Telling the Kids

[Ted]

Well, due to the post I made below, my daughter knows all about my problems. I drove off really upset trying to put all this in perspective and not make the problem even worse. Well my wife got so upset that she called my daughter looking for me. Naturally a discussion ensued. In the process my wife revealed my incontinence problems to my daughter.

My daughter replied that she already knew. HOLY SMOKES! She said that she notices my "puffy pants" when my need to wear pops up. She told her mom that she really felt sorry for me and that getting old is hell.... I really wish I'd brought this all up a long time ago. It's caused me a lot of stress over the years. I can't tell you the load that her knowing and understanding has taken off me. my family accepting me with my issues and needs is all I really need to put this whole thing in t's place. Yesterday. WOW what a day.



when life hands me lemons make lemonade. Its these damn hand grenades that are giving me the problems.

[Patrick]

I was glad to read that your incontinence and its disclosure were less traumatic than you had feared. Hopefully, now you will be able to manage your incontinence with less stress, and, perhaps, even with the aid and consideration of your family. Good luck.

[batman381327]

Ted, Like you I have dreaded telling my son. He is 24 now. Reading how your daughter said she knew, makes me wonder if my son knows thanks to one incident. I was going into a store and he decided to stay in the truck. Well before getting to the door, he stuck he head out and said "Dad, pull your shirt down in the back." I guess my diaper was showing, but nothing was said after that.

At least, she knows and understands and it is a load off you.

[Ted]

Hi Patric and Baitman, Well the drama continues. I was over my moms and my brother was there. He is having some life issues of his own. We sat and discussed his problems and I related mine. Yeah it was unsettling to say " well, I've been wetting my pants. He never blinked an eye or fell out of his chair or anything, he just said "talk to our sister, she's had the problem too. She's been trying some pill". It was my turn to fall out of the chair! He was just so matter of fact. No judgment whatsoever. It was like him saying yeah change my oil at four thousand miles. He said talk to our sister she can give you some ideas (she's an RN).

This gave me a little strength. Enough so that when Mom got home I broached the subject with her. Her only comment about the whole thing was "well, I'm glad your going to see the doctor". Again it was like no problem it's no biggie, we still love you. So. Batman, I think we overblow the whole thing. It's no biggie until we are the ones with the problem. We create our own hell so to speak. Remember our family loves us....

[PB&J32]

I have been pretty matter-of-fact with my entire family almost since the beginning. Nobody has batted an eyelash. My 3 younger sisters are all in healthcare, one is a DPT, one is a L&D RN, one is a PA in an ER. My wife and her aunt are RN's. Everybody is understanding. I highly doubt anybody's family is going to disown them because they have problems with incontinence. Everybody we know is struggling with some kind of an issue be it mental or physical. It is just another medical condition that people deal with.
I have not been judged by anybody that I have told about this. Many of my friends have seen the Foley catheter bags because they are harder to hide than the diapers, especially in the summer when I wear shorts. Everybody that is close to me now knows that I have been struggling with bladder problems. I think you can tell them things without going into full detail, for instance I don't go out and advertise the diapers and the catheters but if somebody asks, I'm beyond being ashamed of it. Most people that you tell will feel bad for you and not make a big deal about it. Anybody that I have told realizes how personal it is and they have been more than understanding. Furthermore, lots of healthcare professionals have seen me in diapers, when you have bladder issues/ health issues and wear 24/7 you're bound to been seen at one time or another. Only one arrogant asshole doctor has been rude about it, and he was a urologist......what a dumbass, he was such a dick. He asked "why are you wearing THAT!!!???" Well, being raised by a mother who believed that if "you ask a stupid question, you get a stupid answer" I said without missing a beat, "so I don't wet my pants!!!" I should have told him to fuck himself but that was early on in this condition before I realized that most doctors are assholes.....anyway.......that was my only issue with being seen in diapers.

[Ted]

Hello everyone, I have a handful of people I feel I need to tell. There's two more in my family I need to inform. My son and my sister. There is a total of six people that I feel the need to explain. They are all very close to me. I dread there being a sudden discovery of my condition so I feel much better letting them know before I have a leak or get exposed by accident. Everyone I've told has been extremely compassionate. I can't tell you how much easier it is to deal with this without the shame and embarrassment. I feel so much better not hiding this all away. Maybe there is still light at the end of the tunnel.

[ron]

When my incontinence started the only one I had to let know was my wife she took it real open.I have been diapers since that was 15yrs ago but never easy as you don't know how they will take it.

[MSUSpartan]

I told my mother, and one of my sisters about by bedwetting. I'm going to be staying with them over the holidays. I've been back to wetting for several years, but I used my recent hospitalization as an excuse for why it's happening, so I felt like I had an easy opening to bring it up.

Neither made a big deal of it. My mom just asked how I was handling it, and my sister volunteered that my brother in law had some issues with it when switching meds after surgery.

I may be telling my mother in law tonight. I haven't decided yet.

[Porkchop]

Luckily my kids are 7 and 8 so telling them is a ways away!!

[RobertH]

Glad it went well letting your family know, it does make it easier to deal with our bladder issues.