www.incontinentsupport.org

PuddleGuy,
I agree with what you say, but I my defense I have been in them long enough I don't care what they think, there not the one's having to deal with what we have to live with. Heck if you see my leg bag and don't like it well, don't look. Just my thoughts but it took several years to get this way.

Ah yes, this is one of my areas of expertise.

A) if the protection is bulky (e.g diaper) then my clothes become a bit tighter. If they were tight to begin with i can't wear them comfortably (or sometimes do them up)!

I absolutely understand where you're coming from here. I really hate if there are sharp seams pressing against my diapers - they squash the padding and make the diaper less absorbent. Sometimes going up a size will fix it.

Sometimes, though, you actually have to find equivalent but slightly different clothing. For jeans, if I can find a size big enough that the crotch is low enough not to press into my diapers, the legs are two feet past my toes I've mostly switched from jeans to casual pants that have a convincing denim look but are stretchy and made of something I'm not clear on - they wrap around my diaper and don't press into it. The downside is they don't shape it as much so the bulge is a little more visible.

B) i worry people can see that i'm wearing protection (my mother once declared that i should not be wearing the sort of pad she'd noticed i was. She was clearly looking for it but still)

By and large I suspect it's not a common problem. I've worn some ridiculously thick diapers but as long as it's not either (a) a cloth diaper, which can be full-on globular at their worst, (b) under really tight clothing, or (c) messy (which creates a distinct lump in the back), there's a better than even chance no one will notice. Of course, people who know will 'notice', even though they might not be able to actually see it.

C) can you ever feel comfortable in lightly coloured clothes? Does the fear of leaks make you dress differently?

I fear leaks less than I used to, and I'll dress in light clothes if there aren't really practical or non-incongruous options in dark colours, but yeah, I do prefer dark colours. They hide crescent leaks on the leg, but they also hide the shadows of a lumpy-shaped butt from a messy diaper.

D) bladder spasms and retention make some clothes physically uncomfortable

I haven't had this experience myself, so I can't say.

E) stuff needs to be easy to get off in a rush. I also seem to wear the same easy shoes simply because i cannot face taking them off when my clothes are wet. Putting shoes on once is hard enough.

I absolutely relate to this.

The way I dress now is, unfortunately, harder to get off than it was when I was continent. With continence it's just underwear and pants. When you're incontinent, diapers are hard enough to wriggle out of without messing up the fit, but I also wear plastic pants and a snapsuit over my diaper, I have a tendency to wear button up shirts (so a round neckline looks less incongruous as an undershirt), and when I'm thickly diapered I tend to wear more outerwear to obscure my outline.

The upshot of this is that when I started having messing accidents, I switched fairly quickly to just filling my diapers instead of trying to toilet. I don't have any difficulty undressing but I was wearing so much fiddly clothing that by the time I messed, I was still wearing enough clothing that I could probably just walk straight out of the cubicle. It was easier just to fill my diapers where I was than to walk all the way to the cubicle, try to get undressed, and end up filling my diapers anyway.

Yes, No, Maybe.... Personally i have had this issue far too long to give a crap what other think LOL but i have been married much longer of 20+ years so the boss will and does tell me to change my clothes from, "house pants" to real clothes if we are heading out somewhere. she will toss me a onsie or one of my x-long carheats t-shirts to wear... yea velcro diapers and polyester pants are a bad combination i believe the term is wardrobe malfunction....

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I really haven't had to change my wardrobe much. I live in Central Florida and for 10 months of the year I pretty much wear cargo shorts. They are a bit baggier than most shorts and have plenty of pockets in which I can stash a pad or two. I will admit than when I do wear long pants I'll usually wear black. Also, if I'm going to be using heavier all-day protection (like a Dry 24/7) I will usually have to go up a pant size, especially if the pants are jeans.

I haven't changed the way I dress at all, I wear Attends 10 and still get to wear my tight jeans no problem. It is a lot of messing if out with friends and I need to change (double incontinent) so it takes longer in the toilet but I take my trusty man bag with everything I need and do what I have too. My mates have never questioned me if it takes me longer.

Well, I actually did - at the beginning, when I was still not enlightened and I was scared of anyone knowing about my incontinence, so I did. I'm double incontinent and I wear diapers all the time, when I was wearing normal jeans it was pretty much visible - not that much, but enough for people to ask questions, although I have manned up and I don't care about this. I still wear jeans - but a bit wider, so nobody asks questions and as I started working out at the gym, I gotta say that my legs got a big bigger so nobody is even bothering to ask now because it's much less visible than before - not that I care if it's visible or not, I even tend to joke around sometimes that's it's my new fetish

I wear light colored khakis to worth almost every day. my diaper is BetterDry which is as bulky as any of the premium non ABDL diapers. No one can tell.

I only wear the diaper under my pants, no onesie or anything. I used to use compression shorts, but I realized it's not necessary. With a good diaper like this, I haven't had any leaks. I change on a schedule, which all but guarantees no leak.

We make a much bigger deal about this stuff in our heads than it really is.

Other than purchasing pants one size larger, my biggest change was moving from tie shoes to slip-ons. Although I still wear tie shoes occasionally, slip-ons make changing much quicker and easier.

I only wear jogging bottoms (sweatpants) and a onesie with a long sleeved teeshirt that hang low. I have two pairs of jogging bottoms so if one becomes wet I can easily change into another pair without it becoming obvious i have changed. I wear Molicare Slip Maxi. I don't care if my pad outline is more defined, nobody has said anything. I alway carry a messenger bag with my spare pads and wipes, its easy because when I go out I don't need to take it off because it hangs around my shoulders so because I have it on all the time it's more discreet when using the bathroom.

Do other people have similar problems? Are these problems/fears you've been able to get over?

A) if the protection is bulky (e.g diaper) then my clothes become a bit tighter. If they were tight to begin with i can't wear them comfortably (or sometimes do them up)!

Yes. I wear fairly thick, upmarket diapers and this was definitely a problem for me starting out. I have donated a lot of clothes and bought a lot of new, much looser clothes.

B) i worry people can see that i'm wearing protection (my mother once declared that i should not be wearing the sort of pad she'd noticed i was. She was clearly looking for it but still)

I think whether people can see your diapers has a lot to do with fit and material. I have almost never had trouble with my diapers in jeans or cargo pants. They're also not really a problem under my flannelette pyjama pants. I have some much lighter, thinner cotton pyjama pants, though, that drape easily over my diapers and are therefore much more of a concern.

C) can you ever feel comfortable in lightly coloured clothes? Does the fear of leaks make you dress differently?

I gave up lightly-coloured pants years ago. I wear a onesie and plastic pants under my clothes, so I feel protected enough from leaks to wear lightly-coloured tops.

D) bladder spasms and retention make some clothes physically uncomfortable[/b]

Because this isn't part of my incontinence, I don't know.

E) stuff needs to be easy to get off in a rush. I also seem to wear the same easy shoes simply because i cannot face taking them off when my clothes are wet. Putting shoes on once is hard enough.

I used to dress this way. However, my incontinence has progressed to the point where getting to the toilet is almost never an option. While this has a lot of problems, it has certainly freed me to dress as I wish.