www.incontinentsupport.org

JoeK leads off with an excellent progression from occasional incontinence into diapers 24/7 that has given me some insights into my own journey. Of course, there is also the parallel story about seeking medical causes and solutions.

It probably took too long, but I recently decided that I had to stop allowing my incontinence to rule my life - how far and how long I could be away from a toilet, often including a backup plan. So, this is my first week depending totally on diapers, which is what led me to this forum.

I am finding that I am far less stressed and feel far more secure and, actually, free. Yes, diapers are no darned fun. They are expensive, and I worry about leaking and smelling. But I no longer worry about the wet spot running down my leg as I run toward a toilet.

That's the way I see it Falcon. There is no need to live your life focused on where the nearest toilet is... there are many many other things to devote your time to. Diapers 24/7 may not be the most pleasant thing in the world but you get used to it after a bit and then you wonder why you waited as long as you did to start.

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~~PuddleGuy

indeed...even if you make it to the bathroom sometimes at home, your still thinking about going to the bathroom all the time.."when did I last go? has it been to long? has it been too soon? am i stretching my bladder enough?" yadda yadda yadda. Just wear the diaper, and use it if you have to.. Right now, if i get enough advance warning, and am not terribly inconvinenced by it, i do use the bathroom for no 1..otherwise, i let my diaper do its thing.. But, im real ambivelent about usig the toilet..

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

I am at about the same stage as many others involved in this post. When going out for any length of time > 30 mins max, I have to have protection and do just that. Disposable Tena Supers work best for me, and are the best bang for the buck at around .90 cents a piece on sale. If it is going to be an all day thing, a cath and leg bag works very well, and I don't have to worry about odor issues. In a diaper, I am not out anywhere longer then 3-4 hours, and rarely need to change before I get home. I now go out stress free of freaking out so-to-speak on where the next bathroom is located, and limiting fluids which was detrimental to my health. If I can find a bathroom in my travel path I am on, the Tena Super cloth type backing easily undoes and refastens so I can proceed. No muss, no fuss. I recently had a chat with someone, and asked them "If you were out and had a few beer/pops/water, and the urge hit in the middle of a store that you KNEW you could not get to the bathroom, and were surrounded by people, how much/what level of protection would you want to have... You know the answer was "the most I could possibly have to avoid a wet scene... " I just said "I rest my case" When put that way, I think she really thought twice that having a diaper on may be overkill, but when you understand urge incon, and that you lose your ENTIRE bladder volume in one shot, you need to have something on that can handle it, and a pull-on does not do it well, let me tell you! Cover pants help them, but still nowhere near as secure a feeling I have in a Tena... Puff

I also have urge incon. I have bedwetting and fecal incon too but thats another topic. If I'm just hanging out around my house then I will just wear a pair of shorts with no diaper. I can usually make it to the toilet as the toilet is right there and I usually get about 30 secs to a minute of warning before I start to go. If I'm going out, then I'll wear an Abena Xplus or Extra. I usually wear a concealer as well so the xplus doesn't appear too bulky. Nobody has ever asked me if or why I was wearing a diaper.

I guess my wife just chalks it up to it being my problem and my problem to deal with. Which is fine, because she doesn't give me any grief about wearing a diaper or wetting.

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I,ve had a weak bladder for years. I would go from building to building at work that had bathrooms. I went to my Urologist and I had an almost closed up urinary opening. After my Turp I was ok for a few years. Then it started in again. My DR. found I have a neurogenic bladder. I finally gave up trying to run to a bathroom and started wearing protection. It changed my life for the better. I don't have to worry anymore where a bathroom is!

The best thing that could of happened to me was when my parents put me back on diapers. They. Showed me that my underwear were thrown out and diapers filled the drawer. They went on to tell me that I am in diapers and not to take my diapers off ( I made a few messes on the floor struggling with the diapers not getting them down in time). I was instructed to ask for diaper changes as needed and/or would have diaper checks as needed. Once I got used to being diaper dependent, it was pretty comfortable. I have no regrets about giving it up to diapers and that was 30 years ago.

Awesome description Joe! For me personally the urgency began with enough severity that I skipped right to the absorbent underwear stage . . .but it backs off again sometimes for long periods and I stop wearing them. . . and then start again somewhere on the continuum you so artfully describe.
Your comments on guilt. . . right on with my experience, and since for me the urgency gets better and worse, I'm often back and forth on what to wear and when to wear it, and even how to 'use' it. . . now the wost part: I've been going round and round with it for 19 years, and STILL I get that twinge of guilt or shame when I just let go instead of seeking out the toilet. What's more, putting on a premium diaper and thus pretty well knowning then already that I'm not going to be seeking out restrooms, same little guilty feeling. It's really astounding how deeply ingrained these feelings can be. I don't 'suffer' from these feelings anymore, but I still have them.

I work at a software company and everybody is issued a company laptop and backpack/laptop case. I have found it very convenient to carry an extra diaper in the backpack. I have also 'converted' an old laptop case to carry 3 diapers which I leave in my car. That way it is fairly discrete and un-noticeable. I guess what I am trying to say is if you carry a briefcase, computer case, or something other than your purse, see if you can stuff a change or two in it.

Just an idea