www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi
I signed up a while ago, but never posted. So I guess I’ll bite the bullet and make an introduction.
The basis facts.
Male, 48 years old, married with kids, living in Denmark (continental Europe).
Dealing with OAB, and urge IC, and bedwetting, been like this since my late thirties.
When it began my doctor tried basically all medications on my to leased the symptoms, but it never solved the problem 100%, and with the side effects from the medication, I ended up ditching the meds since they didn’t remove my need for protection, and the cost of the medication was for me, just an extra cost with limited benefits.
So I wear protection aka disposable briefs in the daytime, and cloth at night. It has been like this for almost a decade. Wife is understanding, and I’m not getting any comments from her, thankfully. Overall I’m very discreet about my issues meaning no one besides my wife, and obviously our son knows. None at work or any of our friends knows, and I prefer it this way, despite it can sometimes be a bit stressful to hide out. Worry about whether it’s obvious etc. smell and such, even though I don’t need to wear super thick briefs, but can do with medium capacity briefs with a stuffer I still always assess my appearance, can someone tell. I guess many do this self reassessment?
Business trips well I have managed to travel around the world, and I know how to plan for the unexpected….

Feel free to reach out.
Best
Martin.

Hello there.

Welcome to the group. I hope you can share and vent and feel supported. It's good to know we are not alone. I'm super thankful to interact with folks like you. I'm also very discreet about my need for protection, and yes the full length mirror gets a lot of use when I'm planning on leaving the house. Ha!

Have a good one, nice to meet you!

_________________
Thank you kindly,
CG

Add my welcome to CityGardener's. Incontinence is a widespread malady; it affects everybody, from seniors to children, youth, and, yes, middle-agers. I look forward to reading your comments, advice, and insights in future postings.

Add my welcome to the list. It’s always a struggle even after years of thinking you have figured it out. My experience was the same as yours regarding medication and coming to the conclusion that if if still need protection and the efficacy is minimal with nasty side affects, what’s the point.

Also have a supporting wife who has her own OAB issues.

Welcome Martin. The literature is full of "it can be fixed with meds" messages but as you and others have reported, it seldom is 100%, and if not 100%, then what's the point? The cure is worse than the disease in so many cases.

I'm relatively new so to IC thus we have members of all stages of IC here. This forum is a good sounding board and full of advice. Post away.

Welcome Martin this is a safe space to interact share and just vent . I hope you will find a lot of comfort and support in knowing you are not alone. Thank you for joining in and once again welcome.

Paul Henry

Welcome, Martin. It is a pleasure to read an introduction from someone who has coped so well with their incontinence. It is commendable that you have managed so well while in the workplace with international business travel.

--John
(double incontinent)

Add my welcome to those above. My incontienence stems from an accident in 2015. I have a paralyzed neurogenic bladder. It took some tests to figure that out. At first they tried meds but that of course didn’t work. The side effects sucked and I had no benefits. There is no cure for my incontienence and no meds that help. I deal day to day with diapers. It is what it is and most days is the least of my medical problems. I was just in the hospital last week with a staph infection. I’m also an amputee. Life throws us punches and all we can do is deal with them. Feel free to vent as much as you need. We are here.

Thank you all for a warm welcome.
I hate to admit, but I’m struggling still with my IC. Though the whole COVID situation made things easier, working from home with my private bathroom, and thereby easy access.
Well, now things began to normalize, so did the demand to be back in office, though only three days a week.
Now I have to lose the twenty pounds I gained during more than a year on lockdown.

Even though I have been dealing with OAB / IC for almost a decade, I won’t say I’m very experienced, or cope well with the situation, I envy those who have control still. I have learned a few tricks which helps me stay discrete. However it’s a never ending learning curve.

One thing I have learned is the benefit of using toddler diapers size 6, as a stuffer in the adult one. These are easy to dispose off, and they hold a lot, and their wicking is second to none. It keeps smell down too.

I have tried this method, but honestly it never worked for me. My surges were such that the size 6 toddler diaper couldn’t catch it all. Trying to put another stuffer in after that didn’t help as the hourglass section of the main diaper was already saturated. At best, this was prolonging the diaper by one void and so was not economical with the cost of the toddler diaper.

My current method is to use a mircrofiber towel folded in thirds inside the diaper (betterdry works best for me) and this allows effective wicking throughout the diaper and makes sure the diaper is used to fill capacity as opposed to just a section of the diaper before leaks occur. That’s just been my experience