www.incontinentsupport.org

I sometimes get pretty cought up in my own life when talking about my medical issues and find its easy to forget the one who helps me out the most, my wife.

She just accepts the way things are, she feels sorry for me that this is the way I am. I know she misses me being naked in bed (we always sleep naked) for instance. Plus spontanuity for intimate times are now gone which I know she loved...

I have heard of stories of peoples spouses leaving them on the other extreme as well.

My question is how has your incontinence changed your wife or partners life?

Charlie,
A lot of people who have become incontinent and have to go back to wearing a diaper get a lot of grief from their partner/spouse. I really believe , as a bunch of other members too, if this partner/spouse really cares for you, they will accept it and support you.

I've been incontinent for about 10 years. When I first started having problems, my wife suggested I start wearing protection. I did so and went to see a doctor. It did not get any better, but just got gradually worse. I was having to wear a diaper all the time. It really bothered my wife when it looked like I was not going to be cured. She read up on it trying to find something out there that could cure me.

Finally, after about a year, she just accepted it and supported me. Now she's looking for good deals in the sale papers when adult diapers go on sale. She herself has an overactive bladder and takes medication for it. She hasn't had any accidents, but I see in the future she will. Her medication doesn't work that well now. If she has to start wearing diapers like me, she'll have a good supporter in me.

But as you mentioned, Charlie, I miss the spontaneous moments in bed. I have to shower if we want to do anything. The mood is just not the same when I come back to bed.
Anyways, you have a good topic there, Charlie. ........Paul Martin

Hi Paul and all yes started wearing a diaper about 10yrs ago was very up set because lose the close times with your wife.She is in full support of me having to wear a diaper.This still gets in the way.

What gets me is you have to shower before What about after I feel bad for you people that are treated like this It's not right My husband has never made me shower or ever made me feel bad because of a little smell or wetness. Heck often times he untapes it and retapes it afterwords if I'm wearing one you can do that you can do that with. It really gets my dander up when I here spouses treating other incontinent people this way. Hey paul I'll bet your wife isn't always a bed of roses down there . Does she shower before hand

...............................Sandy

My better half has been so very good in regards to my incontinence. When I get down or complain about it she just tells me that there is nothing I can do to change it so why let it get me down. She has been extremely acceptive of my special needs. When it comes to intimacy we aren't exactly spontanious because I am pretty much diapered 24/7 but we make due. We have found that the only time I do not leak is when I am aroused which is a blessing. As a matter of fact it is impossible for me to release urine when in that state. She has lovingly diapered me afterwards but she has not changed me when I'm wet and I told her I would never request her to do so. I don't think she would be too keen on changing me anyway. I wear a pair of shorts over my diaper/plastic pants at night at her request as I don't think she likes the feel of the plastic pants when we are in bed. I do consider myself lucky to have such a wonderful woman to share life with. She knows that it is something I have no control over and that I am doing everything I can to manage my incontinence.

My spouse has accepted the fact that I have to wear but it doesn’t really go any further than that. She has at times brought me coupons for Depends which I only use if I run out of my good ones. She has at least checked with me to see if I need to change before we go out and she is now at least staying the room with me when I change and we are talking.

Just this last month I was able to talk to her about wearing just my diaper and long t-shirt late night as we watch movies. At first she was asking me to at least put some shorts or something over them which for the longest time I did, but then during our talk I asked her one question, “what is so different about the way I am dressed compared to you just in your night gown?” During the talk she said the main reason she asked me to wear shorts was “what if someone knocks on the door?” my reply was, “I would do the same as you, grab something to put on or cover up with and then answer the door.” She then understood and said yes that makes since.

As far as anything else there isn’t anything anymore. We both sleep in different beds/arrangements even when we stay at a hotel or her families. Not all of this is because I wear diapers, some of this goes back a ways with some other issues we were having but the diapers have now made it permanent.

Sandy, if the tables were turned on me, I know I would be like your husband. Just wish my wife was that way.

So how has diapers impacted my life with my wife? More than I have even talked about here. But I am not going to let that stop me from living and doing what is required of me.

Kent

Hi all boy the problems with incontinence are a big bag my wife is very supportive she understands my type urge due to bph but would never ask her to change me as I have no physical problems.

My wife has been great! After she saw what i was going through and realized I was not gonna die she agrees with me to just manage it. She always reminds me of what level of protection to wear based on what we will be doing but she seems to remind me of everything else. Last Christmas instead of the normals sock & underware in the Christmas stocking there was a note to look in the garage and there were 2 cases of "protective underware" She is a good lady

To be honest, I have been incontinent going on 20 years now, and i shy away from anyone who tries to initiate a deep relationship with me, i always end the situation before it gets to an intimate stage

I couldnt imagine allowing anyone to get close enough to become a partner. I am shy, still trying to deal with health 'stuff' and whereas i am not embarressed about wearing nappies, i just dont trust anyone to get close enough to hurt me.. my experience of people, is they can be so damn hurtful sometimes!

do ya think i have rejection problems?

Mike

As I have not been wearing that long time will tell.My wife is supportive.As when she had a hysterectomy at a young age her X husband told her she was no longer a women so she knows what rejection is over things we can`t help.She has a lot of medical problems and we support each other.Her sex drive has been down for a long time because of the medications she is on and now so is mine for the same reason.

But I have not felt this good in other ways in a long time.And we do something together all most every day.Walk on the beach, bike ride,go walk in a mall and just look and maybe have lunch, and go camping about every month.I think our love is closer now as I was all ways healthy and she worried about not being able to do some things that she knows I like to do.I think a lot of that came from her first husband and was afraid it would happen again.But I love her for her not what she can or can`t do.

Live life for what you can do not what you can`t do.What she can do she is the best.She was a nurse at one time so she has see it all any way.