www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi justej

Never feel alone or ashamed you are a special person who is valued and loved. There is nothing to be ashamed about with incontinence or wearing diapers 24/7. I stressed about incontinence/diapers too and also felt ashamed but after I reached out I discovered that this is what was holding my life back and was causing me so much mental damage and depression that everyone here talks about. I destroyed my old underwear to shreds and this me helped so much come to terms with a new me. I put on a diaper had a good look in the mirror had a good cry. Over time I realised that no one noticed what I was wearing and to be frank I did not care. I now have control over my life and am so happy and I now realise what a fool I had been to resist for so long.

If I feel bad I go for a good walk in the country/park watching nature birds etc or I watch others make a fool of themselves on the online video sites or I put the Minions movie on makes me laugh every time and I feel so much better. This is going to sound strange I lover the water cooler bit.

If you feel alone or ashamed again just reach out you are only a quick message away from support here.

Big hugs to you and love it does get better honest

Greenbank

I want to echo what greenbank said. Do not feel ashamed.

Perhaps I see things different from working as a registered nurse all those years. I have fully accepted my urgency incontinence and having to wear a diaper all the time. I have seen a lot of other people in the hospital feel sorry for themselves. Some of them had a valid reason, however most did not.

If all you need to do is wear a diaper, then you can do what ever your want without restrictions. Unless you tell someone they will not know that you are wearing a diaper. How many people tell others what kind of underwear they wear. Before I became incontinent, I never did, you do not have to either.

I lead a full and active life and do not let wearing a diaper slow me down. I go fishing, do amateur astronomy, play bridge, play cello in a cello choir and in an orchestra, go to my church every week, I even have written some music for the cello, I cook and do home canning.

YOU can do ANYTHING.

You are not alone, we are all here for you.

_________________
RetiredRN

thanks folks. society makes us think we should be potty trained by at least 3 and accidents are something to be made fun of. and diapers? only babies and the elderly wear them. ive always been one to say "f society i dont care what you think" (hell i have piercings and tattoos and have been into punk since i was a teen) but for some reason this has been harder. i guess its a grieving process i have to go through and they are never easy.

Tell yourself there is nothing to be ashamed of.
As you are still you. Peeing yourself uncontrollably is OK. You are still alive and well. The world will not end. It is an accident and you will get through it.
A diaper does not define you- it is just a thick absorbent garment.
The doctor may find what is wrong and correct the leakage or he may not. That is fine. Life will go on.
I know it may be very hard. But this is really the first step i found i had to take in order to move on.

And it is similar process that I go through in dealing with my ptsd. It is a very zen like approach- mindfulness as my therapist call it

There is no sense stressing about things that you cannot change. Acknowledge it, move on and grow stronger

"Stop letting it bother you so much. Let it go. Your mind can only handle so much"

Personally I myself still struggle with this but on days when I have better grasp, I am more functional and actually feel good

thanks everyone. today is a new day and im thinking positive. i dehydrated myself yesterday so i wouldnt have to wear and my shrink said "stop f'n doing that! its a heat index of 104 and youre gonna kill yourself or damage your body even worse. just wear the stupid diapers. its better than passing out somewhere because you didnt drink all day." hes great. straight to the point.

i have my bag packed and a water bottle full of water so im just gonna try to stay positive.

Yes, don't dehydrate yourself. I'm very new and still learning but that's one of the first things I discovered. When my bedwetting started getting out of hand I tried to stop drinking anything after 6pm and all that did way make me super thirsty. When I wet the bed it would be more concentrated and smell worse or I'd wake up dying of thirst. Now I just drink normally, maybe a little bit dialed back.

With my minor daytime issues, I was doing the same thing. My biggest fear was an accident on the subway on my way home so I'd not drink much water all day. It didn't stop any urgency, it just concentrated my pee. Not good. Now I just sport a Tena Level 3 guard on my commutes and make sure I empty my bladder right before leaving. I've tested this product out and I'm pretty confident it can withstand my minor leaks if I am sure to void before leaving. As long as the train doesn't break down or I get stuck in obscene traffic I probably won't even need it at all.

Being new, I can't give a ton of advice, but definitely keep hydrated. Incon aside, keeping properly hydrated is very beneficial to overall health and wellness.


Best of luck to you.

thanks mikejames.
ive been drinking water like crazy today. im on my 3rd kleen kanteen bottle.
and im having water with my lunch.
i dont wanna mess up my body worse than it already is. i dont need more medical problems.
ive been wearing today and its gone fine. the atns and pul pants are doing their job

does anyone else go through denial periods?
like "ok this is all in my head. im fine. i dont need diapers. underwear is just fine. i can make it."
i went through all of those thoughts this morning before stupidly heading out in just boxers. i had self confidence. i was positive i was fine. then i had an accident. ever reminding myself i am not fine. i do need to wear. its not in my head. and as soon as i was able went back into diapers. major reality check. hopefully these "denial days" will go away. hell this incontince thing has been going on for a year and a half. i just gotta suck it up, wear, deal, and move on.

Hi justej

I went through denial periods you are not alone. Denial days will occur at various points, one of the defining momenent will be when you throw away your boxers for good I felt so good and liberating when I did this we are all different though. I have just woken up from my incontinence free world of my dreams to find guess what a soaked diaper I used to cry however this did me no good so it is off to breakfast now shower have some air out time whilst shaving then into my day diaper until the my next change is due and on it goes. I find that having a daily routine helped me accept incontinence and wearing diapers 24/7.

Keep strong you can do it you have made such good progress more than you think you have I have faith in you.

Greenbank

Yup, it is unfortunately quite normal. In "other" groups it's much worse too, and is commonly known as the binge-purge cycle. In any case you just need to learn moderation is the key, and don't deny what your body needs. Do this and those denial cycles will slowly fade into a better acceptance.