www.incontinentsupport.org

I made the shift to wearing high-capacity diapers to handle my urge incontinence a couple years ago. I'm a psychologist and as my problems with strong urges got increasingly worse during the day, I began to recognize that it was severely interfering with my ability to do my job. I cannot, for example, get up and walk out in the middle of an emotionally charged session with an upset client to go use the restroom. Nor can I be of any use to my client if I'm sitting there thinking, "Don't wet my pants! Don't wet my pants!". So while I can at times and do still use the restroom when I'm able to make it without interrupting a session, and though I could probably make the restroom if I got up and walked out of a session, that would not be fair to the person I'm assisting. The first time I made the conscious decision to use my diaper in the middle of a session, I was still freaking out internally for a few moments but I quickly got my $hit together and got my focus back where it needed to be. That was the day I realized diapers were necessary but also allowed me to go back to being the counselor I need to be for the people I'm serving. I guess I'm making my peace that I'm coming to need the protection more and more and I do worry that the control I do have will fade entirely. But I just didn't see any other alternative.

CJ

I'm a masters level therapist myself in community mental health. My problems just became severe a couple months ago. I'm still hoping medications will help. I've basiccly come to the same decision as you. Clients needs come first. I'm doing tena pull-ups at this time. Some sessions I make it okay and others I'm desperate to go 15 minutes in. It's taken all my focus at that point, so I try to let go. I find if I'm sitting sometimes it is hard to force myself to let go discreetly. Typically if I stand up I lose control at that point. I use a board for CBT a lot. I will often use that as an excuse to stand up. I typically wet two to three times throughout the day. I usually have to change at least once. I tried a diaper once, but felt too embarrassed and self conscious. I wasn't sure how I would explain it to clients or coworkers. I think it would be easier than sneaking a pull-up in the bathroom and stripping. Depending how long it lasts I will probably get to that point eventually. I'm doing okay with it, but still have some work to do on accepting it. I just started a med today so I'm waiting to see how that works. What diapers do you typically use. Have you ever had client notice or mention anything.

Thank goodness I've never had a client notice that I know of. I've "outed" myself to a small handful of clients that shared their incontinence with me and I've told my boss and another coworker/friend about my incontinence. The clients really appreciated my self disclosure and my coworkers, also psychologists, handled the news beautifully. I'm to the point where sharing that I'm incontinent not only is getting easier but it's been taking stress off of me cuz I'm not nearly so worried about hiding it now.

As for diapers, I sprung for some of the Tena Slip Maxis and I got totally hooked. They are so thin and yet so incredibly absorbent that I feel totally safe in them during the day at work. They're so darned expensive though that I hoard them and only use them at work. They disappear under Dockers and they're virtually silent and the tapes just do not fail. Man I wish Tena would make these available in the US so I could wear them all the time. For all other non-work situations I've begun using the new A+ level 3 from XP Medical. Goodness knows I've tried just about everything on the market. I have to use plastic backed diapers because the cloth like ones chafe my legs terribly. Plus I think plastic conceals odor better which makes me feel more confident at work. The thing I noticed about wearing a full diaper at work is that I can pee while still sitting down and not worry about leaks. I admit I still worry about having a flood while sitting cuz most diapers will fail if you overwhelm them too quickly while sitting. Yes, I had to learn that the hard way.

Nice to talk to another counselor. I'm also a CBT devotee and I do a lot of training for our practicum students and interns on this approach.

CJ

I've been trying different "stealth" diapers so I can find ones that work for the office. Most don't fit comfortably. I've tried putting undies over them to limit the noise. I probably need larger size pants. I've tried tena ultra but they leaked. I'm probably not taping right. I'm still trying to get the diapering technique down. At home I've been using atn with a booster at night and those work well. I haven't tried the absorbency plus yet but am curious. I work mainly with children , foster kids, low income, migrant families. I see a lot of children with enuresis. I haven't decided if it would be helpful to share or not. I know since going through this I've been pushing families to work through a urologist more. I've seen several families were they see the urologist once, and are told that they didn't find a cause. So a lot of families will automatically say its intentional. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's trauma. What I'm finding out though is the cause of incontinence and wetting is not always easy to identify. We still don't know exactly what's going on with me after tons of visits. Definitely makes me think more when I work with kids with these issues and I don't see much improvement.

MightyChipmunk,

Re good candidates for "stealth" diapering, I recommend that you try the new final version of the Wellness Superio Signature diaper. It has a high absorbent capacity, is thin, has strong tapes, and a plastic front taping panel which facilitates removing and reattaching the tapes. Normally I reinforce the tapes on my diapers but have not had to do so with the Wellness. IMHO, they are like a less expensive version of the Tena Slip Maxi! A discount coupon is made available to anyone who registers on their Web site and frequently in the incontinence forums.

For best "stealth" wear a pair of compression shorts over the diaper. I use the UnderArmour compression shorts or pants and find that they very effectively smooth out any bulges or outline. As a bonus benefit, they also help secure the leg elastics of the diaper more snugly against the thighs to reduce leaks.

Best wishes,
--JD

I got my free sample of the new Superio from Wellness last week and I have to agree with JD's brief review. I really didn't like the initial version of the Wellness diapers so I wasn't expecting much but I was very pleasantly surprised. I plan on ordering a case to mix in with the Tena Slip Maxi's I have left and if they perform the way the sample did, I may have found my new favorite for wearing to work at a much lower cost. I only use my Tena's for work because they're so expensive so it would be nice to have something I can just wear all the time and not worry about it.

CJ