www.incontinentsupport.org

I'm here every day as well, though I don't post stuff everyday. There is seldom a day when I don't end up here for at least a quick visit. I don't think anybody here ever thought they'd be posting on an incontinence forum about how they deal with having accidents and wearing diapers. But here we all are. It's a great resource for support from real people who get it!!

Thanks all for your input. I just don't get it. Millions of people dealing with incontinence and about 200 people total using or lurking here. There's no reason to fear just reading the posts. I understand joining. There's the possibility of being outed by some unsavory element. But just stopping in and reading, there's little to fear by doing that.

I have to say, this site has helped me immensely. Much of my confusion and fears have been reduced by posting here and hearing from the folks that have already been down this path. I know far more about incontinence then I ever wanted to thanks to you guys. This site is just such a great resource. Where is everybody? Is there really that much shame and embarrassment that people won't even read about their problems? Or is it just not that big of a deal to them. If that's the case, I must be a bigger mess than I thought.

Anyways, I have a feeling I'll be blowing up the board for a while yet. The questions seem to keep on coming. Thanks again guys....Ted

I am a most of the time just reader and occasional poster. (Say that 5 times fast.)
I have what I consider "mild incontinence". Pads and sometimes pants usually work for me. But some days are worse than others, but it is rare that I have to change during the day. (But that has happened.) Enough about me. As on most sites, you have many people that look, and very few that actually have anything to add. And sometimes, THAT can be a good thing. Hopefully I have been able to help someone else here with their issues. I know this place has helped me.
BTW, welcome to 2016, I hope everyone has a great year!

I'm still new to this and are still on my learning curve, despite having dealt with leaking etc. for several years, so my posts may be limited as I don't think I can contribute that much - as things have been explained by more skilled members.

For a long time I was in denial of having problems with the plumbing, however my wife for a long time urged me to go see a doctor. And yes, it was very embarrassing coming clean to my doctor about my plumbing problems and the fact that I have had genuine accidents. he was understanding and I was told that many men my age had similar problems, which didn't help me much other than relived me a bit, since I came to an understanding that I wasn't alone on this.

Next week I'm undergoing surgery for scar tissue in my urethrae which the urologist thinks is the reason for my bladder reacting like an overactive bladder since it has to push more to get the urine out, after the operation he want's me on an OAB drug called mirabegron, to be honest I'm not that enthusiastic about it due to the side effects I have read mirabegron has. However I'm willing to give it a try anyway if it helps, great if not, well I have been dealing with this for some years now, so nothing new here.

Great discussion.

I would speculate that most of us who are active in this group have either moderate to severe incontinence or incontinence that is complicated by other health problems. Most of those with only light incontinence can get by with wearing Depends and do not need to be here.

I also would speculate that we are coping with our problems better than the general population of incontinents with similar levels of severity. I say that because those who are active here obviously are not in denial about their incontinence. We are more active in seeking information about our incontinence, and using that information, than the general population. Due to the wealth of useful information on this site available both directly from the members and in the message archive, far more useful information is available to us. In contrast, I have come across urology nurses who did not even know what a onesie is. They are ill prepared to offer advice about living with incontinence.

A final reason for being here may be emotional support. The emotional impact of incontinence can be worse than the physical aspects. Speaking for myself, I appreciate the emotional support offered by other members of this group and being able to ask a question without embarrassment of others who really understand.

--John

JD, Your last paragraph is why I stick around and to give back what this site has given me. Great point concerning the emotional support.

Sorry, JD, I do not agree with you on this statement - I might misunderstand you on this, if so then I'm sorry about it.
My incontinence is caused by OAB something my doctor and urologist told me, it's called OAB wet --> urge incontinence. Not by other health problems only my bladder behaving different than normal peoples bladder - whatever normal people are, I consider myself just as normal as everyone else ...and even though I might not fit into the category you laid out I have gained a lot of information from being here - something I'm grateful for.
My incontinence shows itself by not being light, maybe moderate to heavy, because when my bladder decides to empty, it's usually a flood, sometimes it's little other times it's the Hoover dam bursting.

Anyway again If I have misunderstood you, please excuse me.

I rather doubt JD was saying ALL. He did say the word most, after all.
However, I do think he may be correct that MOST fall into that category.

_________________
Hello, my name is Scott, and physically, I am 40 years old. However, thanks to abuse, and being special needs, mentally and emotionally, I am equal to about 6-10 years old.

We're all in this leaky boat together. We have dealt with the embarrassment, the stigma, the assault on our self-esteem, the reluctance of the medical professionals who treat us to address the emotional issues incontinence forces onto us, yet we persevere. As a group we may not be invincible; however, we are really powerful. If we are successful, we owe that success to the vast treasure of knowledge we share with each other. Perhaps the low number of folks here is a reflection of society's remaining stigma. Perhaps it is a reflection of other influences we do not yet understand. Whatever. As long as we are here for each other, we will be successful, perhaps in ways that only time will reveal.

I kind of have to agree with JD on this too. Most, if at least many, people with light or intermittent incontinence will probably not come here more than just once or twice to read the forum threads. In fact, they will not be likely to sign up and start posting them selves. Heck, Most of those people will not even think to come online to search about incontinence in the first place, and will not even be willing to talk to anyone about it (even anonymously online). There is a social stigma still attached with incontinence that most people in general will not seek out any help even from their doctors, and they will attempt to just live with it or deal with it on their own. This is why so many adult diapers are sold in stores, but seemingly so very few even know about it.