www.incontinentsupport.org

Last night reinforced to me that I should never waver on protection. 70% of the time I am a "normal" wetter at night. Ten percent of the time I wet heavy and ten percent barely at all and then, like last night, all hell breaks loose. I wear double night weight cloth diapers -usually. I will cheat about 20% of the time and wear just one diaper, much less bulky obviously. Last night drove home that cheating on what I know is the right diapering should be avoided. I did have on the double diapers. I needed every fiber they had and the bed was thankfully/luckily dry. I know that my not having any leaks in so long can make me think, "Do I need all this diapering?" The answer, even if was just five or ten times a year, is - yes. We know our needs but keeping trying to believe that less diapering is less babyish, more comfortable, not so visibly bad or whatever. We, down deep, really know the truth and have to use the knowledge we have gained about protecting ourselves. Thick or thin, plain or colors/prints, cloth or disposable it is STILL a DIAPER, period. They have a purpose, we have a goal, we have to remember we are the masters of this situation, have the knowledge and experience and have to use that to go on. Papa
PS. I know I will probably still cheat sometimes, "Nature of the beast!"

I guess this is not really an issue for me. The feeling of a thick wad of cotton between my legs has become so reassuring that, when circumstances have prevented me from using it, my sleep is interrupted. It has become integral to my bedtime routine, akin to flossing and brushing my teeth.

Papa:
I know exactly what you mean by knowing your true limit. In my case I can often get away with with just a good pull-up and maybe an added pad BUT, I know that there are a lot of times when that level of protection just won't be enough. When one of those "times" surprises me I'm thankful that I went a little further and wore heavier protection then I thought I'd need. Although I do change what I wear depending on the situation, if there is any question as to what I will be doing that day, or if a bathroom will be readily available, I've learned (the hard way!) to always default to wear my tape-up diapers and PUL pants.
This is especially true for sleeping, although I don't wet my diaper at night very often when I do it's a flood. I add a six layer cotton pad over my disposable diaper and then add my Gary PUL pants. So far I've had no leaks at night with this combination.

I wet the bed until my early teens and was diapered with pin on cloth diapers and plastic pants. I was 1 of 3 bedwetters in the family (out of 6 kids) and we all were afforded the same protection. My mom was a nurse (up until she had her 3rd child) and diapering was just a management tool. There was no teasing tolerated, no shaming and it was all handled in a very clinical way. Fast forward several decades and after what was supposed to be a routine bowel resection (about 1' of my descending colon due to diverticulitis) I developed severe bowel urgency. The first few weeks of recovery had me passing pure blood along with high fever and delirium. Complications subsided except for the severe urgency and very loose stool. (yes, there was a settlement with the surgical group). I was told that it would clear up over time. 2 decades later I'm functionally incontinent. My bladder control wasn't too bad but I got lazy and used my diapers. I was told by my primary to use a bulk producing fiber supplement (psyllium-Metamucil) to firm up my stool which worked wonders. However, it did nothing for the urgency and as a result of all the psyllium, I now experience increased frequency and volume. A trade off I was willing to accept to have semi-firm stool. My bladder control began to diminish over the years and I was in effect, bladder incontinent. My fault I suppose but it just seemed so pointless to rush off to the bathroom and try to remove my diapers to pee when I was often starting to void before the diapers were off. Lazy? Sure. But it seemed the logical thing to do. Because of the severe bowel urgency, I am in diapers 24/7.
Not exactly what I was expecting. Back in diapers in my late 30's. In the beginning, I had a lot of leaks. I began to use Confi-dry 24/7 with a booster and plastic pants yet I still leaked almost every night. I experimented and ended up using a pinwheel to puncture the plastic shell of the disposable for flow through and using a cloth pull-up diaper (Kins model 10700) over the disposable along with the plastic pants. I also use Desitin ointment (zinc oxide) for skin protection and Nullo deodorant pills for odour. It sounds like a lot of diaper and it is. But I rarely have leaks. I also use a bed pad (36" x 52") and when I do have leaks the water proof bed pad is at most damp. I haven't had a major leak since I began using this system. I suppose I could just double diaper with the disposables But the cloth pull-up diaper cuts down on costs, is comfortable and provides the absorbent security that lets me sleep leak free. I use 30mg of Temazepam and a couple mg's of valium to sleep and often wake in the same position I went to sleep in. I use these pharmaceuticals because in the beginning, the thickness of my diaper combination made it difficult to sleep. While I don't have a BM every night I do have one several times a week. There is very little if any "migration" while I sleep but I always wake very wet and sometimes messy. My cloth diapers? I love them. They work.

Like Papa, to avoid even an occasional wet bed, I now diaper up fully prepared for my wettest nights. I use thick prefold cloth diapers plus two heavy (9 layer) cloth booster pads. I fold and pin the diapers to give me an optimal fit with extra bulk in front, where I need it most. That combination has not failed me yet. Of course, I must deal with the bulk. One does become accustomed to the bulk, but I bought an unusually thick foam pillow to place between my knees and that has made a world of difference. With cloth diapers, I have experienced only 4 leaks in the past 430 days, but none at all for the past 230 days since I adopted the above process, despite being a fairly heavy wetter at night. Dry beds for 230 mornings is not bad.

--John

JD, Once you find what works it not only keeps the bed, pants, shorts, etc. dry you get the restful relaxing sleep that comes with knowing your diapers will not fail you. That so many seem to try and cheat on protection to feel... feel what I can't imagine. Drop the image thing or babyish thing or whatever and use your knowledge and experience to relax totally, at least in getting a good nights sleep.
Papa

I wish I knew what my limit is. I'm wondering if I will always wear some type of diaper. My incontinence has been with me for some time, and since my prostatectomy and diverticulotomy it continues to be an issue. I hear, and have read from many urologists that incontinence will improve in time. Since I have worn some type of protection for several years prior to my surgery, I'm almost afraid not to. Is there any way of knowing whether you are now continent? I have tried going without several times at night and during the day. Sometimes with success, other times not. How do I know. I really don't know if the day will come when I will wear normal underwear again. I'm not sure if this comment fits into this thread, but thought I would express my thoughts.

Dp, you either are incontinent or are not. The "test" is simple. If you can go all day and night without protection you are back to normal. If on the other case you wet yourself, even just occasionally, you are stuck in protection, unless you do not mind occasionally wetting yourself in front of people and waking up every now and then in a wet bed. You are the only one who knows the answer to that. Do the exercises, do all you can to adjust your life to head off being caught off guard, continence is, as we all now know, a wonderful thing that we all took for granted. How magnificent it would be to back in normal underwear and free of the stress this causes us all. Good hunting! Papa

Because I rarely feel that I am leaking, years ago I tried going without protection. Big mistake. Just because I do not feel that I am leaking does not mean that I am not leaking. Timed toileting, when I can use it, merely extends the wear time of my protection; it does not eliminate my need for it.