www.incontinentsupport.org

Although, she has recently been calling them diapers more often, so it seems we may be over that hump.

I had a talk with my wife about why she uses other words when she is really meaning diapers. Words like Whites, Products, Stuff, Wash, etc. I was right, in part, about her not wanting to embarrass me by yelling up the stairs something like, "Do you want me to put your diapers on a second time? Should I hang up your plastic pants? You left a Diaper pin in one of your diapers hun!" She asked me if things were reversed and she was the one wearing diapers...what would i call them? It seemed like an easy thing to answer, why diapers of course. But i thought about it for some time and realized that i would probably use the same wording that she uses. Not because i was embarrassed about her wearing diapers or whatever, more so because i would be as sensitive as possible to protect her feelings of self. She knows that I have accepted wearing diapers as something that is unavoidable and the onsies and such to make it all more easy and or enjoyable. But she is also fully aware that deep within me is an anger that boils up at times. It angers me also when people here drag the AB/DL thing into this. They can say on any day "Not today." We can Never say that, we have no choice. And that drives me crazy more than anything else. I also have gotten over her calling 'those things' anything she wants to. Talking can be so helpful at times. Papa

I prefer when my wife calls them what they are as well......just call it a diaper....that's what it is.....it takes a while to accept being back in diapers but I think there's something about her actually using the word that tells me that she has come to accept it as I have had to. Same with the Foley catheters.......I prefer it when she just calls it what it is rather than "your things" or "that thing" or "do you want me to put your thing in??" (She still does the catheterizations because she's an ER nurse.....I've never had to do it and don't think I could, something about it makes me uneasy trying to push that catheter inside that sensitive spot!!)

I think it is natural for people to use euphemisms for very personal and potentially embarrassing things. I take daily morning preventive enemas to control my fecal incontinence. My wife refers to it as my "procedure." Of course, she is a retired RN and "procedure" is professional terminology for her. On the other hand, she does just refer to my diapers as "diapers."

--John

Haven't found any thing fun about having to ware diapers, and I really can't think of any thing that could even remotely be thought of as fun. I have found that wearing diapers is better then not if you have sudden surges it takes the stress away if you not going to make it to the bathroom in time to pee.

My wife has known of my incontinence for 9 years now, and has been very supportive. As it has gotten worse the last few years I have felt well, slightly inadequate. After all, who would find a guy in diapers sexy? Well, now she is having her own issues with incontinence and I feel more at ease about it. We need a night out away from the kids, so we can open up to each other about this.

As for the aspect of fun? There are times when wearing a diaper is very practical and convenient. I wouldn't say fun though.

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- Tom

I had to think long and hard about this topic. Everyone else has made some interesting and good posts so I will skip dealing with the emotional challenges.

The only entertaining part of needing diapers and that I can snicker at people who are continent that are desperate to find a toilet. The only time I am in a hurry and when I have on a diaper that is soiled or soaked. Then I still try not to get stressed because it won't fix anything.

Doug

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When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

I've joked with my wife when she complains about having to get up at night. She said that she has to decide if she's going to hold it, or get out of the warm bed. I just said, "Well, I don't have to do either".

I do apprecieate that part of wearing diapers. Since I have a c-pap and wrist braces I wear every night to bed, if I have to get up it is a process. So if I have to go to the bathroom it is a process. Couple that process with a weakened control system and I'm bound to not make it most nights. So my theory is, why bother? I just use the diaper, get comfortable and go back to sleep (probably a lot quicker than I would had I gotten up.)

My wife on the other hand will wake up at 3am and get up to go to the bathroom and then be wide awake and not able to go backt to sleep until the alarm goes off, then she falls asleep again.

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"Why is the rum always gone?" - Captain Jack Sparrow

"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise." -
Gore Vidal