www.incontinentsupport.org

So as I've mentioned, I'm a newbie here. Urge incontinence/OAB started a month ago for me. When the flow starts, there is no stopping it. Even if the amount of urine in small. I've been managing with Always Discreet Maximum Long Length pads. But today they failed me. Luckily I was alone in my kitchen. But it leaked on the sides even though there was very little fluid...they just didn't hold up. Can anyone suggest good quality pads that won't let me down? I'm not ready to get diapered up yet and really the amounts I leak are small so Always Discreet sucks. A winged pad would be awesome so I don't leak out the sides but I've only found period pads designed that way.

Please Help!!! I have a lot of upcoming plans and don't want an accident.

Also I should mention for sizing I'm a slim female. I see on the XP Medical site a lot of different sizes of pads if anyone can provide insight. Are their pads any good? And what size should I try? These things are expensive. Would love your opinions before I spend the cash! I really value your opinions.

I hate to say this, but it sounds like you might benefit more from the pullup. As I've stated elsewhere, wearing a pad instead of a pullup or diaper doesn't make you not incontinent. The choice of a pad over a pullup or tabbed diaper is a personal one. Personally i never found male guards useful. Even if my incontinence was light, (which it was but now its full on floods at times), they never stayed put. I went from pads to undergarments, to pullups to briefs. in your case, id recommend a light duty pullup such as always discreet underwear or Tena or attends underwear, for theadded leak guards. Yes, even though they say max absorbency, any pullup other than Northshore care, Abena or seni can be considered light. Often times the manufacturer's absorbency claims are skewed because of their testing methods.

I hope this helps

As for the pads, you may want to try the Midi pads and the fixing pants. I tried the Super pads with regular underwear and they didn't stay put.
Any other questions just ask! Your'e not alone.
Peace out!

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

I have to agree with sociologygeek: pads can have just the issues you describe while pull ups can be more effective in containing accidents. When I switched to briefs/pullups/diapers or whatever you want to call them, security for keeping dry went up a lot. This is even though the pads are pretty much rated the same as briefs for containing bladder leakage. Briefs are better designed. Don't worry about going to "diapers", instead, control your incontinence so you can enjoy life. For me, wearing briefs is a necessity as my incontinence has slowly gotten worse but this has worked out well in every way.

A good quality pullup will work better then a pad that can shift and leak at any time, but you really may want to consider a full taped diaper they fit better and stay in place and are more absorbant then pads or pullups and will give you the confidence that they will do job.

OAB and urge incontinence can cause the bladder to release a full bladder with out warning pads definitely will not handle that about of volume all at once neither will most pullups, we have all gone through the trial and errors of starting out with guards then pullups only to find taped diapers work the best for OAB / Urge incontinence. as sociologygeek recommended try a good quality Pull Up but be prepared for leaks and the eventuality of having to switch to a premium taped diaper.

When we recommend full diapers vrs pads or pullups we are just trying to save you from experiencing the leaks and failures we have gone through in the past I have had a pullup fail in a big way in public setting when it could not handle the sudden volume of a unexpected full bladder release I switched to taped diapers afterwards but it took a very imbaressing protection failure to convince me to switch.

What he said.

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Also, just because you are wearing tabbed style does ABSOLUTELY NOT mean you can't use the toilet. With cloth backed products, the have velcro tabs and it is real easy to undo one side to drop it down to use the toilet. With plastic backed, I have mastered the "Diaper wiggle." I have worn 24/7 for several years and can count on one hand the disposable brands ive used in poly back that made toileting difficult. Confidry used to fall into that category, but they have improved their tape design.

I hope this gives you reassurance that if you do have to resort to tabbed diapers, its ok. Just think of it as underwear that goes on differently. Thats ALL that any of these products bigger than a pad are.

I have come to the conclusion that diaper stigma is totally unnecessary. Our culture has made it taboo for anyone but babies and old people to wear diapers. But guess what? People of all ages wear them. Another thing i hate is how age is considered in how incontinence affects an individual. Why should the fact im 35 be significant versus someone who is 65? I would think that the emotional impact and skin impact of leakage is the same, regardless of activity level. It only has to do with the totally untrue sterotype of incontinence affecting the elderly. Also untrue is the stereotype of incontinence being inevitable. I'm sure there are people in their 80s and 90s that can still wear regular underwear. Adult diapers are not for just 60 + year old folks. Last time I checked, you dont have to show ID while buying depends.

I know that the stigma of incontinence is very real, but the sooner you can come to terms of having to wear protection that works, the better off your life will be. I was where you are now. I didn't want to go with the full diaper, but once I accepted thats what I needed and started using it, life got SO much better! I was in denial of my incotnience for years and putting up with wet underwear to avoid buying pads. I REFUSE to do that anymore.

Peace out!

Rob

PS.. NO ONE can tell what you are wearing except you if you do it correctly.

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Thank you all so much for your input! This site is a Godsend.

Socio, You mentioned Midi pads. Are you referring to Abena Abri-San Premium Incontinence Pads, Size 5 - Midi? Are there any sites where I can order samples first before a full case?

I'm going to consider switching to pullups if these pads don't work for me. The stigma is really hard to get over. Not to mention what loved ones will think of me. My husband is going to be in for a real unpleasant surprise if he sees me in pull ups suddenly. But you're right, it's not worth it if the pads ultimately fail. It's a shame they they can't design a more reliable product. I think wings would really improve leakage protection from the sides but for some reason I don't see incontinence pads with wings available.

Thanks again everybody!

Yes, I am. You can get a sample from XP Medical. If you have not used XP Medical I HIGHLY recommend them. They were founded by an incontinent indiviudal, and while he is no longer the president, his legacy is well preserved. The new owners are well connected to caregivers of incontinent individuals so firsthand knowledge remains. They are very helpful and easy to work with and they ship fast. You can find the phone number on the website. http://www.xpmedical.com.

And youre so welcome for the help. We have been where you are now, and if we can help just one person avoid pitfalls, well that's what we want to do!

As far as your husband, if he really loves you, it will be a non issue. If he does have an issue, honestly hes not worth your time. Period. As for everyone else, if you wear the right product and dress correctly, NO ONE will know.

Peace out!
Rob

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

You sounds like a good candidate for the NorthShore DynaDry Supreme Pads. They're similar to Abena Midi 5, but maybe even a little larger and do have stand up leak guards. There are two sizes currently available and two more even larger sizes coming in October.

They can be found at https://www.northshorecare.com/diapers/ ... -pads.html

Also, NorthShore can send out free samples upon request. Just contact customer service via email, chat, phone, text or FB Messenger.