www.incontinentsupport.org

my innermost thoughts now.
I started having trouble when I was about 25 (I'm 63½ now). Dr's first said it was emotional as I was going through a divorce at the time. It got worse and other symptoms emerged. In 1983 the University of Oregon Neurology dept finally said I had MS.
I wear disposable all the time. But I like Abena or Bambino. In fact I like the Bambino better. Problem is that the "Blanco" (all white) is out of stock till next month and I need to order more. They have the "Classico" in stock but they have baby prints on them. Do I get the AB/DL ones or order more Abena? Not sure what I'll so although I do like plastic pants in colors, just not sure about ordering two cases of the "babyish" diapers to tide me over till the Blanco come in again! My wife just says to order what ever i want although I haven't said anything about the printed ones.

Deen

Who's to decide what you are or aren't?

Deen, Baby Print or plain they are still diapers. If you walked around in just your diapers it might make a difference but under clothes it is a non issue. Use what you find is best and works. All the talk about AB/DL is sort of really silly when reguardless of what your diapers look like they are still Diapers - " a rose by any other name..." If they keep you dry and confident what the hell does it matter what they look like? Wearing prints or plain or colors dosen't make it anyless, or any more, a Diaper. You know who you are and that is all that matters. Papa

A point; It is not what is on your body but what is in your mind
that matters. Diapers of any kind, style or look do not make you ab/dl - that is an attitude - not a condition. All this "am i dl or arn't I" is such a waste of time. Incontinence is what it is, dealing with it is multi facited and we all try to do our best. After time we are pretty good at it, but life throws us curves about this as it does everything. Papa

Quite right, Papa. However I rather think that the AB/DL nomenclature applies really to the continent rather than the incontinent. We the incontinent have no choice but to use protection in order to carry on a normal life whilst I think the AB/DL people on the whole do not have a continence problem but like the idea of wearing diapers (nappies in the UK) anyway.

As far as I am concerned, I have been diagnosed with MS for over 25 years and haven't had a dry night since. I rather like the towelling nappy I wear as it allows me to wake up dry but that doesn't make me a DL.

Cali, dribbling is what I do. I've only been doing it enough to matter for two months now (I dribbled a bit for about three months previously but the amount was so small I brushed it off as nothing). Still, I need pads or pullups during the day or I'll develop a very visible wet spot and even my light dribbling can do a number on the bed without protection.

Anyway, I still haven't been diagnosed yet. My uro thinks it's either a weak sphincter, something neurological or the beginnings of OAB. Would you mind telling me your diagnosis, since it sounds so much like what I have?

Thanks,

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Fred

I've looked at some of the AB/DL sites, and have come up with the following thoughts.

With regard to AB's: This is a weird one. Why would a, let's say 30 year old, want to be an Infant anymore than be an Invalid, and if you have Adult Babies, I wonder if there is such a thing as "Child Geriatrics" - children who want to be elderly, and walk with canes, use hearing aids, etc. Early childhood does have a very attractive aspect which is being free from the responsibilities and pressures of adult life, and that seems to be the general attraction for the ABs (and we all live with these pressures). If I wanted to enjoy the "peaceful" bliss of childhood again, I would not become an Adult Baby, I would quit my job, get a divorce, win the lottery, and retire to a nice little Caribbiean Island that the tourist Cruise Lines never heard of.

With regard to DLs: There are so many sexual ... what is the word I'm looking for... abnormalities, and this is just another one of them. Looking at some of the pictures on AB/DB websites, I don't find any turnon seeing an attractive girl wearing a diaper, any more than a Jock Strap, or what ever else you might possibly conceive of. Sandy you got it right with the word Perversion, and I don't think you are a DL in the least, just a relaxed and well-adjusted Incon.

