www.incontinentsupport.org

Dangoch: Hmmm ... You bring up some past memories! I too was this same way ... I remember feeling embarrassed, ashamed, afraid, etc. Then one day, while reading this board no less, it hit me: "so what?". Some people take pills; others use crutches; well, diapering is my crutch. It helps me live my life. I can do the things I need to do with out ruining my clothes or (worse yet), ruining the furnishings of another person! From that point on, if someone found out my "secret", so be it. I "like" my diapers, I "need" them, they benefit others when I sit in their seats, and that's that.

Of course, Murphy's law put that to the test ... A day or two later a good friend of mine "found out". And guess what ... She said "sorry to hear about your your health problems". But that was it and we continued on with life ... Whew! What a relief that was for me!

Since then a few other close friends have learned of my condition. Their responses have been normal. Alas, there was one acquaintance that stumbled on my condition and totally freaked out. Oh well ... I can't worry about their reaction! It's their reaction; not mine!

Lastly ... I have to say this ... I tend to be a pretty positive person. So I look for the few blessings related to my incon. And "yes", there are some! The most recent one is in long haul driving. My best friend and I love long driving trip vacations to far away locations. Well ... since my condition started, I have been the designated night time driver since I can drive for hours without having to stop for a "pee" break! That lets my friend sleep while I just pound away the miles! And for the pundits out there: Would I rather be "in control" of my sphincter vs. not stopping for a break in a loo? Gee ... that's a question that has an obvious answer. But if life is gonna give me a lemon for a bladder, then I might as well make something out of it!

ILuvLA.

P.S WOW ... I just read my post ... Sorry for the long rant; Just had to say a few words.

This thread seems to have lost its way. Papa

So if you just let go, are you a DL?

John, an easy answer to that is - if you are not incontinent yes you are a DL if you are incontinent it hardly makes you a DL. Much like if you use a wheel chair and have no need for one - what does that make you? If you have little or no use of your legs and use a wheel chair - is there a name for that? Being a DL is not really something you are if you have to wear and use diapers. It may be that after you become incontinent you try to find a way to cope with the situation - but I can't believe you really become a true DL. A true DL can decide if he/she wants to wear diapers or not. When that choice is removed, being or thinking your a DL just isn't the same, in my opinoion. It would make life easier if you could be a true DL if you are incontinent, but most incons would give anything to be "normal" again. If you find something that helps make it easier - do it. Papa

This question has freaked me out too. I have an icon problem, I dont always make it to the bathroom, have a hard time getting my blader emtied completly and often leak the rest a few min afterwards, sometimes even without realising it untill I feel the wetnes of the diper. I leak when lifting, sneasing or, worst of all, pasing wind. Exept from those ocations, I feel that I have controll.
But sometimes, if I'm very consentraded on something, like working on a project of some kind, I feel myself having the urge to go and it seems that if I don't pay attention, I just go. Sometimes I hold it, and get to the bathroom. I get very confused if this is a matter of not really trying enough, or a genuin not having the controll issue. Am I just beeing lasy and not caring?
To make my worries worse, after a year of gradualy worse and worse leaks, resulting in full time diper use for the last 3-4 months, I sometimes just dont give a da... if I have a somewhat wet diper.

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You don`t appreciate the light if you have not been in total darkness.
Please excuse my bad english, I'm doing my best.

I don't care if someone calls me a dl or not. Even if I go to the bathroom every couple of hours I would still need something to get through a movie or enjoy a few hours out of my home. Diapers are my chosen method to get most of my life back.

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When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

At this rate i am going to have declare myself a Wheelchair Lover (WL). normally I have a picture of my wheelchair (Quickie TI) as my avatar on forums. I love my wheelchair and love using it. Why - 'cos I can't go anywhere without it! Trying to make paralysed limbs work fails so it is a wheelchair instead. As time goes by that dreaded and horrible machine of a wheelchair because something one loves for the freedom it brings. I been round Canada including the Niagara Falls (thought then hill from the Falls to the main town was a bit of a killer!). My wheelchair is marvellous.

So, why am I telling you that I am an WL? Isn't it obvious? I have not choice and my wheelchair (which I can't type right first time for toffee!) is freedom. Now I wear terry nappies at night - I love those too. I wake up dry and 'contained'. Daytime, I use sheaths (external catheters or nappies (diapers). is this any different from a wheelchair? No! If I can deal with my leakages I nappies do - just like the wheelchair for legs that don't work1

So, if you have problems and hold your wee - forget it. Stick on the nappy and get on with life. This is not giving up - rather it is giving up chasing your bladder and having a life ruled by your bladder. Take your life back - nappy on and go! (Oh, and you might like the diaper for what it does for you, so?)

Ani, I believe that is what is being said. Once you have to wear diapers full time because you have no choice the next step seems to be some form of guilt about using them. Not using them for your specific type of incontintence but just using them because you can. If you have some control you try rushing to the toilet, if you have no control it is a moot point since you are only going to use your diapers. It is those that have some control that seem to be feeling this "guilt" about just using their diapers without making an attempt to rush to a toilet. Those of us who have no control or so little we know we can't make it just use our diapers, which still carries some emotional baggage. Are you a DL if you don't try and just go without trying? Look at much of the decussion here. It most often revolves around "what is the best diaper, Have you tried this diaper or that one? I tried this brand or type and love them!, where do you buy this or that?" It sounds like a DL site, except we wear diapers because we have to. This guilt thing also extends to what the diaper looks like. If it has Teddy Bears on it or is a babyish print or color or you have rhumba plastic pants then somehow you have gone over to the dark side. A diaper by any other name (or style, print, look) still gets just as wet. It is still a diaper. Too many believe that if your diapers and or plastic pants are not white, plain, boring and simple you verge on being a DL. Bottom line is it's a diaper period! No color or print or lack of them can change that fact. Papa

Well said,.....I agree.

Thank you Doug, Wheels and Papa!
I was feeling particularly vulnerable and guilty today, working on a quilting project and just not paying attention before it was way to late, and there was no way to stop getting soaking wet. I guess I just have to learn to change and get on with it, but it is easyer said than done.

_________________
You don`t appreciate the light if you have not been in total darkness.
Please excuse my bad english, I'm doing my best.