wayne wrote:
I've already commented on this in prior posts and I really don't want to dwell on it. But for posterity, I'll elaborate just a bit more. The situation is difficult for me to describe. She's not given an ultimatum or anything like that. But she's made it clear that she doesn't like briefs (she does have a right to an opinion, after all). Since that time, I have arrived at the conclusion that I don't really need briefs. During the day I use the toilet at home/office and so the tapes just become annoying. I have tried the velcro belted briefs but it's still bit of a nuisance with frequent toilet visits. Away from home is different and so far I am able to get away with Abena Abri-Flex or GoSupreme, sometimes with a booster. Velcro briefs are likely ok for many of my outings, once I get the correct size (I need to use up a package of large that I mistakenly ordered).
I gather from this forum that some/most wives/SO are very accepting or otherwise don't care about what is worn to deal with incontinence. Mine is learning acceptance over time. Lately a few light jokes have been said in the car etc. along the line "well, at least you have that covered". I see that as progress as she is getting used to this. If I keep it a low profile, then she has no complaint. But because I don't have frequent overnight issues, she'd likely react negatively if I started wearing a noisy Forsite to bed. So to make things easier on her, I now wear PJ bottoms so that she doesn't have to look at my protection, whatever I wear.
Every marriage varies according the nature of the people in that couple. Some are lovey-dovey at one extreme and others might have a Roseanne Barr type of attitude. The people can be very different and yet find a common bond. In some respects we are opposites but in other ways we have full agreement.
As far as IC is concerned, I initially kept her abreast of what was going on and how I was solving the issues. When I first learned about my IC I wanted her to understand why I was wearing a diaper, rather than keeping it secret. I was having acceptance issues of my own. But later on, she didn't really want to know -- too much information I guess. Presently, she leaves it up to me to manage the IC the way I see fit. So now, IC information is more on a need to know basis. So if down the road, I need to wear a brief at night, she'll accept it. She'll not like it, any more than the daily protection I wear now. But she'll get used to it.
To summarize, this IC thing has been a big adjustment for us both. I am learning to live with it and so is she. I am learning what products work for me while she is slowly accepting that I need them. Over time, we have both become less embarrassed by this diaper thing. This is something I need to understand, while for her it is something she wished she didn't need to know. In time it will all become old and part of our "new normal".
Your situation will likely be very different since she is accepting you as she found you. Unless she has designs on "fixing you", there should be no problem. Just keep the communication open. How does your GF feel about others knowing about your IC? I assume, this is not an issue but it is a question worth knowing the answer to. I hope this post helps.
I didn't mean to come off as condescending or rude or as if I know what's best for your relationship. It just bugs me when a SO doesn't accept a situation. I really don't know how my GF feels about others knowing about the diapers.
Peace out!
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
