www.incontinentsupport.org

I haven't had the biggest problem with abdl's but I would really be sad to see this site turning into one. I'm glad everybody wants to keep the support for incontinence alive. I've been so severely affected by my incontinence is sort of an insult when someone takes pleasure over it. It's just wrong. I can handle it but when there are medical problems it's serious, it affects people.
I recently came out to everybody about my other disabilities, that I am an amputee and I know first hand how bad it feels when you discover your problems are someone else's fetish.... It can be emotionally painful so I believe that there has to be some place which is abdl free

Optimist

I hope this is not out of place if so apologies, having inspirational people like you in this community who have been through so much on a personal level helps me so much and gives me the drive to carry on the fight great to have you back on this great ship!

Take care of yourself no one should make others uncomfortable, perhaps if nothing else we all need to look after each other. We are all special people sharing the same journey in life!!

Greenbank

to add my two cents...

As an American, I support your right to live any way you choose. Men and women have died for people to be able to do what they want, speak how they want to speak and have opposing views from my own.

That being said, a line is crossed when you ask me to step away from tolerating and into participating in your lifestyle choices. If someone wants to live their life as an ABDL, that's fine, but there are places for that. By bringing that discussion here it is forcing others to participate in a fetish they neither want to be a part of or be forced to see.

Regarding the name issue, I feel it is the same concept. I heard one individual say that the ABDL name was part of his identity and to not have it present in his name was both censoring him and asking him to be something he isn't. I cannot agree with that statement. If being ABDL is so incredibly important to you that it is the sole measure by which you are defined then there is something seriously, seriously wrong with you. That requires some heavy therapy and introspection. We can choose anonymous identities that reflect us as individuals but also do not offend.

I am a priest. I think it is a very big part of what defines me as an individual. But I am not about to start putting "Christian" as my online identity. A, that limits me to being only understood by a stereotype instead of me as a person, and B, it forces other people into my worldview, which is not what this forum is about. Am I to offend Jewish, Muslim, Athiest, Hindu, or any other of the world religions by forcing that into the discussion? My religion has nothing to do with my incontinence or how I live my social life dealing with it. In the same way, ABDL has no place in the conversation, nor, in my opinion, do politics, other fetishes, or things not pertaining to our support of one another in our unique struggles.

I am grateful for the moderators of this forum who protect and route out elements or people that are being predatory voyeurs.

ABDL doesn't bother me. People can do whatever they like. What I don't appreciate though is when they infest websites that aren't meant for them. IDK why they can't be satisfied with their multitude of ABDL specific websites. If yiou look at the Depend forums, they've totally destroyed that. I think a lot of them get their jollies on pretending to be incon when they're obviously not as they explain symptoms that aren't consistent with any type of actual incontinence. I think this place should have a very low tolerance for that crap, but it's obviously hard to call someone out and tell them we don't believe them as we could be wrong.

ABDL people often can give good diaper advice because many of them have tried a million different diapers and therefore can make good recommendations. Also, there are ABDL specific diapers, some of which are very high quality. For these reasons, ABDL people can have meaningful contributions here.

I think a lot of us though just don't want to hear some thinly veiled FAP story about how you wet the bed and your wife makes you wear diapers 24/7. Honestly though I haven't seen much of that here. ADISC is full of that garbage (I think 90% of the "incontinent" people there are not) and I think this forum has done a good job keeping it away. There's a LOT more to incon than diapers and diapers simply are not the best solution for everyone. For some, they are the only good solution. I'm one of them but only came to that realization after spending thousands of dollars on meds and doctors.

I'd agree that anyone who signs up with a stupid screen name like "DiapersRule or MrpoopyPants" should not have their account activated. But I'd stop short of going full out 0 tolerance on any ABDL input. I'd welcome an ABDL person recommending a good ABDL diaper to someone who is having a hard time finding a workable "medical" diaper. But I think anyone a Mod or Schoppy suspects is ABDL should get a PM that lays out some very specific ground rules like:

-no promoting fetish crap
-no fantasy stories that are obviously horseshit
-no ABDL screen names

violations of those rules should result in a permanent ban.

I really don't have anything against ABDL people, it's just not my kink. But for all incontinent people (as far as I know) this condition is often extruciatingly emotional and can be very damaging to our self esteem and quality of life. It takes a LONG time for many of us to regain comfort in who we are and to come to accept ourselves with this condition. A decision to rely on diapers, at least for me, was very emotional and difficult. I just don't want to think about how someone on the forum is getting off on it and wishing they had my condition. They're welcome to the rest of the internet for that.


Just my thoughts.

I don't know what Brian did at the end, but I never had a problem with him. He seemed to be obviously medically incontinent, and that was enough for me.

I also don't remember him ever trying to "convert" people ab/dl, so much as people here being offended by his honesty about his feelings. I think a lot of people here have had such bad experiences with AB/DL fold on other sites that they were making a bigger problem out of Brian than he was actually making a problem of himself.

In any case, I've seen things be tame here, and I've seen some pretty hardcore bickering, and though I don't have any particular regards for Brian, or the adult baby folks that sometimes show up here, it's actually the hostility here that turns me off the most. I've moved away from this site, because I don't care for the drama.

My problem with Brian was not that he provided graphic narratives of AB/DL practice or tried to convert people to the life (he didn't do either, to my knowledge), but rather his insistence that AB/DL content be acceptable here and included in the discussions. He justified his position by stating something to the effect that 'It's like being Gay. You can't stop somebody from talking about being Gay.' I'm not sure if this is exactly what he said, but I think I'm pretty close. To address that analogy, I think it's a safe bet that there is a significant Gay population here on the forum. However, no one (Gay or otherwise) seeks to discuss Gay issues here because the intent of this forum is to provide support and to share information regarding a physiological/medical dysfunction. I had tried to explain to Brian that AB/DL content (or anything else, for that matter) should not appear anywhere that it isn't intended or expected to be, because no one should be blindsided, virtually held down, and a particular agenda shoved down his/her throat. It seems like he either couldn't understand or just refused to accept that concept.

W.

If I could hit a like button here, I would. Like 100 times I would.