www.incontinentsupport.org

I haven't posted here for ages, but I had a recent "look-around", mainly because I was looking for help/advice on so-called "Onesies". (Recently a very good friend, who knows about my inco, spotted my PP's as I bent-over to stroke a cat....I'm a cat-lover, and can't resist!).

I was interested in several recent posts, because they seem to reflect my thoughts and feelings. I was wondering whether I fit into the category of a "DL", because, I confess, that I have begun to "enjoy" wearing my nappies/diapers, in that I have, at nearly 60yo, found great comfort and security in doing so.

Many years ago, when I realised that I had little choice, I hated every second of my damp life. I experimented with "protection", I looked for help from urologists, had loads of tests, and half-hearted recommendations from these people, who were trying to do their very best for me, I know. They suggested surgery and/or tablets, etc..... They admitted that surgery might make matters worse, and were unable to meet my challenge of the side-effects and frequent inefficacy of tablets. One urologist said that in my case, tablets would be of no real benefit....he was honest.

I rejected them all. Just as I rejected the concept of catheterisation..... SC, or Foley, and I learned to live with my own choice of wearing protection.......it's simple, effective, and non-invasive.

Some years ago, I was unsure, when my (now deceased) Wife started buying colourful waterproofs for me from B4NS. I thought it was amusing, as did She. I have seen that on some of the threads here, that others enjoy variety of colour and other diversity, so I don't feel alone. Thank you. I chuckled at the strength of Sandy, when she confessed to enjoying plastic rhumbas, and then went-on to say that, maybe, she has become a DL. I like the attitude, which reflects my own...

The thing is, surely, that one must come to accept and enjoy, just because one has little choice? Yeah, I could moan and whine about having this thing, but Sandy is right... If one has to do it, then one might as well enjoy!

If we are given lemons....then we make lemonade........there is always something positive, it's just a case of knowing the positives, and rejecting the negatives.

Best wishes to all, especially those who are new to inco.

G.

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Too Wet to Woo?

Hi Owly
Your story sounds like most? Wouldn't it be nice to just skip all the Medical crap and just learn right away to except diapers I know I know that's not really something that can be done in reality. A person would need to be able to see the future while excepting the present and being able to ignore the what if's on the in between part (wow it's getting late )

As far as the DL thing goes I struggled for a long time with that one. Up until recent years I was dead against the whole AB/DL thing. But I've sorta figured out a few things about that perversion

One why are people so dead against it. When it comes to us these are the one group that is most likely to except us with our condition Granted I don't want to be played with so to speak by one of them on a board like this.

Two I've spent some time recently in fact talking to a few people that are into the AB/DL "Quote life style" I feel as tho I have a little more understanding about the perversion. I'd have to say I'm glad I don't have that perversion (or do I)

Three in some respects we kinda need to thank the AB/DL perversion. For the fact that because of the perversion we have things like adult plastic rumba pants (one of my favorites ) And other fun plastic pant designs. Who knows we may not have some of the choices in protection out there if it weren't for their influence

Four are you a Diaper lover or do you have leanings toward an Adult Baby Their are many fascists to this idea to consider. But being it's 1 o'clock in the morning I'm not really up to dealing with at the moment.

Five if I'm honest with myself I think I'm a bit of a DL I often find a sense of comfort and security in my protection. I think both Jane and my other young friend would agree with this as well. I don't want to get to graphic here. But Jane and I have both admitted to each other that there are times when our bladder lets go. It can have a comforting sort of feeling as you get a warming sensation down there I'd be curious to know if other women feel this type of effect. But then maybe some of you guys might agree Maybe because I'm a women my hardware is a little more sensitive to that?? I think I'm getting myself in deep here aren't I

I'll stop here I'd be interested in hearing what others have for thoughts on this subject/subjects

...............................Sandy

Hey Owley and Sandy,
I think if you've finally accepted the fact you have to wear a diaper to control your incontinence, you might as well don't worry about keeping an adult mind in your protection. I like the childness selection of plastic pants out here. My wife doesn't care for them, but I like to have some variety. Even the Tena brand has changed there pull-up design to have strips on them for men. The reason? To look more like underwear.

