www.incontinentsupport.org

HELLO LtsoQues
Thank you so much for posting. Don't worry about the length of your post Joe K has easily gone longer then that I'll bet I've got a few that are longer? Anyway I'm assuming your a Female Sorry for my excitement but I rarely if never get to talk to other women on here.

First off Let me say that your condition sounds a lot like what I've been through. If you go back and read my posts I've had many similar experiences. I know full well what it's like flooding yourself in public and being soaked right down to your shoes or leaving a puddle on the floor where it happen.

Anyway about the poise underwear I think you will find that those are going to be lacking for you. If you have instances where you have a stream come out or you may chance a flood. Those poise pull ups are going to be lacking. In my opinion there more for someone that just dribbles. Another draw back with pull-ups is if you need to change it's allot more to do then with a belted garment or brief. You need to take your shoes and pants off to change one of them.

Have you tried belted undergarments or you may want to try some "cheap" briefs like the Walgreen ones or Medline ultras. The cheap Briefs tend to be just a glorified belted under garment with tapes. They generally have about the same protection as a belted one but because you tape these on you can make them fit much tighter then the belted ones. Also another thing you can do if your afraid of the bulk wear a pair of snug fitting brief size underwear over your protection. Also while working out just wear a pair of baggie shorts. And make sure to wear dark colors Dark colors will help to hide any out line or worse yet a leak

I've got more to say but my name is being called. I'll get back to you.
Thank You so much for your Post ............................SANDY

Thanks for your reply. I think my post may have been somewhat confusing. A few months back I had physical therapy and haven't had any of those big incidents and can usually hold in enough time. I can actually feel my bladder now. I am a regular dribbler but when I do strenuous activities I dribble and can gush. If I have to go I have to go right away or will leak for sure during certain activities. If I'm on a long walk I won't be near a bathroom which could be a problem. I asked about the poise panties because I am concerned about the discreetness of them for walking or a workout. I don't know why they make them as a pull up because its very inconvenient to change. I'm wondering if the fact that I sometimes have urgencies, leaking with a full bladder, and all the other dribbling may be caused by weak muscles or the uti's Too bad they don't have physical therapy for bladders. One more thing is I'm wondering what to expect at a first time urologist appointment. I would be much more comfortable going to a female. I know they probably here these things all the time but its still not easy to tell someone that your wetting your pants all the time. Thanks again.

Hi again.
I know your new to this but I had to smile when I read that you were worried about discreetness with a pullup while I'm in full briefs daily often with extra boosters in them as well. But then I remember being in your shoes years ago. Or even before I had to wear daytime protection. Remember being a teenager and having to wear a Maxi for that time of the month. I thought the whole world would know I had a maxi in my pants

Getting back to your issues as long as your not wearing tight jeans or slacks etc. nobody will be able to tell you have a pullup on If you want some added security like I said before wear a pair of somewhat tight panties over your protection this will help to hold it in place and help flatten any bulk. Another thing you can wear over your protection is something called mesh panties their made for this purpose Normal panties have a way of working themselves into the crotch area along the elastic leg openings and sometimes wicking the wetness onto the panty.

When I was new to the daytime problem I was much like you I started out dribbling in my pants and I just wore a Maxi pad at first but soon discovered that wouldn't cut it. So I went to a Bladder control pad. but then after while I got what you describe as stress incontinence along with the dribbles I would give a good squirt or gush when I would pick something heavy up Laugh cough stand up sit down or sneeze was always a good one. so eventually I started wearing Belted undergarments. One note with the belted ones it's a good idea to wear panties over them to keep them in place Anyway after sometime I just kept getting worse and the belted ones weren't enough protection. But I was stubborn and refused to go to a full brief but after a number on embarrassing incidents and my husband getting on me I gave in.

As far as what to expect at the urologist it's been a long time since I went to one. So I'm not real up on what they do now days. I would agree with finding a female one. I'm totally against undressing in front of another man. Doctor or no Doctor that just isn't right When I went there years ago and had all kinds of test done ex rays dye injected in me and lots of lab work. only to hear "some people leak" and your one of them? They tried several different drugs on me. most caused so many side effects that it wasn't worth it even if they did help. So after while I found that diapers really aren't that bad as compared to what the side effects are of the drugs they put me on

Hi ltsofQues
On another note for you. Your blessed to have a problem now rather then 20 years ago. Not that being incontinent is a blessing But the fact that there are so many different choices now days as far as protection goes. Thanks in large part to the Internet. We didn't have pullups that I'm aware of 20 years ago. We had belted undergarments rather then pull ups I think there was also shields as well. If your not familiar with shields. Shields were more of a full length pad that didn't have belts or tapes but had a adhesive strip down the center that stuck to your panties. That maybe something for you to look into . I'm not sure why I never really used those early on. It may have been an issue of availability

Another reason your more blessed is the fact that in my opinion incontinence is less of a taboo then it was years ago. Not that it still isn't but with all the advertising for different incontinence products on TV it does help to make the issue more well known.

