Accepting incontinence and using diapers

[dp66]

Several on this post have indicated that they have accepted their need for diapers. My question is how? Have any of you tried to go unprotected at times, and if so how did that go? My incontinence is so unpredictable. There are times when I can go nearly a day without feeling the need/urge to pee. I have a large bladder which caused bladder retention. I know my prostatectomy of 5 years ago along with heart failure, and recent back surgery have attributed to my control issues, but I still feel that I can manage without diapers. I feel it a waste to wear a diaper when it may not be necessary. Do any of you wear a diaper just in case? Should I give in to that thinking? I'm not sure I'm brave enough to try. At soon to be 75 years young, I'm a little hesitant to start experimenting on anything.

[wayne]

Several on this post have indicated that they have accepted their need for diapers. My question is how?

Acceptance is ongoing for my part. I wear a pull-up daily and use the toilet, maintaining as much control as possible (this much I have accepted). When I go out, I sometimes take chances and continue in a pull-up. At others, I'll wear plastic pants over the pull-up just in case, or reluctantly, I'll wear a diaper if I fear the possibility of a fecal accident.

Have any of you tried to go unprotected at times, and if so how did that go?

Now that I work from home, there is a strong temptation for me to go unprotected. My problem is that I often need to make a trip or two to stores to pick up groceries, supplies like cat litter etc. I know from experience that going to stores unprotected is a bad idea. So rather than try to plan every day, I just wear a pull-up. This has proven useful a few times, for even just around the house. If I didn't do this I'd have to stop and change before I went out. I find that extremely inconvenient and I prefer not to draw unwanted attention to my IC.

My incontinence is so unpredictable. There are times when I can go nearly a day without feeling the need/urge to pee. ... but I still feel that I can manage without diapers. I feel it a waste to wear a diaper when it may not be necessary. Do any of you wear a diaper just in case?

I've been wearing pull-ups during the day for over a year now, and most days I throw it away thinking it was a waste. But is insurance a waste? It is if you never use it. But like insurance, you're buying safety for the unexpected.

I'm not sure I'm brave enough to try. At soon to be 75 years young, I'm a little hesitant to start experimenting on anything.

I'm a decade younger but to maintain the facade of dignity, I do try different products. The choices tend to be personal and what works for one is often unsuitable for someone else. Unfortunately, this requires a certain amount of experimentation.

I do find that if your U-IC are not floods, that you can comfortably get by with pull-ups (I like the TENA Extra). If you have fecal accidents then pull-ups are not up to the task. Briefs (diapers) are inconvenient if you plan to use the toilet often, but some folks seem to manage it. In the end, this is something you'll need to decide for yourself. Good luck.

[JDinVirginia]

As I am double incontinent, the bowel incontinence part requires me to wear a diaper and plastic pants 24/7. I still have some urinary control, but not enough. I am OAB and can have full voids with little or no warning. I also am a bedwetter. So, acceptance never was not an option - I was incontinent, period. My options were in how to deal with it both physically and emotionally.

With much trial and error, I have managed my incontinence fairly well. Although I am in full acceptance, emotionally I continue to need reinforcement from others. That is why I am here on ISC after many years.

--John
(double incontinent)

[wayne]

Although I am in full acceptance, emotionally I continue to need reinforcement from others. That is why I am here on ISC after many years.

Unfortunately, there is no gaming the system in this problem.

[greenbank]

Although I am in full acceptance, emotionally I continue to need reinforcement from others. That is why I am here on ISC after many years.

Unfortunately, there is no gaming the system in this problem.

Acceptance is hard even after 30+ years health professionals can only go so far. Diapers have been my friend to give me a normal a life as possible. I had to accept incontinence from a young age as I did not have a choice. I look at all the things I need to support me. I so wish the internet had been around all those years ago this place is a treasure trove of information, even after all these years I am finding new ways and tools to manage my condition.

Recently I had the worst UTI in my life and the people here were fantastic.

My go to saying is “yes I have incontinence but incontinence does not have me”!

All those around the world that are celebrating The Queen jubilee have a lovely time.

Keep safe all

Greenbank

[justej]

I had a hard time accepting my incontinence. I'm incontinent from an accident. I fell down an escalator and damaged nerves in my bladder (as well as fracturing my ankle in 4 places eventually having my leg amputated). I remember at the beginning I just didn't know what to do. my diagnosis of paralyzed neurogenic bladder didn't come for a year or two. I wore attends until I googled incontinence support group and came on this site. It was a blessing. I learned about premium diapers and pul pants and all sorts of stuff. I had found the outlet I needed. And I still find myself in situations where I need help and know I can always come here for advice. I love this place.

[greenbank]

I had a hard time accepting my incontinence. I'm incontinent from an accident. I fell down an escalator and damaged nerves in my bladder (as well as fracturing my ankle in 4 places eventually having my leg amputated). I remember at the beginning I just didn't know what to do. my diagnosis of paralyzed neurogenic bladder didn't come for a year or two. I wore attends until I googled incontinence support group and came on this site. It was a blessing. I learned about premium diapers and pul pants and all sorts of stuff. I had found the outlet I needed. And I still find myself in situations where I need help and know I can always come here for advice. I love this place.

Your experience is similar to my one. I was a happy teenager enjoying life went to school as normal came home did homework went to bed as normal that night is when my normal life changed. Woke up in absolutely excruciating pain screaming the place down. Doctor called and diagnosed a diabetic attack was sent to hospital and ran tests this is where everything hit the fan. Rushed to surgery only just saved my life. I had a burst appendix and all the infection triggered septic shock (sepsis) and this caused irreversible damage that caused my incontinence. It was hard to adapt to all the changes that I had to make from hygiene, diaper changes, skin care, clothing choices, moving to the school private staff changing room for changes and shower after sports. All this madness so I could have a normal life that this was not my fault.

[justej]

Greenbank - your words of "it's not my fault" rang so true to me. I was on my way to get my cat a birthday present with my good friend and in an instant my life changed. I now look at my closet full of diapers, my bag I have to carry everywhere, finding places to change and trying to explain to people why I take so long in the bathroom. And then I look at my leg. The stares I get from people. I got stared at a lot growing up because I was (still am?) A punk kid. The tattoos and piercings and clothes. But now it's a different stare. Some shock, some sympathy. I will say it's easier for me to use my wheelchair and not worry about my diapers because for some reason it's more "accepted". I'm still trying to figure that one out.

[wayne]

Greenbank and Justej, both tragic! There are just no other words for it.

Cats are just evil (we have four) but we love them anyway. My son-in-law went to get a cat wheel for their exercise and ended up in a car accident on the way home. He was ok thankfully, but the car not so much.

[Patrick]

Add my respect and my gratefulness that both of you, and your wisdom, are here. You put my own physical difficulties in perspective; I thank you.