www.incontinentsupport.org

Has anybody on this board had a person ask you if you are wearing a diaper?
What I'm getting at is a person who does not know what to look for(a bulge) or what to listen for(a rustle of plastic) or a slight odor(a wet diaper) this person has no ideal you have a diaper on!
Only a person wearing a diaper knows what to look for and what to listen for.
So many people get hung up on the ideal that every body can tell you're wearing a diaper if you go out in public. Even if I'm wearing a diaper that has a crinkle sound, I don't worry since the average Joe or Jane thinks nothing of the sound or even thinks anything of it.
I'm sure there are some of the AB/DL crowd would love you to notice that they're wearing a diaper. It probably gives them a thrill. But any incontinent person who has to wear a diaper doesn't need to worry about the outside world. Believe me friends, they all have their lives to live and won't give a thought about what you have on under your clothes!!
Just my thoughts on that subject. ...................Paul(Martin)

I've been thought this discussion before. And I totally disagree. If your wearing a plastic diaper that makes a crinkling sound when you move or walk you know like crinkle crinkle crinkle with every step you take your going to get noticed Maybe not by everyone but your going to get noticed sooner or later. But then there are different degrees of noise. If your wearing Depends Briefs or secure and or attends with the waist band or a few other ones that are good noise makers. Also depending on how your dressed can play into it as well. Under a loose pair of pants without anything over the top of the diaper such as Mesh pants or some fairly tight underwear to cut down on the noise and help keep your diaper in place. You run a good chance of being found out.

Paul I love talking with you on here and most of the time I think we see eye to eye. But on this one I think it's kind of like a child covering their eyes and say You can't see me

I for one have been pointed at giggled at in the past but that's been sometime now. Back before the Internet and I didn't have the choices I have now. Back in the days when the only name brands that were readily available were Attends and Depends and some off brand store Brands.

Please if your reading this and you do feel insecure with your problem. And don't want to be in public for fear of being found out. My heart truly goes out to you. Please read the primer and many of the other posts that are on this board that help to deal with the issues of trying to hide your problem. There is probably hours of discussions on what to wear and what not to wear spread out in different threads on this board.

Or please post a question and ask one of us There are several Veterans to incontinence on this board that would be happy to help in anyway we can.................. Sandy

Sandy,
You had many good points in your reply. I was taking for granted that people who are wearing a disposable diaper knew what brands are bad a making noice and which are very quiet.
I believe if you buy a good brand of disposable that is not greatly bulky, you can easily hide the fact that you're wearing a diaper. But you have to know how to dress too, as you pointed out. I was being a little too ahead of myself to think anyone who is new to incontinence would know all these things.
The primer here on this site is a valuable sourse for information to people who have become incontinent recently. I believe with the information available on the primer and asking questions on this forum, a person who is incontinent and wants to conceal their diaper can do so without hyaving the fear some one is going to know their wearing a diaper.
I'm trying to tell people, don't hide inside your house because you have to wear a diaper for your incontinence. The protection available and help from this board should give confidence to any new or long time sufferer of incontinence. ..........................Paul (Martin)

I have indeed been asked what the noise was that I was making, one time, many years ago, when I was walking in a very quiet hallway with a co-worker. I simply told him it must be my diaper making noise again, that the noise was a LOT better than wet pants, and few ever noted it.

He asked a few questions, (since we're both medical folks he had an interest) and was quite satisfied with my answers. He agreed that wet pants would be MUCH less socially acceptable.... (wink)

Live your life, no matter what underwear you're wearing. Don't let your problems define you, but let your solutions demonstrate your capacity to adapt and thrive!

Amen Brwmeistr9!
In a very quiet place, you'll probably hear the crinkle sound. My office is so noisy you can't hear it. With the outer cloth type diapers, there isn't much noise. And of course cloth diapers/plastic pants are completely silent.
Not being afraid to admit to someone that you're wearing diapers is courageous. You certainly are correct in your logic! Thanks for the post! I've been looking for some long time members coming back. ................. Paul Martin

Hey Brwmeistr9
Good to here from another person. I love what you said in your closing that could apply to many things I'm going to modify the beginning of that make it into a sign form and hang that up in the shop. Some of our Guys could benefit from your wisdom.............Sandy

I read through this post and did not take the time to think on that last line. Sandy, you're right! That line can be used on anything in life. Good move there, Brwmeistr9! ..................Paul Martin

I'd have to agree that most people won't notice your diaper. But noise may draw attention to you, leading them to notice other things...put a few signs together and they might conclude that you are wearing a diaper.

For me, I don't care what most people know. The general public doesn't know you, so if they know you're wearing a diaper, so what? They'll either think there's a good reason, or conclude that you just like it. Even if they think you are at all ABDL, you don't know them anyway.

Most adults have enough decorum not to point it out. Most are probably just glad that it's not them!

I have worried about this, but there is no evidence to support any concern on my part. The rustling or noise is not an issue, even with crinkly plastic pants over my diaper. My pants silence everything and any notice is due to my self-consciousness, I've come to realize.
I don't wear pants made of light material if I'm wearing plastic pants or a thicker diaper. A regular disposable like a Super, rather than a Super Plus, for instance, hides nicely - if my butt is a bit larger than normal, who other than me knows what's normal for me, anyhow.
I bought some pads and briefs to hold 'em in place, and I have tried pull-ups, but don't feel secure in them: they've leaked in the past. Maybe I'll get around to a pad in a pull-up, but why mess (so to speak) with success?

Great posts, everyone!

I wish I could add something new, but can't!

Rocketman adds a great point that most adults have the decorum to ignore something that might be a diaper crinkling as we walk.

I'd be more fearful that a youngster, lacking such inhabitions, and perhaps not far out of diapers themselves, might recognize the sound and blurt out, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing a diaper?"

Diaper noise and related things such as ripping a tape in a public stall during a change have been topics discussed routinely. The tips and secrets to minimizing or eliminating noise has been well covered but I'll repeat one for any newbies. If you can't afford a "premium" diaper and must wear a noisy diaper, try wearing cotton briefs over it. That alone will stop much (but maybe not all) of the objectionable noise.

Diaper bulk with disposables is less of an issue and we are very lucky to have Sandy as a frequent poster who is providing excellent info relative to women and their concerns about what to wear. Most of us guys simply can buy our pants one size up from before diapers and we are good to go.

JoeK