www.incontinentsupport.org

Well Joe, your gripe about AB/DLs "taking over" other legit IC forums and trying to push their own agenda is certainly understood. It is a problem that many of us in the community fight with on an almost daily basis... but unfortunately there is a faction of AB/DLs who are, well, immature. They go from board to board posting their garbage, lies, and tasteless made up stories in hopes of getting gratification from people's responses. It is actually a widespread issue and happens as much on AB/DL boards as it does on IC ones.

What I would like people to understand is that these individuals are actually a minority within the group. Amazingly enough the AB/DL lifestyle is spreading and the community is growing at a rapid pace. The internet, acknowledgment by the medical community, and some reasonably favorable media coverage is causing awareness of us to increase at a pace never before seen. This leads to what I like to call growing pains. Other fetish and alternative lifestyle communities (BDSM, gay, transgender, etc.) have existed for hundreds of years and are built upon a set of behavioral standards that the vast majority of folks adhere to in order to blend effectively with vanilla society. AB/DL has really only existed as a unified community since the 90's, so those guidelines aren't established yet. Which leads to the asinine behavior that so many of us despise.

_________________
~~PuddleGuy

Hey joe long time no talk as always your right on subject I was sorry to see Papa got so upset I may have got to deep in here on the emotional side

When I spoke of Jane and I that we are in a mutual agreement that there are"times" that one gets a sensation. it's not like (how should I say this) When it happens it's not like some huge sensation. It's not an all the time thing. It's not something one goes looking for or try's to repeat. it's just something that happens once in a while. I don't know what the trigger is? I don't know if it's just a certain position that our woo hoo is in and or maybe it's during that time of the month when we are more sensitive to arousal ? I've never really searched it out? I flooded a little while ago and the only sensation I got from that was an urge to go change

But then the other side to all this is being comfortable with yourself and surroundings. Case in point my "young friend" I don't see her that much nowadays I see her mother more often. I think there was a season there that she needed me to comfort and teach her. She needed someone to grap her by the had take her out in the world and teach/show her that you can do this She had a total reversal in her life. One day she was a drop dead gorgeous young lady on the beach in a two piece. One surgery later bladder is junk and she is in diapers the rest of her life I still really feel for her But at the same time I see how she came out of it and I think it has in many ways changed her for the better. She is now comfortable with herself. She dresses in a much more professional/conservative way. She wears cloth diapers more often then not, Even when out in public and thinks nothing of it.

On another note I think it was papa was saying he has a problem with the word "Diaper" I've never had a problem with that. It maybe that I grew up with them I've always had to wear them at night. During the day through out my life I've had to wear some form of protection most of the time whether it be a pad strap on or belted pad etc. So I guess for me if you have to tape it pull it or pin it on whatever it's a Diaper. I have no problem calling it that. to me Protection is a pad that only covers a certain area not something that goes both up the front and back.

I have to go Jane is calling me out to the shop? (love you guys)
......................Sandy

Great discussion people. We all have to realize that there is most definately a difference between being a DL and one who relies of diapers for managing incontinence. DL's love wearing diapers without the physical need to wear them. I love the fact that I am able to remain an active individual because I wear diapers. Would I wear them if I didn't need them? No. I've read that many DL's have a psycological need to wear diapers. If this is so then I have no problem with them wearing as long as they do not mock those of use who rely on diapers for managing our incontinence. I never knew there was such a thing as an ab or a dl until I became incontinent and ran into several ab/dl sites while surfing for incontinece sites. At first I was very offended by these sites. Like many of you I began to wonder if I fell into that dl catagory.

Papa's mention of how he felt when he first tried cloth diapers pretty much mirrors how I felt. I had difficulty accepting disposable diapers but nothing like my resistance to cloth diapers. After a few days I became a cloth diaper supporter. I could again sleep all night (on my side even ) and not have to worry about leaking like I often did with disposables. I still wear disposables when travelling and such but for the most part I wear cloth. I find cloth to be more comfortable to wear than disposables and properly pinned cloth diapers "stay up" better than dispoables over time, especially once then are wet. Disposable adult diapers have come leaps and bounds since I first tried them a dozen years ago and I'm certain that there are brands out there that would work as well as cloth does but it is hard to beat cloth for comfort, relyability and price.

I have to wear diapers. Do I love them, no, but I love them for the freedom they give me to lead a "normal" life. Does that make me a diaper lover? Its all in the way you interpret the meaning. The thing is don't take wearing diapers so seriously, there are worse thing to worry about in life. Life is a well-drink from it.

I can't add anything to this discussion that hasn't already been said. I just hope that we can keep the postings in this forum for those with real incontinence issues rather than seeing this forum become some kind of a AB/DL website.

I don't think out Fearless leader would allow it to become a AB/DL board. Besides as one of the moderators I would have no problem deleting that kind of trash. I'm sure Paul and Joe would do the same.
.......................Sandy

I've always found the AB/DL crowd a little odd. I just cannot wrap my head around the idea of gaining pleasure or enjoying the use of diapers or acting like an infant. However if thats what you want to do then who am I to say otherwise?

Now acceptance is a whole other issue. I'm the type of person who would drop dead of embarrassment if I happened to have an accident in public. So in order to prevent that I accept the using of diapers to control it. I feel that I would have less of a problem if people discovered I wore diapers rather than discovering I wet my pants.

Would I wear one if I didn't need a diaper? I don't think so. However I can see where it might be useful. Movies and concerts would be a big one for me as I love attending those kinds of events.

Thank you, Sandy, for the vote of confidence; you are right on in assuring folks that this forum won't fall to the AB/DL crowd!

Welcome FarDistance, always great to see new folks coming aboard!

When you say you can see times that a diaper might be useful, you have touched on the use of diapers by people who don't (normally) need diapers but wear them in certain circumstances. The best known is astronauts...until recently there was no toilet and they wore diapers. Others include deep sea (hardhat) divers who will be down for many hours as the descent and assent is a lengthy process. Some tower workers wear diapers since they will be "aloft" for long periods of time and don't need the discomfort of "having to go" and the loss in productivity in getting down off the tower and then back up again.

I am sure none of these people are diaper lovers. They consider the diaper just a tool to help get the job done, while keeping themselves comfortable so as to concentrate on the job at hand.

You mention concerts or sporting events..... and again, a diaper makes sense from a practical standpoint, especially for someone with a "weak" bladder who, under most circumstances, doesn't need a diaper but opts for one for the long events so they can be relaxed and enjoy the event they paid good money for. A diaper makes sense and doesn't brand them DLs.

My two cents!

Joe K brings up an interesting point. Wearing and using diapers not out of need but as a "tool". Before any of us were incontinent I doubt that anything could have convinced us to wear and use a diaper for any reason. Now we wear, and use, diapers 24/7. Here is the question i pose; If today you were totaly cured of incontinence - would you have any problem wearing and using a diaper for any specific reason? ie. Long car rides, a crowded event, a movie, under bulky winter clothes for something like ski mobiling or just to keep from having to find a restroom or a tree and removing all the winter clothes just to pee. Thoughts? Papa

Wearing and using diapers for medical reasons is one thing, but wearing and using diapers for convenience is another.

When I became incontinent due to a spinal cord injury it took a little time to mentally adjust to wearing diapers. In hind sight, I'm sure a lot of that (acceptance) had to do with the stigma of wearing diapers. After all,..... I've been wearing big boy pants for several years and only babies wear diapers. It took time to accept the fact that it's "OK" to wear diapers for medical reasons and if you have a weak bladder that's also medical reason. However, when someone is wearing and using diapers solely for the purpose of convenience that's not a medical reason and that's a different issue.