www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi!
I'm the new guy who has been rather (über)aktive on the forum lately. I thought I put up a new topic -it might've been discussed earlier, so the moderators are naturally free to move or remove this if it is redundant. I just pondered, what have others given up because of incontinence? I have given up or avoided quite a many things because of my OAB/sensitive kidneys.

It would be interesting to hear and share experiences and possibly also successes regarding these issues here with people who have different backgrounds and struggle with different types of incontinence. Hopefully this works more as a peer support rather than opens up some old wounds and causes distress! It's just that openness usually helps.

1. Military service. Service is mandatory, but I was very worried about my bladder and my cold-sensitive, stone-prone kidneys getting worse. I had some other more minor issues with my ankles back then (some old injuries) and the doctors knew about my kidneys, so I was a class B conscript anyway and would probably have been put behind an office or warehouse desk, but after thinking it through and also making some ethical pondering, I decided to do the nonmilitary service (I worked at a museum for a year. ). Doing the nonmilitary wasn't that big a deal for me personally, but some people here have very nasty opinions about males who have done the nonmilitary service. Luckily most other young people just shrug it off. Most of my friends have done the military service and they don't give a damn about anyone's decisions. Still, being so WORRIED about the idea of going to the military and having an accident there was terrifying.

Movies, concerts, road-trips, open-air events, non-monitored exams:For many years I avoided these as if they were a plague. Especially before I got my medication, urgency meant emergency. Movies and theatres are difficult to leave in order to get into the toilet. As for open-air events: cold is also bad for my bladder and kidneys and it is very difficult to predict the weather here. Dress too much: look like an idiot and sweat like a pig. Dress too little: boom. Kidneys and bladder go haywire, plus you might not be allowed to take extra clothing with you to the area as your back could contain dangerous items or take too much room from others. In the nature, trekking or birdwatching, there's no problem. When the urgency strikes, there's the nearest bush to do the business in, but try that in a concert... no no no.

Non-monitored exams are ones that have no staff present (they are in a room you are not allowed to take anything in and which you are not allowed to leave before submitting the final answer via an electronic system, in case you wonder what the heck this is). They offer flexibility to the scheduling of studies and are at times the only option available. I've done a few. Combine stress hormones (which are diuretics) and an OAB into an situation in which you are NOT allowed to go to the toilet and you are on a verge of a disaster -a flood of biblical proportions if you wish. I've been lucky to have been able to "hold it" in these situations; I can assure you there have been occasions in which a total loss of control was very close and minor leaks did occur My success in not wetting in these exams is probably due to the fact that I've done all of them in a state of self-induced de-hydration... If I had to do these again (my studies are nearly finished) I would definitely contact the student healthcare and ask for a statement showing that I absolutely need to use the toilet whenever I have the urge. I would also wear a diaper, just in case, as I do these days whenever I am in a tight spot or have a bad bladder day. At the beginning of my university studies a few years ago I was still too embarrassed to buy the "products". What a twat I was. That's like being embarrassed to buy toilet paper.

Luckily my condition is now mostly under control. I still avoid many of the previous situations (old habits stick tight) and also because I am worried that if I leak the protection might fail, but mostly I am able to participate in the student life more fully. Even though I am not that outgoing, the knowledge that I may participate despite my bladder being a little is relieving.

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Linja-autojen ja rakkauden perässä voi juosta tai odottaa seuraavaa.

I have had to give things up because of my health, but the bladder issues are secondary to the larger ones so I can't think of anything directly related to my bladder. The bladder HAS made me give up winging anything (last minute plans etc) because of the need to plan, pack a diaper bag etc.

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When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius

I haven't truly given up anything because of my incontinence. If anything, diapers have helped me to do more and go longer than I otherwise normally wouldn't be able to.

That said, I have had to give up a number of things because of my other disabilities, or out of preference to avoid the masses of stupid people out there. However, I do not consider this as a result of solely becoming incontinent.

When I first started having issues, I avoided sitting down to watch television shows, going to the theater or to see shows. I avoided concerts and live events like the plague. I even stopped going out to bars and clubs because I was afraid of constantly having to go or leaking. I avoided drinking any kind of alcohol and lowered my water intake drastically, which of course was unhealthy. I avoided long classes despite them fitting best in my school schedule. I avoided sporting events, either participating or just watching. I gave up some of my interests in martial arts and sports, jogging and the like and sort of became a homebody due to my fears. I hated travelling as stopping every half hour to an hour was annoying for anyone riding with me. And don't even think about performing, doing storytelling events or open-mic nights.

However, since I have started using adequate protection, I'm slowly trying to reintegrate these things into my life. I was able to go out and have fun with friends for my birthday, which was phenomenal. I took a road trip about 6 hours away a few months ago. I am reintegrating fitness and martial arts back into my daily life with much less fear. I truly want to be able to live the best life I can live as unhindered by my issues as I am able to provide for myself. It turns out that this is not only best for my body, but for my mind as well. Staying in so much and allowing my life to become so stagnant and unfulfilled due to incontinence affected my mental health issues greatly, and they are improving now that I'm managing it properly.

I'm pretty determined to try and integrate as much of my hobbies and interests with the outdoors and performing back into my life as much as possible. I'm learning as I go, for sure, but I do not want to have to give up anything because of this.

For me, incontinence is rather a minor inconvenience. Vertigo, ataxia, nausea, collapsing and vomiting are more threatening. I pack along a fully equipped diaper bag, and I'm good to go. I am familiar with all the handicapped restrooms on my usual haunts, and function accordingly. Diapers give me hours of freedom that I would not otherwise enjoy.