Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Tue Jul 06, 2021 9:25 pm
Patrick and Ellyn,
I really hope I didn't say anything that sounded offensive. My comments about stigma were really about disabilities in general and how folks perceive (often unfairly) people with disabilities.
I really hope I didn't say anything that sounded offensive. My comments about stigma were really about disabilities in general and how folks perceive (often unfairly) people with disabilities.
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Tue Jul 06, 2021 10:03 pm
Not at all offensive.
This site is all about sharing in a positive way and as a way of coping. That’s how I took it and why I shared.
Thank you though! Sharing and caring is what this site is all about.
This site is all about sharing in a positive way and as a way of coping. That’s how I took it and why I shared.
Thank you though! Sharing and caring is what this site is all about.
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Tue Jul 06, 2021 10:32 pm
Ok good! And yes, 1000%!! Sharing the struggle.
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Wed Jul 07, 2021 6:30 am
I was not offended in the least. Sharing is, for me, the heart of this site. I have told the folks here more than I have told my family, and all to the good. Everybody has problems; nobody escapes. But this is a problem we all share, and that sharing is important because it improves our ability to cope, and and offers us the support that we are not alone, that the others who share our challenges understand.
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Wed Jul 07, 2021 8:46 am
Thanks Patrick!
Again, when I vent I don't always know how those words come across. And regardless of my own health issues it doesn't give me any right to be insensitive. (Even inadvertently).
Again, when I vent I don't always know how those words come across. And regardless of my own health issues it doesn't give me any right to be insensitive. (Even inadvertently).
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Thu Jul 08, 2021 2:03 pm
I am back for another run at this issue with you. There is a saying : I have met the enemy. The Enemy is me!
Then we have a famous writing about attitude. Google : attitude Charles Swindoll.
It is almost impossible to grasp at how many (far, FAR too many to even begin to name here) health related issues DWARF urinary incontinence as to those health issues (when, in comparrison with) we would happily ACCEPT our incontinence issue and NOT have these other health challenges.
Where we are going here is working to develop an attitude of gratitude. IF we are grateful, we can't, at the same instant, be ungrateful.
I am 100% percent fully ambulatory. I can go anywhere in the world and do anything I want and need to do. So begin the list with those health issues that confine people to nursing homes or other alternatives. Now work down to cancer, and .. and .. and ..
NO NO NO I am not saying this is easy. It is not easy. It is, and can be, a pain in the rear end. I too am embarrassed at times with it. I'm embarrassed when my wife (accidently on her part) comes into the bedroom or bathroom when I am in the midst of changing myself. NO NO NO I don't advertise it but those closest to me know of it as do my doctors. So far I have never once been embarrassed going through any airline security check in process (and yes I DO fly the world).
And? IF you can (and I think you already have) set you mind to this fact : You are NOT alone with this. That too is a great help for me.
Do you know what a challenge it was when I fell in the Dubai (United Arab Emirates) International Airport in November of 2016 and (with a severely broken left hip) flew (7 hours) to Hong Kong where my Hong Kong Doctor told me how bad the break was and we needed to operate immediately. When I then flew from Hong Kong to Seattle (an 11 hour flight and laid over 3 hours) then flew to Phoenix, Arizona so the Mayo Clinic could replace my hip. NO never once did I take a pain pill or drink alcohol to numb out.
Smiling as I sign off. Now, this instant, things are just fine within my own mind, just as they are.
Then we have a famous writing about attitude. Google : attitude Charles Swindoll.
It is almost impossible to grasp at how many (far, FAR too many to even begin to name here) health related issues DWARF urinary incontinence as to those health issues (when, in comparrison with) we would happily ACCEPT our incontinence issue and NOT have these other health challenges.
Where we are going here is working to develop an attitude of gratitude. IF we are grateful, we can't, at the same instant, be ungrateful.
I am 100% percent fully ambulatory. I can go anywhere in the world and do anything I want and need to do. So begin the list with those health issues that confine people to nursing homes or other alternatives. Now work down to cancer, and .. and .. and ..
