don`t feel right with out a diaper on.As there is all ways that maybe I would not make it to the rest room.But now wetting a lot of the time as I just leak and don`t know I am till I feel the wetness on my underwear.

wow, what an very interesting discussion .. it touches on so many issues.

These fragments seem to summarise the issue:





Like Sandy, I have also never experienced what it is being dry (apart from that I hardly ever wet when awake). I can hardly imagine what it would be like.
I'm really trying to find the right words here .. it is really odd having to define yourself in terms of something that is outside of your own experience.

The best that I can describe how I feel about using diapers is that there are somehow two separate areas in my mind about this. One is about the outside world: how I feel about my bedwetting towards others .. including worries that some people might find out, feelings of failure (mainly as a child), etcetera. This where all the worrying and fretting takes place.
The other part is internal: how do I feel about myself? I have noticed that this is a very different area of mind (if that makes any sense). I can't even say that I really think all that much about this. I just *am*. Maybe that's another reason that it is so hard to explain.
Even if I feel absolutely lousy because of something that happened: say, someone rejected me because of my bedwetting: that would hardly filter through to the inner part. I will feel bad about it, maybe even horrible. But it won't damage my self-image / feeling of self-worth (I think of that part as my "core").

What I'm trying to say is that bedwetting / using protection doesn't impact my core. That core is still the same as it ever was, and somehow I seem to question the fact that my bladder control regularly takes a couple of nights off just as little as infants do. It doesn't enter "the worrying zone" because it is part of my core.
Wearing a diaper in a bedwettingw period just feels sort of cozy or snug or comfortable.
I can relate VERY well to how Sandy describes it in page one of this topic.

One of the reasons that I was so upset about the disposables that I got when I grew out of the child sizes is that they had something "serious" and "problematic" about them. You know: I just thought that something quite similar goes for regular undies. Until you're about 14 you can get underwear in all sorts of cute or funny colours and prints, but after that it is almost as if the colour saturation is turned all the way down. No more cute pink or flowery panties but black, white or - worst of all - skin coloured. Well, I exaggerate a bit, but somehow the playfulness seems taboo beyond that age. After that it is either boring or "sexy".
So I am happy that I now have some alternatives to "standard white". I don't fancy those rumpa pants - too frilly / fussy to my taste .. but I'll definitely go find myself some cute girly coloured ones even if it's just to compensate for those years of yucky hospital-green disposables.



That's very well said .. as in many other posts here as well. I cannot relate to everything that I read .. I have never been ashamed, for one thing. I just don't talk about much because I know how some people think about it and I don't want to have to continually be confronted with that. But I did feel alone, especially in my teens.
I am really glad that I found this forum!



When I first found out about the existence of ab/dl I was VERY puzzled as well. But over time I became more active on the internet, and have been involved with a number of forums and communities about all sorts of things .. ADHD, open source software, .... If there is one that I learned is that one eejit can ruin things for hundreds of others.
I think that every non-moderated forum will therefore eventually be run over by trolls or other .. (must censore myself here a bit) .. morally challenged persons.
It is somewhat unfair that one of those persons can do so much damage. Much more than in real life, because they realise that there are no real penalties for their behaviour.


Or in the 80's !!

I agree with you wheels. I like my diapers for what they do for me. They allow me to live a full and active life without the restrictions imposed on me by my bladder and bowels. I have trouble controlling both of them. Medications have let me down. I have had numerous tests showing nothing conclusive. I don't want to live a life tied to the bathroom where I can't leave the house. Diapers allow me the freedom to go out on a date with my wife, to go to school, to work, and take my kids places that are fun. I enjoy doing things with my family.

I tend to stay away from the sites that are paraded on by the AB/DL's. I used to go to the depend.com website but I quit recently. There is a certain AB/DL blowing up the threads with his fetish posts. I called him on it and the moderators deleted my post. I'm not the pervert. I just want a clean site. So I quit posting there. Thats why I usually hang out here. This site is clean and I feel the people here are mostly genuine. I have learned alot from this site on how to live a full life despite my condition.

