www.incontinentsupport.org

I know it's been a long time sense I have posted anything and I was tempted to share in the thread of no diaper hospitals but....well, I just kept putting it off. Anyway, I wanted to share an experience I had this past summer. I'll go ahead and apologize now, this will be a bit of a long story. I'll try to trim fat when I can and if anyone has any questions you can ask here or just PM me.


I had some issues with depression that lead to some thoughts of hurting myself and I ended up committing myself. I spent about 10 days in the hospital and having to manage my incontinence there, I had to do a lot of swallowing of my pride.
The first thing was because it was a secured area in the ER for the safety of all the patients, I had to remove anything that could be used to hurt myself or to hide any drugs. I had to take off my shoes, pants, belt and pretty much everything except my brief. I was watched while I undressed and if I was there for substance abuse I would have had to remove the brief too. I was given a hospital gown and a pair of paper scrubs and shown to my room. Any time I needed to change, I had to call for a nurse and have her bring me one of the Dry 24/7s I had brought.
About 12 hours later, they found me a bed in a neighboring hospital because I requested not to be at my local hospital because I knew a lot of the EMS workers and ER staff. They had a special behavioural health van transport me and because it was specifically for behavioural health I had to be in a secure vehicle. Basically it was a minivan that had one of those plexiglass dividers like in police cars to make sure the driver was safe.

I got to the hospital and they took all my belongings and secured them away and had me go to another room with two of the staff members. Unfortunately for me, both were female and again I was asked to remove all my clothes. One of them asked me what size I was and got me a tee shirt, a pair of pajama bottoms and a cheap pair of underwear that I was to wear till my own underwear could be washed and checked. (Obviously they assumed I wore regular underwear). Before I began to undress I had to swallow my pride again and tell them I was incontinent and had on a diaper. I asked them if I could leave it on and they said due to security and safety I would need to remove it too. The did give me a cheap hospital pull on and asked if that would be ok and I told them only for an hour or so. They said that would give them time to go through the diapers I brought and make sure those were ok.
I then finished being searched and was moved to the area with the other patients. After about an hour and it being cleared by the head nurse on shift I was given one diaper to change into. I went to my assigned room thinking I would have privacy to change just to see there was a camera in my room. The only place I felt I could change was standing against the wall directly under the camera. (I later learned what the field of view was for the camera by leaving stuff on the floor under the camera and looking at the monitors that you could see from outside the nurses station)
For the first 5 or 6 days I had to find a nurse and ask for a diaper to change into. It was by far the most humiliating situation I had ever had to be in. After about that 6th day one of the nursing assistants I had gotten to know could see how upset it was making me and would give me enough so I would only need to ask once a day.
Only other issues I had was because of the bladder disease I have, I have to use a catheter each night before bed to put medicine directly into my bladder. Most of the time the nurse would mix up my meds, and put everything into a paper bag and let me go to my room to cath myself. Then I would bring them back the trash to throw away. There was one nurse that was a big time stickler for the rules and would bring me the supplies and would have to watch me administer the medicine and then collect things as I was done. This was the same charge nurse that one night I had to ask for a diaper so I could shower before bed and was not going to let me have one of mine because it was not allowed. She wanted to give me a pull on and I had to explain that a pull on would not work for me to stay dry in bed. She called her supervisor and she was told to just give me a maturity pad to put in the pull on. She later saw my dilemma and because the other shifts had been letting me use my own she gave me one of mine. I think it was the next day the nursing assistant I got to know started to give me a days worth of diapers so I would not have to deal with that lady. She actually got pretty mad when I told her about the maturity pad and she said, "some people are f%*king stupid!"
Only other issues I had was because all I had to cover diaper was pajama bottoms, I was really anxious that people could hear the plastic of the diaper. I tried my best to just not be really close to the other patients even though most of the time I didn't have much of a choice

Rope, thanks for providing us with an update. I've been thinking about you. I think very highly of you, and I'm sorry that you haven't been in a good place. I'm relieved to hear that you made the decision to get the help you needed. I hope you're doing much better now. I'm sorry that you had to deal with the bureaucratic protocol regarding your diapers, especially in addition to being in crisis. Please know that you don't need to apologize to anyone for anything, i.e., needing and getting help.

Best regards always,
Wetters

I suspected that something untoward was happening when you left the site managers. I hope you have gotten the assistance you needed and are on the mend. Mental health issues can be devastating; when they are accompanied by incontinence, and the hospital staff are unsympathetic, the situation can be far worse. Glad, and relieved, to have you back.

Rope, it is good to hear that you made a decision to cope with a problem and get better. You have been through a very stressful situation. I always am available for a PM

--John

Well, my friend, I truly hope things are going better for you and that you are finding some peace. I have been thinking of you a lot over the last several weeks and am grateful for the update. I'm sorry you have been in a dark place, but glad you are getting help and, hopefully, some resolution.

_________________
"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Thank you to everyone that has replied so far. Good to know I haven't fallen THAT far off the radar. I do have to be honest that the incontinence played a huge part of my depression. There has been a lot of changes in how I cope with it all.

Rope,
I just wanted to tell you, you are not alone. I too have had my share of hospitalizations. I have bipolar disorder and sometimes it gets to me. I have been in anywhere from 4 days to 10 days. They were all voluntary. I have gone in through the ER several times but I prefer to see my psychiatrist and do an admit if necessary that way. It’s a lot less stressful. My psychiatrist works for a large hospital that has a nice behavioral health unit. So I go there. I’ve been in some not so good places though. The VA was the worst. I avoid them. I’m sad to say that I’ve done it so many times that I’m used to the skin checks. When I disrobe the nurse generally takes a look and always comments on the diapers. I just tell her briefly about my condition and why I wear them. That usually ends it. They usually only give me a few at a time too. That’s everywhere I’ve been. They control everything. I find it helpful to see a therapist for my chronic health conditions. Gives me somebody to vent to. I generally get good feedback and feel better after my session.

Glad to hear you are doing better and decided to seek help knowing the incontinence would be a big challenge. Also, glad that you had some understanding nurses who know what was best for you.

I'm glad things are going forward. You have given me much appreciated advice in regards to my incontinence, and the embarrassment associated with it. It has helped, although, I as many of us here have those issues surface at times. As my father in law once said, "keep it steady, and straight ahead". Not sure if that is a completely accurate statement, but close.

Rope,

First,... and most importantly, I, like many others in this forum are glad to hear from you, and want to let you know you are among friends,... good friends in this forum so please don't hesitate the next time you're on the fence about making a post,...just do it. "WE" look forward to hearing from you.

Glad to hear your out of the hospital. The smart thing was knowing when you needed help. :>) I used to have a close friend with mental health issues. We were good friends for a long time and during the course of our friendship I learned a lot about his struggles with the MANY ups and downs that he endured. He is still very active and as far as I know, with the support of some very key people in his life he is doing very well. We are not the close friends we once were. I think his illness was a major force that came between our friendship so we have drifted apart over the years. I'm just glad to know he is doing better and spends lots of time with his young family which keeps him busy.

I don't know anything about your situation, and I am NOT asking, but ALWAYS remember, you have friends that care. I know nothing about your family, and I am NOT asking, but you are among GOOD friends in this forum so never think no one cares,....."we" do, Stronger words to follow!

Thank you for sharing your story. Everyone here makes a difference in some way, so please make more posts and share your thoughts.