www.incontinentsupport.org

The last two days have been a bit a roller coaster with my incontinence. I met a colleague at a coffee shop today to map out a research article we are writing together. I’ve had a bumpy week in terms of accidents, so I brought my standard backpack with extra diapers, wipes, and disposable bags. I was actually going to tell my colleague (who is also a close friend) about my accidents so as to head off any concern when I took my backpack to the bathroom with me. However, although my diaper was wet, it never felt like I was in danger of a leak so I didn’t need to change and therefore didn’t tell her about my incontinence, at least for now.

The meeting went great, super productive, but things went down hill as I started to head home. When I got to my car, I started to feel a rumble in my stomach that signaled that I needed a bathroom (and fast). I’ve got dumping syndrome so I am usually very in tune with my bowel habits, however coffee on an empty stomach was apparently not a good idea for me. I made it all the way to a place where I could use the restroom, but as I walking to the toilet, I couldn’t hold it any longer and I felt that dreaded feeling of an involuntary bowel movement Not wanting to ruin my clothes (they were my only set), I waited until I was sure the bowel movement was done (which felt like forever) and then started the arduous task of changing and cleaning up. Bowel accidents are relatively rare for me (maybe one or two every couple of months, more when my IBS flares up), but when they do happen, I remember how terrible they are. I’ve mostly gotten used to wearing a diaper for my urinary problems, but poop is different. Those that have regular bowel incontinence issues and maintain relatively active lives are seriously impressive.

After I finally finished cleaning myself up, got into a new diaper, and was about to get back on the road, I flooded the new diaper After confirming that the diaper did it’s job, I continued home. It served as a reminder to me that life with incontinence is unpredictable. Some days incontinence is manageable and some days it’s pretty overwhelming. An analogy for life in general I guess. Despite the rough day, I was thankful that I was wearing adequate protection. Not always a cake walk to have to wear diapers, but when you need them, it’s better to be wearing one than not. This community is a great place to come and remember that I’m not alone in this. It’s a shared struggle and I’m sure many of you have had similar (or perhaps worse) days. Hoping tomorrow is better. Fingers crossed. I hope you’re all having a good week.

- Dallas

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"It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
- Rose Kennedy

Dallas,

Your account of your challenging day is all too familiar. Although I do not have IBS, I do have a paralyzed GI system, which is similar in too many ways. Knowing the locations of all the handicapped restrooms on your usual haunts, and keeping a well-stocked diaper/gym bag handy when out and about are critical skills. Diapers enable us to function in society; without them we would be housebound. Congratulations on managing your difficult day successfully.

Patrick, a paralyzed GI tract sounds like it would extremely be challenging and produce many of the kind of days I had yesterday. Digestive illnesses are awful, but we do what we must to manage. My office at work is right next to a handicapped restroom thankfully, and then there are several others on campus if those are occupied (The university has list of single person restrooms and where to find them). It’s never fun to change after a bowel accident but you’re so right that those types of restrooms make the situation a bit less traumatizing. I’ve only had a bowel accident once or twice while at work, but I already keep a well stocked “go bag” (gym bag that holds all of supplies: gloves, wipes, extra diapers, disposable bags, talcum powder, etc.). You’re absolutely right that it’s essential.

Although, my bowel incontinence is rarer in comparison to my urinary incontinence, it does seem to be becoming a more frequent thing Perhaps I should start becoming better prepared for situations like yesterday. I know there’s a separate board on here that probably has a ton of advice, I’ll check it out. Have a great day, Patrick. I know we’ll both keep fighting the good fight.

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"It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
- Rose Kennedy

I get where you're coming from Though I've been seeing some improvement in my urinary IC lately, my bowel issues continue. This morning was a bit awkward. My BMs occur almost every morning like clockwork, so I try to not schedule anything early. This AM I was sitting out back, having my first cup of coffee when I got a call that the cable guy was at my business (when they say between 8 & noon, what are the odds it would be 8:08???). Anyway, I went and let him in and kept my fingers crossed that the inevitable would hold off until he left. It didn't! Mid-sentence, while answering his questions, it started, so I casually moved behind the counter, hoping he didn't smell anything. Luckily, he finished up and left within a couple minutes and I don't think he noticed, but still...

Hope all is well with you @Dallas, and that your research is going well.

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

I have dumping syndrome too - an unfortunate side effect of GERD surgery.

Yes, it is quite unfortunate. Mine developed after I had my gallbladder removed. That plus my IBS (which I’ve had for quite a while) make for some rough days/weeks sometimes

_________________
"It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
- Rose Kennedy

Bugles, sounds like you had a heck of a day as well. As embarrassing as it is to have a bowel accident, I guess it could always be worse. I’ve run into similar situations to the one you described where I’ve had to make a quick exit from a lecture because I’d had an accident. Nothing to do but be thankful that I was wearing protection and move on with the day. Thanks for the well wishes! I just completed my PhD and I landed a job as a visiting Assistant Professor. Still teaching and doing my research, but it feels nice to finally be done with school! I hope you’re doing good as well.

_________________
"It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
- Rose Kennedy

Dallas, Congratulations and the best of luck on the job!

Bowel accidents are the pits. However, they are called accidents for good reasons. I have had bowel accidents in places too numerous to mention, and have been forced to rely on my diapers and internal deodorants. Folks riding in the car with me, family standing beside me, and strangers in crowds have not yet given me an indication that they knew what was happening. In each situation my protection has given me precious extra minutes to find a place to wash and change.