www.incontinentsupport.org

Next month, (April) im going to Disney. I’m going with my wife, two boys, my in laws, and wife’s brother and sister (both grown adults) were all going together. I’m nervous about the trip because there is a lot of logistics to consider. I wear diapers but I also am a Foley catheter user. Probably 90% of my time is spent with a foley in, though still have occasional leaks, plus like the support that a diaper provides so the foley doesn’t bounce around and make me uncomfortable. So I need to manage to bring enough diapers and catheter supplies for 8 days plus try to “fly under the radar” were all staying together in a villa on the Disney property. My in laws already know most of the story, but brother and sister in law don’t know much about how bad this actually is. I’m really not looking to attract extra attention, don’t want sympathy, I just don’t want the world to know I’m in diapers and carrying a foley bag everywhere. I hate wearing shorts in public because of the legbag, even though it’s in a urocare holder, it still feels like I have a neon sign pointing at the bag.
Instead of being excited about the trip, I’ve dreaded it for the last year. Even to the point where I told the wife I wasn’t going, which pissed her off. But she doesn’t care because she doesn’t live with all this shit so she has no clue the stress it puts me under. It’s not a vacation to me, it’s an opportunity to put my freak show life on display for all to see. Wayyyyy outside my comfort zone. I’m looking at bringing a whole suitcase just for diapers and catheter supplies, a whole other suitcase for clothes for 8 days and my diaper bag for a carry on.
I’ve traveled a couple times since being incontinent, but either alone or with friends, never with the family since this began 4 years ago. Every time I go through TSA I get searched, patted down, the whole thing. The wife just doesn’t get any of that, it’s so embarrassing. Not to mention every family vacation we’ve been on for the last 4 years has been a shit show. I’m having a lot of anxiety about it. I told her that by stuff was going to get searched going into Disney and she just doesn’t get it because she’s never had to deal with any of it. I tell her that the airport security is a real life nightmare for me, and she’s like, “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t come” I don’t feel like she gets it at all.

I get where you are coming from. My wife and I are leaving Sunday for a week in Jamaica with a whole group of friends. This will be our first real trip since I became incontinent, and I am struggling with many aspects of it. Besides the logistics of making sure I have enough diapers, mattress protectors, bags for disposal, catheters for when I want to cath, etc., I have more than a little anxiety knowing that at least some of the group will find out. With the activities we have planned, it is almost unavoidable. While I am at a point where I generally don't care if anyone knows I wear diapers, I prefer they find out on my terms, and not because they notice me taking my backpack with me to change, etc. I'm also a bit pensive about TSA and Customs - though everything I've read on here about it tells me it should be fine, I'm sure I will be the rare occasion where someone has a problem (sounds like it's happened to you).

One thing that helps is knowing that our friends in the group are just that - friends - and will be understanding and empathetic if (when) they find out. They are some great people, and I've even thought about being up front about it, but decided to deal with it as necessary. Like you, I have some friends who know of my situation, but my wife and my sister are the only family members who know. It's funny to me, because it seems like it should be the other way around (more family than friends) but it's just not something I want to share with most family members.

So, unfortunately, I don't have much in the way of encouragement for you, other than knowing you're not alone in this situation. Have you been to Disney before? We went with extended family (20 people) a few years ago (prior to IC) and had a great time. I think there will be so much activity going on around you, especially during spring break, that you can be relatively anonymous. My guess is there will be plenty of people with bags and backpacks, etc. so you should blend right in and no one will think anything about you taking a bag into the restroom.

Hang in there and have a great time in the Magic Kingdom!

_________________
"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Pb&j, you really are not alone in this. I am going on a Disney cruise next week with family and am going through much of the same process as you. I do not use a Foley, but I am double incontinent. Although I am double incontinent, my wife and I are very experienced cruisers. However, as I now also have increasing mobility limitations I am not looking forward to this cruise except for seeing my granddaughters being excited and having a great time.

As I have told all of my adult relatives that I am incontinent and wear diapers, that is no longer a stress for me. I strongly recommend that you tell your brother and sister the facts of how difficult it is for you. There is no need to tell them any details. You probably will be surprised at how supportive they are and how they respect your privacy.

Re the logistics, I feel your pain. I will fill a separate suitcase with diapers, absorbent pads, rash cream, etc. I do not have to worry about TSA and a Foley and supplies, but in my backpack I will have not only some diapers, but also a complete red rubber bag enema set with hose and nozzle. I have to carry this in my backpack as daily enemas are how I manage my fecal incontinence and I cannot risk losing a checked bag with the enema set. Imagine my embarrassment if TSA suddenly pulls that out of my backpack!

Remember what you already know - people really don't care about your incontinence. Take a deep breath and enjoy your Disney vacation.

--John

If you know the resort or cruise ship port you can have your supplies shipped to you via FedEx/Ups etc and they will either be put in your resort room or you will have a message to pick up the package at the front desk etc. just call ahead to get the proper address and before you ship contact them again by saying a package will be arriving for You. you should carry a few days supplies in case the package gets lost but its rarely an issue

Make sure the package is set to arrive a few days before you do! to provide ample time in case there are any issues especially going on a cruise!


to ship to a hotel you should address the package

"Hotel name"
attn: "Yourname- Guest"
room # if you have it
Hotel Shipping address (provided by the hotel)

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We went to disney a couple of years a go and they were very accommodating in makeing sure my request for a matress protector was in place (both beds) since they didnt know what one we would use.
Security and bag check was professional i only had to explain why I had tape and scissors with me (both band with out a valid reason) I kepped my diapers in individual clear large ziplock bags so that when they checked the bsg the diapers were protected and stayed clean.

They see and handle incontinence items all the time we ended up joking every time a new security guard checked the bag as,I new what questions were coming Have fun with your family and enjoy your vacation. if you are worried maybe switch to just diapers when at the parks I wore dry 24/7’s and shorts and no one noticed Incontinence hasn't changed how much I enjoy a family trip to Disney.