NO NO NO I am not saying this is easy. It is not easy. It is, and can be, a pain in the rear end. I too am embarrassed at times with it. I'm embarrassed when my wife (accidently on her part) comes into the bedroom or bathroom when I am in the midst of changing myself. NO NO NO I don't advertise it but those closest to me know of it as do my doctors. So far I have never once been embarrassed going through any airline security check in process (and yes I DO fly the world).
And? IF you can (and I think you already have) set you mind to this fact : You are NOT alone with this. That too is a great help for me.
Do you know what a challenge it was when I fell in the Dubai (United Arab Emirates) International Airport in November of 2016 and (with a severely broken left hip) flew (7 hours) to Hong Kong where my Hong Kong Doctor told me how bad the break was and we needed to operate immediately. When I then flew from Hong Kong to Seattle (an 11 hour flight and laid over 3 hours) then flew to Phoenix, Arizona so the Mayo Clinic could replace my hip. NO never once did I take a pain pill or drink alcohol to numb out.
Smiling as I sign off. Now, this instant, things are just fine within my own mind, just as they are.
Last edited by Tewi on Mon Jul 12, 2021 8:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Fri Jul 09, 2021 12:37 am
Tewi wrote:I am back for another run at this issue with you. There is a saying : I have met the enemy. The Enemy is me! ... NO NO NO I am not saying this is easy. It is not easy. It is, and can be, a pain in the rear end. I too am embarrassed at times with it. ... Do you know what a challenge it was when I fell in the Dubai (United Arab Emirates) International Airport in November of 2016 and (with a severely broken left hip) flew (7 hours) to Hong Kong where my Hong Kong Doctor told me how bad the break was and we needed to operate immediately. When I then flew from Hong Kong to Seattle (an 11 hour flight and laid over 3 hours) then flew to Phoenix, Arizona so the Mayo Clinic could replace my hip. NO never once did I take a pain pill or drink alcohol to numb out. ...
OMGosh! Tewi! WOW! This was a fantastic "realization check"! At times I can have the "poor me" attitude. But then I remember to focus on all the things that I am thankful to my God for: and these things include the category "good" and even the category "bad" (e.g., a major issue with my youngest teenage son that caused major carnage and damage to himself a number of family members but in the end has turned this youth's life around for the better).
Tewi: thank you for reminding me to focus on all the good blessings that I have been bestowed with from above. And allow me to express a *sigh* for your broken hip plight that you suffered. I can only imagine the trauma of that event. Nevertheless, your current/present response to that "challenge" is very admirable!
Thank you for your contribution!
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Sun Aug 22, 2021 3:57 pm
I have other “disabilities” than incontinence. I’m an amputee and I oftentimes cannot use my leg due to the many infections I’ve had. I think I’ve been in my wheelchair more than my prosthetic leg. People (especially kids) stare. Some don’t want to look at me. I oftentimes get thanked for my service (I was never in the military) or get asked if I lost my leg due to diabetes (I didn’t). Most of my issues stem from that one fall down an escalator. I fractured my ankle in 4 places and paralyzed my bladder. I had 7 surgeries to try to repair it and all failed. Then came the amputation. My incontienence started when I came home from the emergency room. I hid it for a long time as best as I can. Buying attends from the medical supply store next to my apartment.
I’d rather have 2 legs and be incontinent If I had to choose. But I didn’t get to choose so I live as a diapered pirate.
I’d rather have 2 legs and be incontinent If I had to choose. But I didn’t get to choose so I live as a diapered pirate.
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Sun Aug 22, 2021 5:55 pm
I'm grateful to have met a diapered pirate such as yourself! 
Re: Not only me that faces the stigma.
Sun Aug 22, 2021 7:06 pm
Without being arrogant or rude, I am proud of how well I manage my medical issues, one of which is incontinence. I live with minimal assistance from my family and friends, rather than depending on them. I vent here, not with them. Well managed medical issues can be sources of quiet pride. So, for that, I thank everyone here.