www.incontinentsupport.org

Edit: My comment is kind of mean and uncalled for. I apologize. Please delete it.

Mattewmeto

This site has always been dedicated to helping people who like us are dealing with a medical condition that unfortunatly requires us to wear protection. The moderators do a great job of keeping this site and information exchange on topic.

You should have no fear of any of the advice given here as any questionable info or posts are quickly dealt with in a profesional manner by the moderators and some times its the members of the board who see the issue first and notify the moderator for action to be taken.


remember you are not alone in dealing with real IC issues

Robert

Although I am not AB/DL, when I first had to deal with incontinence, in my flailing about I chanced on an AB/DL couple. They patiently led me through many of the things I would need to know in order to get through life as an incontinent. At the time I had no idea that such folks existed, what the letters AB/DL meant, who they were, or what they did. When they tried to recruit me and I declined, they dropped our correspondence. However, I guess, I was with them and their group long enough that, somewhere on the web, there must be a server with my name on an AB/DL site. That said, I must acknowledge my debt to them. I was enduring horrific pain at the time, desperate for insight and support, and they gave me what I needed.

Wetters, my apologies. I meant no disrespect and was attempting to reply to the comment you directed at me, without bringing up my abdl side in the open forums (as I have been previously asked). At the very least I was not attempting to intimidate you- only to explain and enlighten. I again apologize you interpreted it differently.

No. Just Plain NO!

Sorry, but to PM a person, without them asking, or you asking them first, and putting in that stuff, is a huge NO!

In my honest opinion, you stepped over the line that was clearly drawn for you, and disrespected the conditions set forth for you being able to stay here.
That line has been crossed, and I for one, really can only see one outcome for this.

Brian, I thought you were going to abide by what was set forth for you. However, so many of your posts, that fell under areas I don't normally read, I re-read, and noticed the AB/DL undertones. The constant explaining your life in ways to look like were not. Then this? Sorry, not on this forum. Not with these people here, me included, that hate having to wear diapers. That hate peeing themselves all the time. That hate the stigma, that is partly caused by those that wear diapers as a fetish, giving it a bad name!

Sorry, but for me, a ban for that is the best idea.

_________________
Hello, my name is Scott, and physically, I am 40 years old. However, thanks to abuse, and being special needs, mentally and emotionally, I am equal to about 6-10 years old.

Scott, you're right-on. Thanks again.

W.

Well, if that's how everyone feels... I at least hope I was helpful on everything else.

Though in my defense I was asked to not post anything offense or abdl on the website or forums- I have complied with that and kept it to private messaging ONLY in responses to direct inquiries and comments.

I also didn't realize it was forbidden to respond to a comment directed at me by pm'ing that person (especially an admin) without asking them on the open forums first. Especially for a response that I was asked to not post on the forum in the first place. (Which by the way it actually is also perfectly acceptable to message someone out of the blue on many other websites and forums of many different subject natures- so it's not like I just broke some unwritten rule).

And Scott, you say I overstepped a condition that was set for me, except I believe I have not. Or at least not one I was ever aware of. I don't suppose you would please let me know what that condition/line was so I can at least not repeat that mistake elsewhere? Thanks.

Okay, let us break this down. I'm in one of my "dealing with forum" moods, and you just seem to not get it, so here goes.

1. I looked at a lot of your posts, and they do seem to have a lot of AB/DL to them. Almost like trying to convince people of your lifestyle. Some, was a bit understandable, I do admit, as you were trying to explain the differences in how the lifestyle and this community feels on things. But, still there.

2. On 95% of forums, it is customary, to ASK or be TOLD to PM someone, especially a staff member, about something that is not a dire emergency on the workings of the forum. Add to that, you could see the person was not at all interested in your lifestyle. Not is it appropriate, ANYWHERE, especially here, to send a PM that was intimidating, and consisting of one's craving a pacifier or bottle.

3. Yes, you did. 95% of forums, do not like people PM'ing out of the blue, especially to staff, about anything. The only exceptions, would be emergency issues related to the forum itself, not someone's AB/DL lifestyle. SOURCE: Someone that admins over 12 forums, moderator on just about the same number, and member of over 30, all different types, and subjects.

4. The step, as you even admitted:


After looking at posts, that clearly is not always the case.


So yes, this is how I feel, and not just Wetters.
In my honest opinion, that PM was uncalled for, and really out of line.

_________________
Hello, my name is Scott, and physically, I am 40 years old. However, thanks to abuse, and being special needs, mentally and emotionally, I am equal to about 6-10 years old.

Scott, thanks for the feedback! This helps a LOT. Though I do have a few follow-up questions/comment if you don't mind?

1. Yes this has been surprisingly difficult for me. I've been equating it as like asking a gay person to not provide any undertones of how good other men can be- while on a dating web site. Unfortunately for me, this is an integral part of who I am (it absolutely is not a choice of lifestyle), and yes this will affect what I say, how I say it, and even my core decisions- simply because this is a defining part of who I am. Still, If you or anyone sees me step over what ever comfort boundaries there are here, could you please let me know to tune it down (or off)? Thanks.

2. My apologies, I must have been participating in the other 5% of forums for the last 20 years. Privately contacting someone (especially an admin) in regards to them openly contacting me on the forums first has always been acceptable. I have noted this as otherwise not being acceptable and will ALWAYS ask private matters on the open forums from now on. (though I admit it really doesn't make sense to me why)

3. Also noted, for which I apologize for. Again, I will keep all matters on the open forums unless invited into private messaging first. (and ps. admin for 12 forums- how does someone even do that? I was busy with just 1 and that was 18-19 years ago, but 12??? Clearly my understanding of how to admin a site is outdated- so again my apologies).

4. Thanks, and yeah I have obviously missed that. I honestly though I had only replied to a few others regarding this, and had not initiated it myself. Clearly I am not able to think in the exact same manner as you are, and am at a disadvantage here. I do promise to work harder at this, but again could use your (and others) feed back whenever I step over that imaginary line. Thanks

1. There's a difference. This forum clearly states it's not for the AB/DL crod. So not abiding by that, and posting to the effect, is violating that rule. Plain and simple.

2. Private matters, such as forum related logging in and out issues, and other forum related issues, are one thing. Anything that entails private info, as email used for forum account, etc., is what PM'ing a staff member is mainly for, on countless forums. Oh, and FYI: Wetters is a Moderator, not Admin.

3. Well, a few secrets. A. Most, run off the same type of forum, so it's easier to deal with, when everything is so similar. B. I don't run them alone, as I always make sure to select the best people to be staff. (Like Wetters. If Wetters was on my sites, would be instant Moderator, as that's how trustworthy Wetters is. )

4. That is NOT an imaginary line. That is part of what you agreed to, when signed up at this site, that this is a SUPPORT site, NOT an AB/DL site. Your constant trying to work around that, and failing to see that, is why this discussion is really getting you deeper and deeper on people's bad sides.

_________________
Hello, my name is Scott, and physically, I am 40 years old. However, thanks to abuse, and being special needs, mentally and emotionally, I am equal to about 6-10 years old.