www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi CharlieP
Welcome to the Board My name is Sandy I'm one of the Moderators on this board. It's always great to here from a New person.

First off you need to stop playing the Blame game. Don't beat yourself up life is to short. What kind of issues are you dealing with? How are you handling your condition. What have you tried/done so far? Give us something to work with. I'm one of the few Females on this site. There are many more men then there are Females on this board. And many of us are veterans to incontinence so your in good hands.

...................Sandy

Hi Sandy.

I will cut a long story short. very short. I was in the Military as of last october.

I had an accident about a year ago which left me unable to hold urine. After several hospital visits mri scan, CT scans, Urologists, Neuro specialist and several visits with the docs in the med centre I was told I have damage to my lower spine. ( they told me which parts I can't remember L1? and s???)

I consider myself very lucky. I am still active and fit, I still work in the same industry and...most of the time...Im "normal". the meds I should take knock me out. and getting used to bulk between my legs has been hard.

I'm still in denial. I hate looking at myself now. I try to keep it descreet at work but thats hard having to get changed etc. I am sooo paranoid about it. The company nurse knows as I had to tell her incase I had an accident etc etc so I now have access to a private washrrom which is good.

I have so much to say but dont want to go on. You all know how i feel.

It's hard I know. My heart truly goes out to you Don't hate yourself You can't help it Don't let it get you down Hey look on the bright side at least it's only number one and not two Maybe you should try dressing it up a little Let your hair down (so to speak) Get some multi colored plastic pants. They will help hide any noise if that is an issue. Also you won't have to look at the diaper so much when you drop your pants I know it's hard to here someone tell you this. But really DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN. There are far worse things in life to worry about or have then incontinence. .....Sandy

thank you for your kind words Sandy. I have a very understanding wife who is being amazing about it. I really do try and look on the bright side.

Im still not happy calling them diapers yet. I dont know, it just doesnt feel right, I know what they are and what there job is but I have 2 small kids one of which is still in diapers and it just doesnt feel right you know...

You are right though, things could be worse, and who knows maybe by some small mirracle my back may get better

Charlie P, from the bottom of my patriotic heart thank you so much for serving this great Country of ours. Please try to know that many of us are proud of your service.

Your accident was not your fault that is why they call it an accident. Being left incontinent due to an injury can be difficult to accept. But please know that you have friends here that know what you are going through and already accept you. You tell us that you have a child still in diapers and that you just don't feel right. Remember you are not a baby and your diapers do not make you a baby nor a weakling or any other demeaning definition there is. In addition diapers do not define you. They are here to help you deal with one of life's many speed bumps. And they afford you the ability t live a fairly normal life.

I will be attending a memorial tomorrow dedicated to the first anniversary of the death of our Son-in-law. Our Dean was killed in action by an IED in Iraq last April 14th. 2009. Please don't view diapers as an end to your live rather a way to move on and live it to the fullest.

JRB.

I don't know what to say, thank you for you supportive words, they mean alot in so many ways.

My thoughts are with you and your family for tomorrow. I have served on operations in Iraq and several tours of Afghanistan and fully understand and sympathise with anyone who in any way has had to endure the cowardly repocutions of IED's. we all have our stories...

again thank you.

Hi Charlie.

I will echo the sentiments and advice of many of the others on here. I can imagine that your occupation makes it especially hard to deal with incontinence. All of us guys try to see ourselves as "macho" and self reliant... losing control of one's bodily functions will certainly put a damper on that.

I have been dealing with daytime incontinence for about 10 years now... and rest assured it does get easier with time. The #1 thing you can do for yourself right now is to stay up-beat and keep a good attitude. We've all been through periods where we put ourselves down because of this... and I think it is especially hard for us younger ones to accept (I'm 25) as we are still at a stage in our lives where the future seems wide open with possibilities and think we can do anything.

Now is a time to be thankful for everything in life that you do have... don't focus on what you've lost... and don't blame yourself. It sounds like you have a wonderful family, which is a lot to be happy about. You can definately keep hold of some hope for things to get better in the future... but you also should realise that you have to live and deal with things in the present. Self acceptance is a big part of that.

_________________
~~PuddleGuy

In 2008, I was overmedicated on psychiatric medication by a careless doctor. I had out of control bipolar disorder and the doctor couldn't bring it under control despite my repeat hospitalizations. He just kept medicating me. My life was in terrible shape. I was incapable of doing anything for myself while I was on this medication regimen. He still kept medicating me with some very heavy duty medications. The doses were above the maximum recommended dosages by the manufacturers. I was in awful shape. I felt like I was being poisoned. My current doctor now thinks that the old doc was killing me. I became incontinent shortly after all this. My doctors think it is because of all this medication. I have since improved and come off most of these meds except for a couple at the recommended dose. My life has improved dramatically. At first it was really hard accepting my incontinence. I was a big tough Marine and under my cammies, I wore diapers. Very embarassing. During PT, I wore pullups. I was being medically retired from the Corps and only worked out with the medically unfit group. My last year in the Marine Corps was fairly easy. I was in and out of the hospital all year for my whole last year of service. I was late for work many times because of my medications, but I could not be disciplined for it. My commanding officer was understanding of my conditions and protected me from others who did not understand. It was very embarassing to wear diapers under my military uniform. But I managed to keep it a secret. The one time I was found out was by two coworkers who brought me clothes when I was in the hospital. My wife was out of town and two friends I worked with went in my house, and my closet where I kept my diapers, and got me clothes. The found all my supplies. I asked them not to tell and explained my condition. They were very understanding. The never told to this day or judged me. I was so grateful for their friendship. I am really grateful that I lived through all this and my life has improved. It has taught me to appreciate life and enjoy all the good things I have around me. I feel so lucky despite my incontinence. After all this, incontinence is not that bad! The diapers allow me to live a full, active, and healthy life. I am grateful for them. I agree, it is gross to have urinary and bowel incontinence like I do, but it is manageable with the right product. I find the Abena products suit my needs very well. It just takes some getting used to. I am no longer depressed about it and have moved on with my life. It didn't take long after living through all that.

[quote="johnstone"]There are so many different types of incontinence that I'm not sure I will ever know what causes many of them. I guess the bottom line is always do what you feel works best for you and your situation. If you are comfortable living in the bathroom then so be it. It goes without saying, incontinence affects people in many different ways. Speaking for myself, I don't worry if I'm going to make it to the bathroom any more. I really don't even try any more. Even when I did try most the time I never made it. Now, I just let whatever is going to happen happen and change about every 6 hours in the day. Call it anything you want, but life is much easier since I made that adjustment. [/quote]
you are so totally right

I'm sure there are many others that feel the same way. I just think there is more to life than worrying about my incontinence. It doesn't bother me any more.......I've moved on with life.