I was also going to mention that since you seem to be concerned about your protection showing you may want to look some of the old post/threads like "What not to Wear" or I also talked about it on "helping another" where I have a young friend that was new to incontinence and got thrust-ed in to full blown incontinence almost overnight. Because of a surgery she had to have she lost all control of her Bladder. She went from wearing tight shorts and Bikinis to full protection tape on diapers. Talk about a reality check She was really having a hard time with it the first few months until her mother a friend of mine asked if I could talk to her. You can read about that on the "Helping another" thread. For her in some small respects incontinence was a good thing. It made her into a much more respectable young lady at least as far as dress and how she handled herself. I also helped my new friend Jane with her ideas of dress

Anyway you had asked about some of the issues your having are due to a weak muscle? That may very well be also UTI's can cause bladder problems as well. But I'm not a doctor You may be best off talking to a doctor about that................Sandy

Thanks Sandy, you have been extremely helpful. Now that I have discussed this and gotten some encouragement I will finally see a doctor. I will try the pullup for working out and the bladder pad for everyday. Now I realize if there is a market for these products I'm not the only one who needs them and there are many other users undercover. Regular maxis don't hold urine very well. One time I was babysitting and noticed the slight odor of urine. I thought one of the kids needed a diaper change and didn't because I didn't want to accept the fact that it was me. Another time I was in a grocery store and noticed the same thing. I looked around at everyone passing by trying to look like I was blaming someone else and got out of there as quick as possible. That was my denial. This is just something you have to deal with. I'm wondering if things will improve for me if I have stronger muscles because they have already improved from where it was. I guess it is not such a big deal after all and could be much worse. I got very upset after I had those accidents and made a much bigger deal of it than needed. If I had just not been so ashamed I might not have had to have gone through that. Since I found this site I realize that my little problem is nothing compared to what some people live with. Our bodies are not ever perfect as we would like them to be, and any part can malfunction, even ones that embarrass you. You and the other people here are very courageous. When I could barley feel my bladder I stayed in the house alot and didn't go many places especially if I thought I may not be in short reach of a restroom. Here people who have no control at all lead full, productive lives. It takes alot of courage to wear diapers because of the stigma. Because of people like you on this board maybe some of the stigma will be removed and more people can be helped. Thanks, again, and again and again.

Hi LtsofQues
Your very welcome it's so nice to talk to another woman. When I started having my daytime problems I felt like I was the only young adult in the world who had incontinence. To my surprise my urologist said you would be amazed to know how many other young adults had the same problem or worse that I had. When you consider some sources say there are over 19 million people in the USA alone that have some sort of incontinence issue your not alone. Also many say that 19 million is a conservative number. Also look at the amount of shelf space many stores give to incontinence items. It's not uncommon to see 10-15 feet or more of shelf space being used. If they use that much there has to be a demand for it.

I was also going to mention that you may also want to try some other brands of Pull ups such as Tena's and Attends. Both of these make a good product. I myself wear their Full briefs fairly often I've found that Tena's are often one of the more dry feeling diapers out there even when the diaper is rather wet it feels rather dry. I've been told from my friend Tammy that wears allot of pull ups that she also likes the Tena's for that same reason. Attends is another good product you may want to try out someday.....................Sandy

Hey Ltsofques!
Sorry it took so long for me to reply. I'm so excited you joined our group, and have found Sandy as a friend. From what I've read, she has been a great help to you! As a female, she seems to have all the right answers for you. Thanks Sandy for all your post to LstofQues.
I see my urologist on an annual basis. He knows my incontinence is probably for good, but he keeps me up to date on any new advances for incontinence. He also gives me an ultrasound to make sure my bladder is looking OK every two years. I'm not that young, so he watches it closley along with my prostate. I would strongly recommend seeing a uroligist. I understand your feelings on a man over a woman doctor. I think you'll do fine with either.
Again, welcome to the board and keep the post coming!! .......Paul Martin

Thanks again Paul and Sandy. My next question is about water. Do you ever notice that you drink very little in order to avoid a potential accident? I realized today that I am unconciously doing this particularly if I will be away from home escpecially in the car or with other people. This leads to headaches, fatigue, and a very dry mouth. It does prevent alot of leakage. Doing this may be one reson why I have not had too many problems in a while. I guess its my way of keeping it under control. Today I was out shopping most of the day and didn't drink anything and had very little leaks, maybe just a few drops and didn't have to use the bathroom at all. When I came home I felt terrible. When I do this I drink alot of water when I get home in order to be close to the bathroom. Somehow I think although this works it isn't healthy.

Today when I was making my post as I said I came home and drank alot of water to rehydrate. I decided to try something. To see how long I could actually hold I drank some water and sat here writing. The water is the reason I'm still up, I just made my fifth pit stop. My goal was to hold for one hour because I got this idea that maybe I could force my bladder to get stronger by waiting. I tried really hard and lasted almost 25 minutes and with only a few steps to the bathroom I got there but still leaked alot, ruining what I considered a successful day. I know this sounds crazy, but do you ever feel like a failure or depressed for not having more control? I think the reason for putting off my doctor visit is just not feeling normal. I wish I could have asked Santa for a better bladder.

LstofQues,
I really don't think it's a good ideal to hold off you water consumption. In fact, I've read this can make your incontinence worse! I regularly drink liquids. It's very important to keep your body hydrated. I've also read that many people who are incontinent try holding back liquids to keep their accidents to a minimum.
Her's a trick I've found that effects me. For some reason, whenever I eat a helping of bread, my wetting slows down. Like if I eat a sub sandwich or rolls at dinner. Doesn't make sense, but it does effect me.

Also, yes I do get depressed once in a while with my incontinence. Usually though, I don't let it bother me. It's a fact of life for me that I'll be in diapers the rest of my life. I've accepted that. There's no need to worry about it. Just cope the best you can! There's going to be good days and bad days. It's the bad days when you leak or flood, and you weren't expecting, that will get you down. Just be ready for them. Keep the questions comeing, LstofQues. Sandy and I can answer along with other members out there. .................Paul Martin