Hi Thank you for your Post
I'm very sorry to here of your situation

My heart truly goes out to you. If that isn't incontinence I don't know what it is. It sounds like Urge incontinence to me with a little over flow as well.
Care givers of disabled people can often be very shallow and close minded thinkers. You'd think after doing the amount of laundry that is being done. Diapers would be a no brainier. So what if it's intentional or not. I feel so bad for you really I do. If you were close by to me I'd march right over there and give those people a piece of my mind on your behalf!!
It sounds as if you are capable of changing yourself. So it's just an expense thing. What really sucks is your over in the U.K I'm assuming. Over there you have access to quality diapers that most of us over here only dream about. American made diapers for the most part suck

There are a few exceptions. In my opinion the two best we have come from your side of the pond and are very $$$
I really wish I could do or say something more for you........Sandy
