www.incontinentsupport.org

I couldn't agree more. If you have limited control, these serve as underwear when you don't have an accident and serve as protection when you do. I still use these for around the house a lot, and I can usually buy them on sale locally.
I have resigned myself to accept the white diaper. Over a year ago I started out in some "for men" pull-ups that just made them look "odd" with their stripes etc. I've also tried the Megamax tie dye and the NS Supreme Lite in purple. Their colours did not visually help me at all. White NS Supreme Lites are cheaper where I order, so I go with that.

I get that. It's all what works for each of us. The striped ones didn't work for me either, they looked like a white paper diaper with stripes.

My biggest concern is that if anyone sees my waistband, it doesn't look like a diaper. I worry about that a lot.

As far as how I see myself, like I said if I was totally incontinent like so many of you are, it would be easier for me to handle it mentally. I would know I needed it every day and it is just reality. Be it urine or feces, if it was constant, then it would be a known quantity.

Mine comes and goes with flares, and some flares don't have much or any incontinence. Sometimes I am not that sick but I leak like crazy. I wear regular underwear for a month and then I am back in pullups for a year. I'm cool on wearing regular underwear for a while though after an incident at Home Depot about six months ago when I went from normal to incontinent in the store with a four-year-old, my wife and no supplies. But since my wife has the same disease and rarely uses diapers (even when she lightly soils her underwear daily), I feel pressure to try. I sometimes feel guilty if I keep using pullups and have no leakage.

I was hard to diagnose and I've had many doctors over the years say that I shouldn't have this sort of continence issues with this disease, or they would counter that since I have incontinence, I don't have IBD but "just IBS" and therefore "it's all stress". "You just need to learn how to hold the diarrhea longer, none of my other patients have problems like this". "You are too young to have these problems" It was even suggested that this was some sort of a mental or moral failing on my part. Perhaps, one argued, some deep-seated part of my brain wanted me to be like this and I subconsciously caused my own diarrhea like some kind of eating disorder or as a form of hypochondria.

Even though this is all crap, when I see myself like that in the mirror, a little voice in the back of my head says "So is this is the way you want to look? This is the way people see you. This might be all your fault; perhaps you are somehow making this happen." Of course, we have a diagnosis and I now know these problems are very common in patients with Crohn's/UC/IBD; the doctors just never asked. My pelvic floor therapist has a lot of patients with IBD with these exact problems. Plus I've damaged my pelvic floor from holding the diarrhea for so long, something that I saw as a victory over my failures of incontinence.

Having a pullup that looks slightly less like a diaper helps me mentally. It helps me tell myself that I am not trying to be like this on purpose.

I try to understand the threat to one's self image that incontinence, especially fecal incontinence, imposes on us. I manage by taking an internal deodorant with every solid meal, and wearing appropriate protection. Sometimes that is a pullup; other times it is a full diaper with a plastic overpant. Managing double incontinence can be a challenge, which the folks here understand. Although incontinence is not lethal, it is a difficult challenge. Folks who have risen to that challenge deserve kudos.

I have found that if I wear pullups, they are not absorbent enough for any time away more than an hour. However, if I add a doubler, they will be absorbent enough, but now they are too heavy for the weak elastic waistband.

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- Tom

I have tried a lot of different brands of pull-ups, but have found none of them suitable. I'm a large person (320 lbs, 50" waist, 52" hip, 29" thigh). Even if I find a size that the manufacturer says will fit, they don't. Rise is not high enough, padding doesn't come up high enough on the front, and padding isn't wide enough. So, I've given up on trying any more pull-ups. I'll stick with diapers for most situations. My go-to disposables are NorthShore MegaMax and Trest. On my "lighter days" at home, I've started using the NorthShore DynaDry 2XL shaped pads pressed into a pair of cotton underwear, as they provide coverage and protection that's better than a pull-up. NorthShore recently improved the DynaDry pads significantly: better adhesive and fit. I wear a second pair of underwear over the pair with the pad to keep things close-fitting because my lightest accidents are still on the heavy side. (My heaviest accidents will saturate the entire front of a MegaMax or Trest; a second heavy accident saturates the crotch all the way to the back.)

I've come to the conclusion that pull-ups are not a good choice for larger people. My guess is that they fit great on shorter and skinnier folks. The problem is that the padding isn't proportionately larger (width and rise) in the larger waist/hip sizes.

I tried pull ups for a bit. Until I had the misfortune of having to change in a public restroom. I realized that I had to remove my shoes and pants to change.
I have only bought diapers since.

For changing in a public washroom, I couldn't agree more. Even my wife was on board with briefs when I explained this fact. Thankfully, I've not had to change in a public washroom yet. If I thought it was likely, I too would wear a brief for the reason you mentioned.