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Sandy,
What type diaper does Jane wear? I guess if she knew that you two were going to be out for a while, she could have used a booster pad or made sure she had on a dry diaper before the two of you left.
I'm glad you were there to comfort her. I realize she had a terrible experience that she just wants to forget.
I usually don't have floods. If I drink a high caffine drink, it'll come back and get me, so I plan accordingly. Those customers in the store that made those comments should be ashamed of themselves!
Keep up the good support like you always do with Jane. ...Paul Martin

Jane just left a little while ago. She was wearing a Tranquility ATN yesterday. We talked some more tonight about it. She said first off she should have changed before we left But said well you know how it is "I wasn't that wet" She said she had only been in that diaper for around an hour and a 1/2 What really did her in was the bottom tape on the one side came loose and caused the flood to just run right out the side. Also she wasn't wearing any underwear or mesh pants over it either. Just a fairly loose pair of shorts which came down a little short of her knees. The manager from that place called Jane this afternoon. He basically want to see how she was doing. I'm not sure what was said but Jane seemed alright with it. My husband kind of chuckled last night about the manager calling him yesterday. He said I was unhinged He's never seen me like that. My husband said he told him that it was rare. But yes Sandy does have a side of her that you don't want to mess with My husband said he told him that I or we tend to be very protective of Jane and gave him a short history and what Jane means to us. He told him that may have been why I went nuts at those people. Which thinking about it he maybe right. As much as I hate to admit it I sometimes think my husband knows me better then I know myself I have to say my heart still aches thinking of Jane sobbing in the truck ..........Sandy

Sandy,

I've had some close calls over the years, but never a situation as bad as what you've described. I'm sure everyone will agree, any disposable diaper can have issues regardless of the quality. However, if you use only quality products you tend to have less issues. Additionally, KINS does make some very good plastic pants. Wearing plastic pants will reduce odor, add protection from leaking diapers, and depending on the type of plastic pants,...... they will also reduce any diaper bulk you might have. I use to only use them at night, but now I use them 24/7. Might be worth a try.

Jane will wear mesh panties or brief style panties over her diapers but as far as plastic pants? not very often during the day but she does use them at night from time to time. My young friend was telling Jane about cloth and plastic pants and so on a few weeks ago but she just won't go there? The only time my young friend ever wears a disposible is when her monthly friend is in town .................Sandy

Sandy,
Johnstone has a point. I wear nylon type plastic pants during the day over my disposable ALWAYS. It's for any leaks that may occur, but mostly for controling the "krinkle" sound of my plastic backed diaper.
The nylon pants I wear are not effected by the diaper rash cream I use during the day. The nylon pants I use came from Kins.
Jane would have a lot more confidence in her diaper if she had that extra protection. I would suggest that to her. Your young friend is smart wearing cloth diapers. But I know they are not for every one. ...Paul Martin

Dang.. i thought my public leak in the library was bad... at least there was nobody around.. oh well.. for the most part, the tena briefs i use do a good job in keeping me dry.. i had a flood at the gas station today..i had the impression that my bladder was getting full.. and had planned to use the bathroom as soon as possible..heading back to the workplace..went to get gas for my trip tomorrow..forgot my debit card at home.. and had to call my mom to go get it..was waiting there for 15 minutes with a pretty full bladder..well, we all know how if your not careful, a full bladder = full diaper pretty darn quick. Up until now, ive never had to change during the evening activities on work on thursday. But i did today. This marks the second time where i had to change while working out in the community. No sweat..no one asks any questions.. the brief was pretty full..but it wasnt totally saturated. I still have not seen any real resolution or reduction in symptoms..i still wet myself daily, sometimes big amounts, sometimes small amounts.. and nothing the docs have done has made much difference. However, i am NOT ready to give up yet. Pehaps the ritalin is causing it...

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

The manager sent Jane a card and a gift certificate for TJ Macks for $100.00 Boy I think I'm going in that place next time with a full diaper and flooding it $$ ................Sandy

Sandy, I had a little extra time today due to the holiday and just read through all 29 pages of this thread. I just wanted to say that I think you and your husband are wonderful, amazing people and I wish I had a friend like you when I dealt with the incontinence I was able to have surgically corrected back in 2002.

What awesome support you have given Jane and your young friend. You are the kind of friend every woman likes to have - like a sister - and you have made a huge difference in these other two women's lives.

It makes me angry and sad to think of Jane's husband thinking of her so cheaply that he is willing to throw her away for the sake of her incontinence. It's almost like he is convinced that she 'does it' to him on purpose, as if she had control and is using her supposed control against him. I hope somehow, that they will both be able and willing to go to counseling and work it out. If they can, it will be much better for them and especially their children.

I remember back when I had my first really tight relationship with a fellow and he found out that I had bulimia and dropped me like a hot potato without even bothering to try and talk to me or help me get help for it. After the breakup, I was so anquished for a long time that anorexia set in which I had for five years, causing damage to my eyes and bladder, not to mention my entire digestive system because my body no longer recognized food. I didn't blame him entirely as I had other stress 'trigger' problems going on but it definitely set the condition in motion.

I am recovered from the anorexia today and very glad NOW that our relationship didn't progress any further as it would have proved very damaging. Hopefully, things can work out for Jane and her husband and he can learn acceptance because otherwise it sounds like he is a decent daddy and I am sure that she married him because she saw good qualities in him. Perhaps with counseling (if he is willing) he will allow her to see those good qualities again.

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"Cats' whiskers are so sensitive, they can find their way through the narrowest cracks of a broken heart"

Piddlefree, You are so absolutly right! Sandy has been a Godsend to Jane.
I really like her spunk and no nonsense attitude to her incontinence.
This forum is lucky to have her as a member and moderator.

Sandy, I was so glad to hear Jane got her compensation from that manager. She went through a lot with that experience. Keep up the good work with her. ...........Paul Martin

Well thank you for the kind words Sorry to say but Janes marriage is done there dose not appear to be any chance of saving it I'm not sure how Jane got involved with him in the first place. I know they knew each other for awhile before they got married I'm not one for divorce but this might be for the best for all involved. The way he treated Jane in front of the children was bad. The children don't need to grow up seeing that. ..........................Sandy