www.incontinentsupport.org

This was published in major newspaper and has been quoted many times by medical professionals who feel diaper companies are "enabling" incontinence by making people feel like it's ok/normal to use pads/diapers instead of seeking treatment...

Women with incontinence, she said, "often just don't seek care. They think there's nothing to do. … 'I'm watching all these ads about pads. That's what I have to do.' "

Specifically, they often refer to leaks after childbirth and/or menopause...and women stating that they use pads instead of talking to their doctor about it because they feel it's inevitable to have leaks and just manage it.

Surveys have shown that at 66% of women with leaks do not discuss it with their primary or gynecologist, or severely minimize it. Do these diaper ads like Depend Silhouette or Always Discreet that show active people wearing discreet underwear make people think that's the only solution?

I know for many there were many other reasons to delay speaking with a doctor. I'm really trying to find out if anyone managed with pads or underwear for a while and didn't discuss with doctor solely because they were unaware these leaks could sometimes alleviated if disclosed to a doctor.

Even if you had other reasons to hold back, did anyone still use this as the excuse they told their doctor or gynecologist for delaying coming forward.

Thanks very much for your input!

i think your right in a lot of ways I'm not a good person to talk to my incontinence has been a life long problem. I've always had issues basically my bladder never developed as i grew up. the doctors all new my issue growing up so its well documented in my medical records There is still a huge problem coming out about bladder issues many of the drugs have
more side effects then what the issue is So i think that alone keeps people padded I think men as well should be included in this. Being a big strong male with a bladder issue would be more humiliating then being a women wearing a pad. We are known for wearing pads.

what gets me is when diaper companies look for a cure? doesn't that sorta go against your profit margin?

While I don't have anything to contribute personally (obviously), I do know that my wife has spoken with her primary doctor (a woman) and was told that "it's normal, it happens after childbirth, etc." and "welcome to your 50's." Her doctor did advise kegels, but nothing more than that, so she has been using pads for years now.

It's an interesting question/topic. She has been having leaks and what I would describe as urge incontinence for years, but has never seen a urologist. On the other hand, when I started having issues a few years ago, she is the one who pushed me to go the doctor and see what was wrong.

_________________
"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

I suffered a lot of punishment, shaming, humiliation, shunning, frustration, anger..... as a child and early teen. It wasn’t until my early/mid teens that I actually had a diagnosis and vindication regarding my birth defect involving the nerves that sense a full bladder and ability to restrict the flow. I was also abused as a young child and at one point, thrown through a closed window to the ground below. Then there was the emotional damage that preceeded and followed... I was “damaged” in many ways so it was no wonder that I had issues with accidents as a pre-teen. Finally though, during a checkup at my first gynecologist visit, he decided to do tests and ultimately found the damage that they called a birth defect.... I’m still not completely convinced that it wasn’t from the abuse.
After my parents divorced, money was very limited so medical care was also somewhat limited, as were products that would have made my leakage issues less noticeable. There was much less interaction and socializing as a teen girl, which likely affected my social development.
High school, college, career, marriage, two wonderful boys later, more tests, more drugs, more side effects with only slight improvement, decided to skip the drugs, the tests, and simply accept the situation and enjoy life!!
Now, with that, I have ups and downs, like everyone else in the world. Unfortunately, my downs usually involve flooding and loss of the little control I usually have, then the highs again! The problem is that as time passes, the regaining of the little control becomes slightly less... it’s like a ball that bounces, each time bouncing less high. I suspect there will be a time when I’ll be completely incontinent, which for me is depressing. There again, it likely won’t affect my routine and day anyway as I’m in diapers, pads, pull-ups, and combinations now anyway, 24/7.
I wear double cloth at night because they next to never leak. I often wear cloth during the day when I can because for me, they are more comfortable, especially if I’m outside in Texas heat. I wear a sundress and no one is aware (I believe) that I’m thickly diapered. On the other hand, a cloth diaper is the essence of loss of control of your body function as you are more aware of being diapered. Though more comfortable, there’s the bulk between your legs that, even though more comfortable than disposables, reminds me of my brokenness...
That’s when I need to get out of my funk by mixing it up a little. Usually writing here makes me feel better. I ramble, but I guess therapeutic for me and maybe,just maybe might help someone here who feels a little down...

