www.incontinentsupport.org

I am ok with the physical part at the moment the process of purchasing, changing, cleaning etc. The part I have most difficulty at the moment is with the mental part (acceptance) of actually being incontinent one moment I am ok an just shrug my shoulders and the next I want to sometimes cry especially when I look in the mirror and see I am wearing a diaper. To those of you who are more experienced at all this I do assume that this does get better over time? Are there any fun bits to relieve some of the mental stress?

It does get better. As for "fun", im not sure youd call it fun..diaper rash isn't what id call fun..but there are times when it is more convienent to wear diapers than to have to rely on the toilet..for urination, at least... using it for no 2 is definetly not convinent. I know in my own experience when they told me at work that we won't be able to use the the bathroom for 2 hours, i smiled inwardly because i didn't have to worry about toilets at all with the ConfiDry brief that i was wearing.. so there are advantages. though id gladly forgo those if i regained control.

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Greenbank,

You are so right about the emotional aspect of incontinence. I used to feel depressed whenever I experienced a bowel accident, particularly when away from home and having to deal with the situation and the stress. Our doctors usually do not do much to help us along those lines.

I think that Sociologygeek is correct that it gets better - at least for most of us. We become more accepting, plus, we probably become more hardened with dealing with the necessities of our incontinence. For example, I usually have to use digital stimulation in order to prompt a bowel movement. Initially that really freaked me out. While not fun, these days it is just another part of my morning routine.

For me, wearing a diaper is a necessity, but when I was having fairly severe bladder incontinence, it was convenient not to have to get up in the middle of a movie in a public theater and go to the restroom.

--John

It can be convenient, for sure. Car trips, wanting to sleep in, movies, in a place with a nasty restroom. But fun? IDK. I've not been incontinent for long (less than a year), so I'm still feeling what you're feeling I guess.

I've had difficulties with bladder and bowel control for more than thirty years. In August, 1999, I had a urinary sphincterotomy, which guaranteed that I would never again control my bladder. Fun? No! However, I am occasionally amused by folks who complain about medical issues that, to me, seem really quite minor. And their complaints reassure me that I am indeed managing my incontinence so well that nobody knows I'm wearing protection.

Not at all fun, but can certainly be convenient, that's for sure... & I agree Partick, it is a real moral boost when no one around you knows or can even tell that you have a slightly different style of underwear on then most others! Puffy

_________________
Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Fun? Not for me.

However, it does have some advantages, like stated above...LOL

For the most part, though, it is a royal pain in the butt, no pun intended....

_________________
Hello, my name is Scott, and physically, I am 40 years old. However, thanks to abuse, and being special needs, mentally and emotionally, I am equal to about 6-10 years old.

I wouldn't have used the word "fun" to describe it, but I can think of times of been grateful for, or found convenient or enjoyed the fact that I was wearing protection. I recently went to the movies with one of my best friends. He's been really supportive of me and my various health issues, including incontinence. And he's also shared that he's struggled with strong IBS-like symptoms for years (not ever diagnosed as Crohn's or Celiac disease but similar G.I. issues...). We went to go see The Edge of Tomorrow (Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt) together a couple weeks ago and he had to get up 3 times before and during the movie while I........ didn't. I felt bad for him and I found myself thinking "I'm sure glad I can just wear a diaper and enjoy the movie". He admitted to me as we were talking later that he's thought about going down the road of using protection but he's not ready yet. He also admitted that he was somewhat envious that I could do it without it seeming to bother me too much at least now.

By the way, I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan but I thoroughly enjoyed The Edge of Tomorrow. It's like Groundhog Day on crack.

CJ

Fun? For me, that's not the right word. I'd choose the phrase "Practical with Benefits". We all know the challenges: costs, experimenting with what works/not, trial & error (ugghh), revealing to family and friends, etc. But on the flip side, when we go on our extended family driving trips, I'm the designated night time driver since I can drive the longest and only have to stop when we need to gas up! Or when we travel, I'm the one with the bulkiest luggage. But then we have storage space on the return trip back!

Yes, the mental aspect does get easier over time. Diaper usage is just another tool to help our bodies cope with the inevitable breakdown of the body. It's a tool like a hip replacement or back brace or spinal fusion plates. The only difference is the diaper is more visible to the wearer and needs constant attention.

I suppose the best part is the ability not to have to go to the toilet as often as others and to be able to remain in bed all night - even after a few beers. Most of my 30 odd years with this condition I have been using an sheath (external catheter) or a supra-poubic catheter and 2 litre drainage bag so never had to worry at night. Daytime, I used an 800ml bag so that worked well too.

These days, though, things have changed and my bladder has become much less inclined to empty itself and gave up this abilty earlier in the year. Thus I am dry all the time, just like I had control, except, of course, I don't I have to empty with intermittent catheters every so often. The fun part for all who have so far posted is that I now, most of the time, end up getting up in the night to empty. Even though I haven't any feel below the belly button, I start to feel more and more uncomfortable until I can't get back to sleep. I make up for it, though with my record empty of 1.5 litres a couple of nights ago!

I suppose, like any other failed bit of the body, like is either a pain or a relief. I could sit and gripe about sitting in my wheelchair or I could go out, climb a steepish hill and enjoy a delightful whoosh down the hill like I might have done as a boy! Guess which I do... I suppose incontinence has caused mre more problems than the wheelchairs (although some I had in the '80s had things to answer for!) but once one has a solution that works well, one can just get on with something more interesting. Take my old Quickie GPV chair I got 9 years ago from our health service. It has been round Canada (Niagara and the Rockies) Cypus and round Berlin last year as well as all over the UK. It is now doomed and a new Kuschall K4 is due to arrive soon - I hope it knows what its in for!