Sandy, in an early post on this topic said " I find a sense of comfort and security in my protection". And this thought has been repeated in some other posts. Well that's how I feel about my diapers as well, and I've wondered at times about the diaper lover stuff then I saw this movie which kind of explains it. It's called The ShawShank Redemption and it's about people who have been in prison for a long time. One of the imates (Brooks) who had been there for 40 years is released and commits suicide because he can't make it on the outside. So "Red", another inmate describes Brooks as being "Institutionalized", and he makes this statement about Institutionalization" in regards to the prison walls: "At first you hate them, then you come to accept them, then you come to depend upon them". The thought of wearing my old Fruit of the Loom or Hanes underpants frankly scares the heck of of me, even a skimpy Depends pullup when I've been drinking alot of fluids can be un-nerving. If I restrict fluids (as to type and quantity) and remain attentive and empty my bladder every 20 minutes (not much of a life) , I can get by with a Depends pullup and feel protected and secure, so the name of the game is really protection to handle whatever may come out.

This was an interesting thread, hope you don't mind if I chime in a bit late. I've had incontinence issues for over 30 years. When it first began, there were no Depend "briefs" so at first I suffered through disposable baby diapers. My Drs. were no help at all. To this day, I think Drs. think protection is the last thing to use. I finally discovered Attends in special medical supply stores. A case was almost as big as a refrigerator . They didn't work too well, but much better than taped together baby diapers. I've posted in another thread that I eventually was diagnosed with having type II diabetes, probably before my incontinence started but no Dr. ever tested me for it. My feet thank the Drs. for that not. I have not become totally incontinent yet, but it does seem to be getting worse.

I thought I was some freak. What 23yo wets his pants? I hid it from my wife before we got married in fear of what she would think. It only took 3 months before I had to deal with it after getting married. My wife was furious. I can't blame her. Just to settle any concern, we celebrated our 35 anniv. last week. So not only did I think I was a freak, so did my wife. I hated diapers but I hated accidents more. So I coped with it, feeling like an idiot, fearing someone might find out my secret. During my 30 some years dealing with this, I've valued my continence when possible. But the internet changed everything. I guess everyone hear remembers their first search for "diapers". I discovered I wasn't the freak I thought I was. I read the posts and had real trouble understanding the AB crowd but at that early time, not sure DLs were identified as being different. I still hated diapers, mostly because of the stigma in my mind what babies wear diapers and I was surely no baby (I'm 6'4" and 250 lbs). But I found people on the boards that talked about better diapers and ways to keep free of leaks. I sure identified with that. As time went on and I kept reading boards, both AB and Incon boards. I've seen the AB takeover of boards. At some point, I began to have a different attitude about diapers. Since I didn't need them 24/7/365, I needed to decide when the time to chance continence came. I didn't want to feel lazy or whatever people say about convenience usage.

Over the years, I began to get a secure feeling when I wore diapers. I slowly went from hate to like. I now consider myself a DL, but to me, it means Diaper Liker, not Lover. I get no sexual feeling from wearing diapers, wetting or pooping diapers, seeing others in diapers, although I will admit that I have seen some photos that do sexual stimulate me, but I will insist that I'm a "normal" male and I like cute girls even if they are wearing diapers .

So if there is perversion in being a AB/DL, I'm not one, but if one can have pleasure from the security of a good diaper without the fetish thinking, then I welcome being a DL, because how I felt before being exposed to that "culture" was not at all pleasant and I wouldn't go back for anything. I'd rather someone think I'm an AB because I wear diapers sometimes than feel like a freak for 10-15 years. That was awful.

Dan

Hey All,

After reading everyone's posts I thought I would throw my two cents into the ring!  My husband is an AB and has been for as long as he can remember.  When he first told me I was weirded out but I love him so I learned to accept it as simply part of his quirks and then I moved on.  I moved from tolerating it to accepting it and now I embrace and enjoy it very much.  I agree that the vast majority of AB's online are freakishly rude but there are normal, well adjusted individuals with this kink as well.  Having said that, my husbands incontinence issues came after his tour in Iraq and the fun parts of the AB games are not enough to make any sane person wish to become incontinent.  I guess that because I have seen both sides of this issue I definitely recognize both sides of the argument and I appreciate that this forum keeps them seperate!!

Vicky     

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Vicky Wells