Adam

I hope you as well as the women of this group are not offended that I am chiming in on this, but something else occurred to me as I thought about this post. Of the few people (family members and close friends) who know of my situation, the majority are women. While all have been understanding, the women have been better able to relate than the men. The reason? Every single one of them commented along the lines of, "it happens to women all the time, especially after kids. Welcome to our world." I didn't ask if they had sought medical advice, as they all gave the impression that it was normal and natural for women to develop urinary incon issues. A couple even offered to help me find the right products to use!


Whether it is due to the aggressive advertising and marketing of pads or not I can't say, but it seems, at least from the women I have spoken with, that it is just an accepted part of life.


On a side note about marketing - A few years ago my wife's issues increased for a short time. She sent me to the pharmacy to get her some "Depends pads. You know, the really absorbant ones." So off I went, returning with a package of Depends Protection with Tabs. This, as is my luck, was NOT what she wanted. Turns out she wanted Poise pads but said Depends, probably because of the aggressive marketing that put the name in her mind. Ironically, it was only a few months later that my issues began in earnest and I would make the same trip to the drugstore and buy my first pack of Depends, and all I will say about that is THANK YOU for MegaMaxx!

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

I understand that I am of the wrong gender to participate in this discussion.

If incontinence is a common symptom following childbirth, it is also common among males whose prostates begin to act up at a certain age. As we individually and corporately as a society begin to deal realistically with this, I'm sure that we will discover that incontinence is far more common than earlier studies had indicated. How this will influence medical care and product advertisements is yet to be determined. Diapers are only one among several modalities useful for management; however, for many of us, they are the best.

I look forward to all the input that others, of both genders, offer.

Adam
Thank you for the response. Your person did include two different samples of boosters in my last order. They were both the contour style one was lighter the other heavier. I tried both wasn't overly impressed. Best boosters Ive ever found are the Tranquility boosters with the peach matt> For what
ever reason when I wear thoes they always make me feel more dry even when i know I'm rather wet in my diaper. when i tried yours they worked all right as a booster but i always felt very wet. Which is sorta interesting because your Magamax Diapers by themselves I often feel fairly comfortable in even when wet front to back
................................Sandy

Back to topic....
I don’t avoid talking to MDs about my leakage because of diaper ads... If I’m there for a medical reason concerning my incontinence, I want a meaningful dialogue and effective treatment within the realm of my expectations. That means that unless they can convince me to deviate from my choices that I made about medications, side effects, quality of life, surgical procedures, or other treatment, I will remain in incontinence products that address the leakage issues and keep me comfortable.
Now, with that, am I anxious to disclose my condition and the need to wear products that keep me comfortable and socially acceptable - to blend in and look and act like everyone else to avoid suspicion and prying questions? No, not really. My close family knows. A few friends know. My doctors and other medical staff knows. I can’t think of anyone else, but likely a few more.
Now, again, with that, there’s a freedom in letting lose here in discussing of my personal and intimate issues. I am effectively unknown, other than my login name. There’s no need to lie or hide details when I’m among friends here! It’s very liberating and for me a way of dealing with depression.
I am aware of MANY women who have some degree of urinary leakage, either directly or indirectly. Most manage their minor leakage with pads in their underwear. Some that I know wear drug store diapers at night. If I had to guess, I’d say that women outnumber men two to one, maybe more with some form of incontinence. Again, their leakage issues are relatively minor but still a large number, just from those I personally know.
My question is why more women aren’t on forums like this one, discussing their issues? Maybe because their issues don’t consume as much of their life like it does many here. Yet, these women are effectively incontinent to some degree and could gain perspective and information here, as well as emotional support that they may be lacking.... Many are embarrassed by the leakage issues I suppose, which may keep some from discussing their problems(?). If more “came out” to a group like this full on nonjudgmental participants, they might ultimately gain perspective, information, and maybe feel better about their life.
Just sayin...