I noticed that on the "other site" too Don, and I do not think it was your post that got the whole message deleted, it was the message he started in the first place, no doubt he is AB/DL all the way. I like it here much better, you can speak your mind, without being offensive of course, and everything is still there the next day. Let alone mentioning another website of diaper brand, those do not stay up long over there either! Puffy

While not part of the AB/DL world I feel that the demands they make for a better product is listened to more than we are. So because of them we have more products to choose from that work much better. We tend to be more quiet about it. That's just my opinion.

I was aware that there were people with this abdl penchant. It's hard to not notice them even if you only shop online for disposables now and then. I've noticed as well that some internet stores seem to address that group more than people with incontinence - even some of the stores that are recommended here as having good products.
Technically it doesn't make any difference and it might even help us by offering am incentive to offer more variety or whatever.
But still I have some mixed feelings about it. Some websites are pretty weird in the way they address potential customers, and I feel pretty uncomfortable if I'm being addressed in this cutesy-blahblah weird lingo

I just don't want to be tossed into a category where I don't belong.

And the more I think about it, the more it annoys me that there are apparently more incentives to cater to a sexually motivated pressure group than to a group that needs their products because of a medical necessity, and to whom it is a matter of living in dignity and as fully as possible.

I know that "we" don't make a lot of noise but surely it cannot be justified that we are to blame ourselves for that? I don't think that any other patient group had to compete with a vocal sexual minority in order to be even heard!

Just imagine this with another handicap or illness: that some people would develop a huge desire to walk around with sticks or crutches or use wheelchairs without needing them. Suddenly, the folk who used these things because they needed them start being addressed in this "wink winky nudge nudge say no more!" sort of way when they try to buy a walking stick.

I think many people would be outraged! And even if this meant a great impulse to the wheelchair industry, resulting in the development of new zippy models that are WAY better than the old ones you used to get - I can't imagine that people would point to the original user group saying something like "You could've had this if only you had been a bit more vocal! Take an example from *them* (points to wheelchair fetishists in weirdly decorated wheelchairs)"

I haven't got a problem with whatever consenting adults care to engage in, as long as they don't harm others. And I know that it can't be blamed on them if the diaper industry collectively goes all funny in the head in order to please them.

But it cannot be right that catering to sexually motivated demands ranks higher than trying to help a group, who has never had a choice in these things, to live as good and productive and fulfilling a life as possible.

Sorry if I got a bit carried away
M

I agree with you Maria but I also am glad that the fetish squad is out there only because they force a better product to be made. I cannot imagine being stuck in a product like Depends or some other generic brand of disposable. It's products such as those that we may be stuck with only because we have had no real choices. We have to wear diapers of some sort. That makes us a pretty much captive group. Based on that the diaper companies may only make a cheap product because they know we have to keep purchasing. The other group want something else from a diaper and the smart companies have responded for which we can benefit. Some of the products out there work fantastic and they target the abdl crowd. I purchase SecureX Plus from Bambino despite the babyish website. I'm not interested in the baby printing on the landing of some of the products. I'm interested in performance, period. So if they want to "lump" me into a specific group so be it. I know better! So in a way I hope they keep barking for a higher quality product at a fair price. It all just helps me maintain a higher quality life.

I'm thankful for companies like Abena and Molicare. They make a quality product at a fair price and they do not cater to the ab/dl crowd at all. Sure the molicares are that weird purple color, but they work really well and they are comfortable. I prefer a diaper that is white so I stick with the abena's. It has that blue line design to it but I don't mind. They don't look babyish in the least. I would never want to wear anything that screamed ab/dl with little ducks or stars or what not. My 3 yr old wears stuff like that. Not me. I'd be afraid of my doctor or somebody seeing me in something silly like that.

As far as credit goes, I don't want to give that much credit to the ab/dl crowd anyway. I don't credit them with all our advancements in incontinence care. I would like to believe that not all companies that sell incontinence pads make their decisions based on the AB types. Those of us that have incontinence as a disability through no fault of our own have to have some say. Just my 2 cents.