www.incontinentsupport.org

Off topic question that might be a little controversial. I have a problem. Schoppy feel free to delete this if needed. But I’m kinda out of options. Here’s my issue:

I drink a lot of water due to my lithium therapy for my bipolar disorder. With this medication, dehydration is the enemy. With dehydration, my lithium levels could go dangerously high and lead to a fatal event. This is not being dramatic, it is very real and I experienced it first hand. It makes me very thirsty. I have nerve damage in my pelvic floor and have no bladder of bowel control. I suffer from OAB and chronic diarrhea leading to incontinence. My bowels are very active in the morning. I suffer from very heavy enuresis. So far, no diaper has been able to withstand what my body puts out at night. Many people’s bladder function slows at night. Not mine. I wet myself repeatedly in my sleep. I have tried Abena M4, Molicare Super Plus, Dry 24/7, etc. All with Abena abri-let boosters. I’ve tried double diapering with a slit down interior middle, and nothing. I still wake up soaked in urine. I sleep on a mattress protector. I’m miserable, depressed, and desperate to try anything. I’ve tried DDAVP, Detrol, Enablex, Vessicare, etc. Nothing. Made me constipated but didn’t slow it down. Not sure what else to do. I’m not a candidate for bladder surgery. Here’s the controversial part.

I was looking on XPmedical’s website a couple days ago and saw the Rearz inspire. I saw the absorbency so I did a little digging. I had never heard of Rearz. So I went to their site and learned what they were about. It quickly became apparent. I’m not really into such things but with my situation, I have an open mind. I found upgrades with much more absorbency than the Abena’s I currently buy. From what I read (I also called the company), the Rebel holds roughly 4800mL or about 20 cups of fluid. That’s a lot compared with Abena X-plus which only holds around 3800mL. When I called the company, they were very nice. I described my situation to the guy on the phone who understood my medical need for such things. He told me that if I max out this diaper, I’ve got serious problems. I’m just tired of waking up wet. It makes me sad. They are expensive though. The rebel’s do not have a childish pattern on them. If they work, I can live with it. Nobody will see them except my wife. I showed my mother, who is a nurse, a picture of them and she offered to buy them for me. I am disabled and do not work. It’s just really getting to me and I don’t know what else to do. Yes, I know the diapers are for an alternative lifestyle but if they solve my problem and my bed stays dry, then hey. The guy on the phone said they are very thick. Not very inconspicuous so don’t wear them in public. I have no intention to. I read the reviews on Amazon and people said they were noisy (I found Confidry to be exceptionally noisy). Several users said if you wear them in public, you’d be caught. So I would only wear them to bed and save my Abena’s I get from the VA for daytime. So I bought some. They’ll be at my house Friday. I just hope they solve my problem or it’s all for naught. So what would you do in my situation? I’ve had to potentially resort to using such products as they offer more sbsorbency. Yes, I will still add a booster just to be safe. I’m just trying to wake up dry.

Also, I’m having a total thyroidectomy in May. I’ll be in surgery for several hours. I expressed to my surgeon to please do not place a catheter. I told her of my incontinence. Bowel too. She wasn’t too worried and agreed to the diaper. She said it wasn’t a problem. I didn’t want to have a bowel movement asleep on the operating table. I’d be mortified. During a previous surgery, I urinated during the procedure. No catheter...no diaper. The nurse told me so. It upset me. I have Abena’s I could wear but they leak in my sleep. I don’t want to make a mess for the surgeon. If the Rearz diaper works out and I stay dry...should I wear that one to surgery? Yes, it does have a pattern. But, it doesn’t remind me of something childish. It’s skulls and crossbones. So, again, sorry for being long winded, but I’m kind of out of options. Conventional medical diapers, even the most absorbent ones on the market, have let me down. Again, what should I do. Hoping to get some constructive replies.

Don, if it works, use it. We all appear a bit different than others because of our diapers- so what? Try the Rearz and see how they work for you. Then make up your mind about them.

You may also want to try cloth diapers for night time use. They can be adjusted to meet a very wide range of absorbency needs.

_________________
- Tom

Don, once again you are not alone in this. The important thing is to find what helps you to manage your incontinence. Kudos for experimenting.

Several of us here wear what I will call superabsorbent "specialty" diapers either for special occasions or at night. Also, I have a friend in the medical profession who wears them to work daily as he has so few opportunities to change between patients.

I have found the ABU Simple (the plain white version of the ABU Space diaper) to be very effective. The absorbency is almost the same as the Rearz Inspire. Do note that, due to the higher price of these diapers, I highly recommend that you buy them by the case for the additional savings. The ABU Simple can be purchased by the case of 80 at $1.68 per diaper.

Sometimes the vendors will run out of stock on these diapers. If that happens, go ahead and buy the printed version that performs exactly the same as the plain white shell. After all, no one but your wife will see your underwear.

You may find that, if you wear jeans or other trousers in a larger size and a slightly looser fit, you will have not problem wearing thick diapers in public. I do this routinely. No one has ever noticed (as far as I can tell).

Another alternative, and possibly less expensive, option is to use a more absorbent booster pads in a premium diaper, such as Dry 24/7.

