rocketman wrote:
Well, following a couple of urologist visits, we've discovered that I have strong bladder contractions and urges long before I should. Apparently normal is around 160 ml, and mine were around 80 ml. So now I know the cause of my incontinence problems, so that's good.
Here's the thing that I'm not sure about. The doctor gave me a whole slew of drugs. He literally came in with a small bag full of drug samples. Honestly, it felt like I had just gone to the mall! I haven't started them yet, and right now I'm thinking I might not.
Realistically, my incontinence has not had a big effect on my life, and I'm not sure that medicating it is necessary. Why put a bunch of chemicals in my body when I can effectively deal with this with by wearing different underwear? Frankly, the pads and diapers don't bother me that much.
It just made me think about the quest for perfection in our society. You can get laser surgery so your eyes are perfect and plastic surgery so you look "perfect." There are drugs to stop every kind of minor nuisance from hair loss to, well, minor incontinence. I'm not perfect. I wear glasses because my eyes aren't perfect, and I wear diapers because my bladder isn't perfect. So what!
There are plenty of people whose problems get in the way of their life, and drugs and other treatments may work for them. I don't mean to come out against that. But for me, I'll just keep my diapers on.
Hello All,
I found this Forum by following a link on my ISP's homepage called 'The Ten Most Embarrassing Health Conditions You Need To Ask Your Doctor About'. Out of curiosity, I followed the series of links to here.
Rocketman, I found your post compelling enough that I had to register in order to answer it.
I used to have stress incontinence, and it was getting progressively worse. As a gymnast at the time, I couldn't wear normal padded protection because the outlines would show under a leotard. But, a pantiliner and tampon wasn't effective to hold back the sudden leaks that would soak around the edges of my underwear. My gymnastics career was going to come to a rapid halt and in desperation I asked for the number of my mother's urologist as she was dealing with heavy stress incontinence herself and I made an appointment. This was in 2002. As it turned out, a surgery had been developed which put a mesh band over the urethra to do the job that the muscles around the bladder were failing to do. I had the surgery, and the trade off now is it takes me longer to urinate and it's a thinner flow. I also no longer can have natural childbirth - only a cesaerian. But it is a welcome trade off in exchange for progressing to briefs or diapers - whatever you want to call them - within the next five to ten years. I was able to continue the sport of gymnastics and finish it when
I wanted to, not when my bladder forced me to.
Your paragraph on the quest for perfection in society - you almost sound like you have given up and that's your way of dealing with it. Or, it sounds like resignation - that you have accepted your condition as is. I don't know as emphasis and facial expressions don't come through in posts, but I do know this - I don't believe it is a quest for perfection that motivates people to do these things, but rather a quest to be normal or, to be able to continue through life as before without a handicap.
I had eye surgery done in 99' to correct and deal with my deteriorated vision after a long term illness - which by then I had recovered from - had stolen it. I ended up with perfect eyesight for which I praise God for. This wasn't a question of seeking perfection so I wouldn't be blighted or look silly for wearing glasses but a question of dealing with a very real handicap that even the strongest glasses couldn't help. It was available to me, I jumped at it, my life wasn't perfect afterwards and I didn't expect it be, but I COULD SEE. This in turn meant I could drive and go to work and lead a normal life.
I think everyone wants to be normal and fit in with mainstream society and unfortunately, in spite of all the handicapped laws that exist, the workplace and society is not very forgiving of limitations. My eyesight would have prevented me from doing some of the jobs that are in my field and it would have been a problem for my company to accomodate me, so I did what I could and had my end of things 'fixed' since that option was available to me. I don't believe for a minute that any of you here would shirk at the chance to fix your bladder and get out of protection forever if you had the sudden golden opportunity to do so. The same goes for your eyes and other parts of your body. We all want to be 'normal' and fit within society.
It has nothing to do with seeking perfection; it is simply not normal to involuntarily wet or soil one's pants - even in most animals this is not normal. When my eight cats have to go, they go to the other end the house to the cat boxes, dig a hole, squat and go. There is nothing involuntary about it. And I believe that is what incontinent people, blind people, lame people etc. are after - normalcy - not perfection.
If you have accepted your 'diapers' as a course for your life and you are fine with it, ok. But understand that for others, they will keep fighting and going to their doctors and trying to find a cure. Maybe they should learn to live with it. But I find it highly commendable to those people while they have accepted their condition, they still fight and try to find a solution or repair to that failing bladder or other body part. Such is the human struggle, sort of like the stork that is trying to swallow the frog and the frog has his hands around the stork's throat to keep himself from getting swallowed.
I hope I don't come across as judging you. That certainly is not the case. I truly understand where you and others here are, having been there and I hope you keep up the fight while you live your daily life in acceptance of where you are today. A surgery or treatment that is not here today, may be here tomorrow, so keep hope alive and keep in contact with your doctor.