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Wonderful!

--John

Thank you guys, for being there for me. I saw my guy last Saturday, and he said he would ring me, when he can!
I don't think it hurts to have time away from each other, and perhaps this is the glue that will keep us together.
Perhaps time apart will keep the relationship strong, I sincerely hope so!

Well, problems with relationship again!!

The man I had been seeing for the past two years has now walked away, for good!
Throughout all the time, we had been seeing each other, he was living with his
male friend and still is.
He told me that he wanted me to move in with him, earlier this year. I was unsure
whether this was the right thing to do, as he was always blowing hot and cold,
saying one month that he wanted me to move in, then changing his mind.
Because of this, I didn't move in, and we continued seeing each other.
At the same time, he was still living with his male friend.
Everything seemed to be going well in the relationship, apart from some small issues.
In July, he got pulled over by the police for drink driving and had to attend court.
I stood behind him and supported him, even told him that if he received a custodial
sentence I would be waiting for him, at the end of it.
Anyway, he had his day in court, and had to do so many hours community service, and
pay a fine.
Since that day, I have neither seen him or heard from him although I have tried
many times to contact him.
I now realise that the relationship is over, and he never had the decency to tell me.
He just walked out of my life, as if I didn't matter to him! Maybe, I didn't!!!
This has emotionally scarred me, and I doubt that I will ever have another relationship
ever again, as it is just too painful a process to go through.

Looking back on the situation, to me, he should have moved out of his friend's house
and returned to his own place then come and got me.
If he had done this, it would have told me that he was serious about the relationship!
BUT he did NOT do this!!
I now think he has a problem with commitment! He just doesn't do commitment, and
I now feel that the relationship was always doomed to fail, because of his attitude
and the way he treats his women.
It has been 3 months since he walked away from me, but the pain I feel is immense.
My only saving grace in this whole sorry mess, is that if he already has a new
girlfriend, he will do the same thing to her!
Maybe, he is a serial dumper of women. He lures them in, with his fancy patter
and sweet words ( which mean nothing) then stays with them for two years,
before walking out of their lives, without even a goodbye or a thank you!
I hope one day, he gets a taste of his own medicine, and the girl walks away
from him(this is what I should have done!!), then he would know how much
it hurts!
I can see now, that I am better off without him, and am trying to move on
but it is hard!

Sorry to hear of your troubles Aurora. Life will get better. It sounds like you saw a number of warning signs, but your optimism was willing to overlook those. IMO, your guy may be an alcoholic. They are classic manipulators and your life is far better off without him if that is the case.

Take some time for your self. Lots of it. But never say never. God has a great sense of humor towards people who do that.

_________________
- Tom

aurora, I'm sorry that this guy proved to be a piece of work. It's obvious that he's more interested in playing mind games and using people as a convenience than he is in having a meaningful relationship wherein he's part of a team that takes on and overcomes life's challenges. He doesn't seem to be the kind of person who will ever be there for you - or anyone.

The good part of this is that you're free of his disrespect for you as a person. No one should have to walk on eggshells and/or sit on a powder keg. Don't let him con you into resuming the (one-sided) relationship - he won't change. As to a subsequent relationship, I agree with WetDad. Never say never. Keep an open mind and heart. I'm sure there's someone out there who's perfect for you!

W.

The relationship is well and truly over. He dumped me, without even telling me.
He walked away the end of July. He got pulled over by the police for drink driving
and had to pay a fine, and do so many hours community service.
I told him I would wait for him and to phone me when he had finished the
community service, but needless to say I haven't heard or seen from him since.
I have a feeling that he has met someone else and is now in another relationship,
which no doubt will end the same way, because he will probably be with her for
two years and then he will walk away.
He did this to me, and to the girlfriend he had before me. I now think he is a
serial dumper. he sets out to have a relationship, then after two years he gets
bored and moves on.
he doesn't do commitment, or knows that you have to put the effort in, to make
the relationship work! if he doesn't get want he wants, he just moves on. He
doesn't even have the decency to let the woman know that the relationship
is over.
I think I have had a lucky escape!
Hope alls well with you.
I will be in touch again soon.

Hi, aurora - I'm truly sorry that your relationship ended as it did. However, I must agree with you that you're lucky to have come away relatively unscathed. The relationship likely would have degenerated into something much worse.

Hang in there - enjoy the simple pleasure in everyday things, and you will find contentment in your life. Gone are the days (thank goodness!) when a woman was nothing without a man.

W.