However, as Wetdad mentioned, the best alternative for night is to wear cloth diapers. Once you learn how to fold and pin them they are optimized to fit your personal shape and very unlikely to leak. I think I leak about every four months and that is because I made a mistake in putting on the cloth diaper.

Best wishes,
--John

John and Wetdad,
I tried cloth. I experimented with both the day weight and night weight with soaker strip of cloth pull ons from driwear/Fetware. The VA bought them for me. I used a pul cover over them. They leaked too. I also tried cloth flats with pins and plastic pants. I couldn’t figure that out at all. I had trouble with the pins because my hands shake from a moderate tremor. I have trouble grasping certain things. I also formerly used the confidry. With booster. I had problems with leaking out the leg holes. Maybe it was my body shape I dunno. I wear medium diapers and have a 36” waist. I still don’t know what I’m going to do about surgery though. I don’t want it to appear “odd”. As far as pants go, I live in Florida. It’s really hot here in the summer. I requently wear shorts and flip flops and lightweight T’s. Due to my nerve damage, I don’t sweat. I have to stay as cool as possible as heat related illnesses effect me especially so. So I usually wear something like thin board shorts which aren’t the best at concealing diapers. But I have to adapt and keep cool. Or bad things can happen to me.

I have also used the Rearz InControl diaper, and it is white...no juvenile designs. They are thick, but I have worn them in public. So far, no one has noticed. If anyone has, they have been mature enough to understand and haven't starred at me. They are a bit expensive, but are balanced off a little with fewer changes. I have used the ABUniverse and Bambino diapers also. They too, can be purchased as an all white diaper which is what I do. I highly recommend any of these products. They are absorbent and comfortable.

Don:
I'm a bit surprised that nobody has mentioned the Better Dry diaper. It is one of, if not the most absorbent diaper on the market and has the highest leak guards. Although it sounds like this too wouldn't be enough protection for you at night so I would recommend adding a heavy weight cotton booster or a folded flat cotton baby diaper to the inside and outside of the Better Dry diaper. This should help distribute the urine to all parts of the diaper. Top it all off with a large PUL pant and of course make sure you are sleeping on a large washable bed pad. It will be bulky for sure but at least it shouldn't leak. That failing it sounds like you'd have no other choice but to go with some sort of catheter. From your earlier post it sounds like you don't like catheters but they do work for a lot of people and they may even be covered by the VA. Finally it sounds like you are concerned about others realizing that you have to wear diapers and although I do understand this 99.9+% of people would never notice you are wearing a diaper and even if they did there should be no shame. It's really no different than needing to wear eyeglasses or using a cane. If someone does notice your diaper it's been my experience that they have been understanding so no big deal again. I hope this helps and keep us informed of your situation, we're here to help.

I’m 35. I do wear glasses AND use a cane for mobility issues. During the day, I use my Abena M-4’s with boosters. My wife told me you CAN tell with some of my clothes. Especially my lightweight athletic clothing. If we are doing a lot of outdoor activities and it’s hot then I’ll wear lightweight dry fit clothing. I’ve seen what I look like in the mirror with this clothing and when I walk I know you can tell. But it’s a health issue. In the heat I can’t do much about it. Heavy clothing is not an option. Either way, nobody has ever said anything. Now when I was wearing dry 24/7’s, people could hear those. My dentist remarked how it sounded like I had candy in my pocket. Also, once when I was going to therapy at the VA, my psychologist asked if anyone made fun of me for wearing “diapers”. He said he could hear them quite well. But other than that, nobody in public has commented. But either way, I don’t think I’ll be wearing the Rearz diaper in public. My Abena/booster pad combo works well. And the VA sends me over 200 diapers a month. I have irritable bowel issues. I have to change Abena’s frequently throughout the day. I wouldn’t want to waste a $3.00 diaper on frequent trips to the restroom. Being I’m such a heavy wetter, the Abena’s don’t really work in my sleep. Would you think I should wear the Rearz rebel diaper? It white with black skull and crossbones on it. I can add a booster as well. I don’t have to walk in it. It would just be to last through my surgery.

something i have found to work is onesies go on ebay and look for the wear to work ones plain color very easy to use may need your wife to help snap them but that is ok also have you try going up a size in your diaper some times if you go up a size it may help on leaks with better fit more easy to fit also the last thing i want to do is sound like a nut job here but have you gave thought to your wife helping you put them on with your tremor in your hand or hands could it be you may have lost some your stringhth in your hands

I am wearing the correct size for my waist/hips. I have onesies from xpmedical. The 4care ones. 2 white and 1 navy. I don’t want to wear those to bed because then I’m sleeping in a wet shirt. That’ll be cold. As far as wearing a onesie in the day time, I usually save those for the cooler months. In the Florida heat, I try to shed layers of clothing. My skin gets hot and clammy. I even shave most of my body hair. Anything to keep cool. I take Vitamin D3 supplements because I don’t go outside during the heat of the day and don’t get my D through sunlight. Also, I prefer not to have my wife apply a diaper on me. She’s had to do it before when I wore cloth and a few times after my last surgery. I was slightly embarrassed.

Who cares what you wear? What counts is what works for you.