I don't love wearing diapers, but I love the security I feel knowing I'm protected. If I had to go out without a diaper on, I would feel so nervous since I've come to depend on my diaper for protection. In a way we have become attached to the feeling of our diaper. We all my be diaper lovers but not as a fetish.

I think all of us, in the back of our minds, know that back when we were all babies, wearing our diapers, we were comforted to know our mother or father was there to take care and protect us. That's a secure feeling and we all still want that in one way our another.

I guess you can put me down as a diaper lover, then. Sandy, you make a whole lot of sense in your post. .......Paul Martin

I can't speak for others but I do get a sense of security from being diapered. I would not be able to do many of the things I enjoy without wearing protection. I would end up a recluse. Do I enjoy having to wear a diaper? No I don't. I wish my bladder control would be like it was before the accident but I know this will never be. Like you and so many others I tried several methods of managing my incontinence with very limited success. Meds were not an option as my problem is due to nerve damage. I finally tried diapers. It took a while to figure out what diaper worked best for my needs but now I am confident that I can go pretty much anywhere and do most everything that I did before the accident. I just need to bring the necessary supplies with me if I'm out of the house for more than 4 hours. I've been diapered now going on a dozen years. It took me a while to get over the anger and the "diaper" stigma but once I did my life got much better. I would not begin to consider myself a DL. I do not love diapers but I do love the fact that I can live a more normal life by wearing them. I do get a sense of security from wearing a diaper. Just no warm, fuzzy feelings.

Wow Sandy... just wow. I never expected to read things like that coming from you.

Honestly I'm glad to hear you say it. AB/DL is certainly just a different persuasion, and most of them are real normal people on the outside. As with most communities, it is a small bunch of "bad apples" that sour the public opinion.

I have refrained from mentioning my own involvement in AB/DL on this site simply because (in my experience) many members of the incontinent community react quite negatively to AB/DLs and aren't willing to give them a chance to explain their viewpoints. I will take a chance here and say that I have been actively involved in the lifestyle for close to 10 years now... about as long as I have been IC. No, I'm not going to go into specifics because those kinds of things do not belong here.

On the subject of IC people using AB/DL as a coping mechanism... learning to enjoy and have fun with the diapers... I say it is all part of playing the hand you are dealt. Which goes back to the whole lemons/lemonade thing that was so well stated above.

As far as any of you labeling yourselves as DL, I pose this question: If you woke up tomorrow and all your bladder control problems were gone, would you still wear diapers? If you answer yes, even if it is just sometimes (nights, weekends, etc)... then you could consider yourself DL.

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~~PuddleGuy

DL or not DL? Are we all a little parinoid? If you wear the wrong diaper or plastic pants you are DL? Even here we talk about what type of diapers are best - the ones we like and the ones we do not like (by the way liking one type diaper over another makes you a Diaper Liker - not as bad as a Diaper Lover!
When I first had to wear "Protection" after cancer surgery (Disposable Protection - I had a hard time with the word Diaper) I felt babyish (actually felt stupid) but figured I could tough out anything for 3-6 months, possibly a year. But the cheap disposables were not doing the job at night (not much better in the day either) - in came the internet.
It was here, I believe, that diapers were openly discused, but Cloth Diapers? I saw Cloth Diapers as babyish - wearing disposable diapers was (in my mind at that time) more, Adult. But a few more wet bed nights and I ordered the cloth. The first night (okay many nights) that I pinned them on with the baby powder and plastic pants I was embarassed. I felt I had taken a step toward that ab world we all mock. It never occured to me than wetting a cloth diaper was actually no different than wetting a disposable one. Or that cloth backed or plastic backed or pin on or pull on, really didn't make it any less (or more) a Diaper! I felt I had turned toward the evil DL side because cloth diapers not only felt comfortable - BUT THEY WORKED better - and, and... I liked that. OH NO!
Sandy would probably have rhumbas even if she didn't wear diapers - my late wife wore them at times under a tennis dress. Colors? Prints? Onsies (call them coverups - (works better like - "adult absorbant underwear") (ps they work great - but it took a LONG time to even try one.) I could go on all day about this topic - and I am sure you are glad I am not going to do that. But let me end with this.
A good friend with spinal cord injury (10 yrs in wheel chair) first had a simple basic wheel chair. He felt like a gimp - an invalid - so he stayed in and only used the most basic chair. I finally dragged him out in the mornings to go for a walk - a push in his case. It got him to talk and open up and got him to go purchase a more stylish wheel chair. That led to a motorized one and that to a racing one and his first marithon. He also has one for basketball. His reaction to the new wheelchairs was usually "I love it." Aparently he is a WL (Wheelchair Lover). I hope you get the point. Papa

