www.incontinentsupport.org

HI....I just joined and spent considerable time looking over the posts from many of the regular posters. Hope I can add a thing or two as I am not short on words when trying to share or help.

Perhaps some, like me, have been at managing our incon issues so long, we feel it hardly a routine worth discussing. Afterall, we don't do that in
our day to day company and few there may even know what I deal with.

However, I have to step back and consider the many who have more recently starting having problems, and the flood (no pun intended) of questions they have. Yes...I had that same feeling way back when ... when a sudden fall from a ladder brought on my condition. Maybe I
forget all the times I had questions and wanted input from others out there...well BEFORE the days of the WWW/Internet.

Anyhow, here I am. Incon from a compressed tailbone (sacral nerves) and now more recently, with added enlarged prostate simply due to the aging process. I'm 64. As to BPH (benign prostate hypertrophy)...it's just that...an enlarging; and after much monitoring, testing, and biopsy,
NO CANCER. !!!

It all adds up, in my case, to a bladder I'm just not sure about...and certainly can't trust. Just never know when. There are dry periods...nights and days...and there are the wet 'seasons', too. It's odd
and kinda unpredictable, but just the way it goes.

I've done the meds thing, refused to look into surgical options for it (I've
been under the knife for other things and won't go for more), and I've
tried a lot of tricks to reduce/stop the flow. Well, the bladder prevails in my battle of wits with it. Yes, I rely on protection at times...all forms to
include the cath/legbag setups. As to absorbant protection....I've done it all and keep my options open, be it cloth, disposables, pullups, diapers, pads, etc. Waterproof pants...vinyl, rubber, poly, etc. Tried most all
brands and always try new products...reuseable OR disposable. Lots of
options and I keep my supply closet well stocked and try not to run out.
I still don't know what product is "best". That is an individual choice...I just know what is best for ME and for the ACTIVITY I'm about to engage in. So...what is "best" is a variable even to me, and the many products I have stocked attest to that fact.

I do travel since I retired...have until recently even done some motorcycle touring...HARLEY! and never let my bladder stop me for the fun. I've been to some support groups, met others with incon issues, and try to share when possible or learn from others. Though
bladder incontinence is a rather unpublished part of my life, I will relate
to people who have a need to know, as in support groups or to those with disability and dealing with incon issues/management. If anything, I can
possibly help point out new products and procedures to help manage better and all the while, steer them away from the 'stigma' of this thing, just by talking and sharing. Afterall, we are NOT alone when we finally reach out and connect, share and help each other. Oh, never hurts to inject a little humor at times. Gotta have humor.

So....that's me. I'm here to learn, maybe to help, too. Certainly to share
and contribute when I can. I don't mind being asked...and I don't mind
being rather direct in trying to give an honest answer, either. Let's all get on with life, work, play, do our social interactions...even get into relationships !!

I've been there, go there, and I've survived. so THERE !

It's a good forum here. Yes, I agree, the posts are too heavily weighted
on the select few who contribute most. I'll never be a top poster, but I won't stay MUTE, either.

One may learn and benefit by a passive enrollment here. But you'll not benefit nearly as much as when you speak up and contribute, and that means giving of your thoughts and information, even interacting. You'll never move forward being passive and quiet.

To the founders and moderators: I appreciate the efforts made in setting this up. And the many efforts of the top posters to keep it going. You guys and gals are superb!

I'll be around, ok? If I get too quiet, just rattle my cage and I'll squawk!

John.

Hi John
Welcome to the board!

I'm a Female as you may already know but reading your post I can see myself in there as I read it. I to became incontinent before the age of the Internet. So I to know that lonely feeling or feeling of isolation. For me I was a young gal. and felt as if I was the only young person in the world that had a bladder issue.

When the Internet came along and I found out how big this issue really is I was floored. I was Also floored to find out there was a crowd known as the AB/DL crowd. THAT REALLY SENT ME FOR A LOOP!

I also tried many treatments/drugs and other test early on and after many $$$ were wasted I found Diapers to be the best answer for my needs.

Anyway I'm a rather strong willed person and will not be held back because of Diapers.

Thanks for your post John I hope to here more from you.....Sandy

John,
Thanks for that post. You had a bunch of good things to say. I wish more people could take the attitude of to go on with life and accept your incontinence. There's no reason incontinence should slow any body down for any reason. There's a way to cope in about any situation.
I hope you do chime in with your comments or questions John. I believe you're going to be an active member.
Thanks again, John, and keep the comments coming! ........Paul Martin

I appreciate the welcome...Sandy and Paul. Nice to know the post was
read and even nicer to know someone would stop to comment with words of welcome and support.

As for getting on with life, there was an event about five years ago that
that rather struck me. I saw a friend I'd done some work with in past years and remarked that it was a while since I'd seen him last. He said
he'd been having some health problems...and then commented, "ya know, I had radiation treatment for my prostate and I lost control of my bladder -- I COULD NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE FOR A YEAR !!!" Of course he didn't know of my long standing problem with incontinence, and at the time I didn't think it would solve anything to reveal my struggles to him.
It seemed his problem had been resolved with further medical intervention. But, it did give me insight that this problem CAN cause
a shut-down in the lives of others, and he was a perfect example. I
was glad he had is problem resolved and that he was again back in circulation, but it just got me thinking about him and probably many others out there, of all ages, who go thru this and make the unfortunate decision to just shut down and hole up.

Sure wish instead of the 'hole up' attitude that they could just 'hook up' HERE real fast and get some good support, ya know? We'd make sure they would be getting out and about in short order.

Anyhow, your kind welcome is most appreciated.

John.

Hi John and welcome to the group your post was very good.I have somewhat the same problem as you bph with urge incontinence but I don't let it stop me from doing thing I like,goingto the gym outings and so forth.Welcome again.

Hi John and welcome to the forum.

Also thanks for that great first message.

Im glad that you joined our forum as I can tell already that you have a lot of great info to share with others.

I'd just like to jump in and add my welcome aboard, John!

You have made such an excellent point of how incontinence can stop people dead in their tracks and the way you put it...hole up....is so very true and terribly sad.

Before the information age afforded by the internet it was impossible to find support. I am in that group of life long incons who go back before the internet and before there were any decent disposable diapers!

I really welcome your attitude, John. As you correctly point out many more read this forum than contribute or post, but if they are learning from the posts, then we are doing a good thing. Your postitive attitude about getting on with life inspite of wearing diapers is a message that cannot be repeated often enough. As you also said, we who have been at this awhile take a lot for granted as we've gotten over the "hit" of finding we need protection to keep the pants and furniture dry.

But incontinence continues to enter people's lives and we need to constantly "be there" for the newbie who is trying to figure out what to do next and may be considering staying home....holing up....giving up....not wanting to face the embarassment.

It's great to have you join us in our effort to reach out and keep the newly incontinent folks going....it sure ain't the end of the world to have to wear a diaper! Put on that protection and get on with life!

JoeK