www.incontinentsupport.org

After a long halfdry period, I am back to square one.
No real control of anything.
One of the reasons is my psychologist through 15 years, has developed cancer.
On top of other issues, it became too much. Everybody else have gone on holiday.
Mentally, I have gone into a regression.
The challenge with going backwards now, is that I have got used to some degree of control,
and now I don't have it.
I have diapered up the best I can, but mentally I feel like there is no protection.
Getting the disaster thought that the diaper no longer is there, or fails.
The feeling is not funny at all...

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I want to join the bowel movement....

optimist, I'm sorry that you're going through a tough time. I know that you have had some serious issues in your past, and quite possibly view your long-time therapist's illness as another loss/means of insecurity. However, maybe you can re-purpose the scenario and be part of a support system for him/her. I see that as an opportunity to redirect your anxiousness and sadness into something productive and meaningful.

IMHO, obsessing over and chasing control - and getting disappointed when it doesn't happen - sets you up for failure and low self esteem. Just get the best diaper you can reasonably afford (or get through social services) and still have enough money on hand for your other basic needs, plus a little treat once in a while (I remember your telling us that you bought yourself some perfume a while back.), and enjoy all that life has to offer you.

btw, how about changing your screen name to contain a capital "O". I think that would be very appropriate for an optimist!

P.S. That goes for the rest of you lower-casers, too!

W.

My heart goes out to you. In many ways, depression can be more debilitating than incontinence. I hope that your therapist and his/her doctors treat the cancer successfully, and that you will soon regain your mental equilibrium. Keep us informed.

I can't find a way to change to capital O, So I stay with the more humble version.

When it comes to the quality of the diapers I can get, it is tena maxi, with doublers.
I have ordered some new PUL pants, and wait for them to arrive in my mailbox.
If I could have lubricated the planes to fly faster, I would have done it....

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I want to join the bowel movement....

hi optimist. i dont know your full story, but i deal with mental health issues and trauma.
i know my psych is gonna have to leave one of these days (hes in his 70s) and its gonna be real hard. ive been with him for 9 years.
is your incontinence related to your mental health?

i hope you find some peace soon. thinking about you...

oh and solidarity with the lower case name. im terrible at typing using caps.

I can understand your feelings optimist, as I have had depression for more than 25 years now. It was a long battle to find a type and dose of meds that would work right for me. Plus more meds for the side effects. Now I just don't worry about being wet, I don't let it define me.

Relax and enjoy life. Avoid the news for a week or more- all of it- newspapers, TV, talk radio. Go to your library and check out a few books to read. Something you would not normally read. Perhaps a biography or a novel. Call up and old friend a chat a while. I often need to do that to help reset my spirits and it helps greatly.

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- Tom

I drown my sorrows in my bathtub, reading some good crime books,
and occupy my mind with soapmaking.
All the kind words from you all are really appreciated. It warms.

Someone said some years ago that I am made of cork. Pull me down,
sooner or later I will surface. Rather sooner than later, I hope.

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I want to join the bowel movement....

Got some good news about my psychologist.
They think they have removed the cancer,
and I will not lose him as therapist yet.
My diaper issues has got another complication.
I have developed a condition called frozen shoulder.
To speed up the healing process,
my GP has given me a shot of hydrocortison directly into the shoulder joint.
The result is that I have become practically one armed.
It is impossible to put on a slip diaper, so I am left with pullons who are more prone to leak.
This leads to more laundry...still with only one arm.
It could have been worse. It could have been two frozen shoulders...

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I want to join the bowel movement....

You can try: make up your disposable diaper before you put them on. You will need to get the position of the tape just right. Once you find the correct place, for the tape, then you can step into them just like a pull up. I know this might not be as good as fastening the tape as you put them on, but it might be better than regular pull ups.

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RetiredRN