Well Papa... that is certainly an interesting line of thought and comparison. Though I'm not quite sure it applies here. Liking and enjoying the diapers that you have to wear does not make you DL.

Being DL is more about deriving physical or emotional pleasure from being diapered. It is a fetish and is purely centered around personal gratification. That "good" feeling that I believe Sandy was hitting on a bit with her post.

For the incontinent DL, the diaper is about a lot more than just keeping your pants dry.

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~~PuddleGuy

Puddleguy, help me and maybe others out here. We all have many emotions about being in diapers, explain it all as best you can. I am serious here, we may have the same feelings but can't understand them. Let us talk this through and not get hung up on labels. I know I would apprechiate a frank discussion. Thank you, Papa

Well, that's a tall request Papa... actually Wikipedia provides a decent snippet outlining the basics of being a DL separate from the whole AB aspect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaper_lover

If you have any specific questions I'll certainly do my best to answer them.

One thing to remember... most AB/DLs aren't sickos, perverts, or creeps. The majority of the community is made up of normal everyday folks just doing something that makes them happy.

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~~PuddleGuy

Great discussion here, Folks! Not a whole lot for me to add. There is a distinction between Diaper Lovers and Adult Babys as the link to Wikapedia points out, with as they say 4 in 10 DLs also being ABs.

I have been negative toward the AB/DL crowd as I have termed them in the past, and not at all for their persuasion....heck, it's none of my business what any consenting adults do! But I go way back to early forums on the new internet thing.....heck, I'm so old I go back to before the internet and forums......<grin>

I would use the new found power of the internet to seek help for my incontinence and dealing with the emotional and physical aspects of incontinence and diapers. Well, it seemed that every time a forum would start up with the objective of discussing incontinence and diapers, the ABs and the DLs would "take over", at first pretending to be legit and then openly come out and the forum would be lost as incons stayed away from the now AB/DL forum. That happened over and over again.

The same thing happens with bedwetting forums for youngsters. I don't think there is a legitimate one out there that has not been over run with the AB/DL crowd

It was more than a decade ago now, I believe, that we finally got a legit forum going and kept it that way with constant moderation. This site of Schoppy's evolved from that success of many years ago. Brew has another site on Yahoo for incontinent folks as well, which is kept legit thru the efforts of moderation.

So, my rant about AB/DLs is not about how they use or enjoy diapers, but only how they push their way into legit incon formums and ruin the forum for the rest of us.

Now, as for this thread about being both incon and a diaper lover...... well, I think PuddleGuy hit the nail on the head! If you suddenly were cured of your incontinence, would you still wear diapers? For the majority of us I'm sure the answer is "Heck, NO!" So then we are not DLs, as they enjoy wearing diapers for the feel, arousal, what ever.....with no physical need to wear a diaper for protection.

But, I also see nothing wrong with "enjoying" diapers that we are stuck with, anyway. And this repeats what has already been said about wearing bold colors, prints, maybe even juvenile prints, rhumba plastic pants and so on. I would not worry that such "enjoyment" constitutes DL behavior, or even if it does....so what? We are making the best of the hand we were dealt and I see nothing wrong with that.

Let me end by saying what I've said in the past. I don't love my diapers but I do love what my diapers do for me, giving me confidence and freedom to do anything I want, just like any continent person. Neither they nor I have to worry about wet pants or wet furniture as we go about our daily (and normal) lives!

JoeK