www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi

I don't consider myself to be in the fetish crowd, but I have a few concerns. As well as I am not 100% mentally fine due to stress levels as well as feeling very self conscious. I believe each to their own as long as no harm to anyone, not breaking any laws or doing anything inappropriate in public or involving unwilling peoples

1. Short Background history/reasons for me asking the questions I do, how I do it, and how often
I am unsure if I come across as being in that crowd or wanting the incontinence. I don't, but I have social and communication issues that are linked to my Autism type 2 (used to be Asperger under DSM 4), ADHD, Bipolar, Numerous Anxiety disorders and social isolation (no friends, as well as being restricted to my bedroom by an evil stepfather who was abusive (which all specialists believe damaged my spine with all the kicks in the lower back while Im rolled in a ball trying to protect myself (can't get specialists to put that into writing he caused it as no issue until I had chair snapped in 2009 so no spinal scans prior) in every way but thankfully not sexual) as well as moving all the time (5 primary schools (those outside Australia Kindergarten to year 6). I had no Sex Ed even in High School (getting some relationship counselling under disability funding for sex, social and relationship counselling, as I always got kicked out of classes due to behavioural issues (My parents kept Asperger's/Autism to themselves only found out when I got kicked out and disowned due to a psychotic break in 2002 at age 15/16 as no one at all picked up I also had Early onset /childhood bipolar (let's say ADHD prescribed Dex and Antidepressant is not a good combination) as well as abuse from mother after she left evil stepfather. To top it all off, he was never charged for anything, even through Child protection documentation and medical and school reports. Still, he is even now a solicitor/lawyer (even had local cops and family GP state I deserved all the abuse as I had ADHD when police came out.

Many apologies for the history lesson. I just felt I needed to explain myself, and it felt good to type it out as I am starting to let things go and get ahead in life (except for physical health disabilities this year).



2. AB

I don't get the enjoyment? of being an AB or DL. I only found out when I googled for support information regarding incontinence when I became incontinence (retention issues due to nerve issues in the l2,l3,4, L5-S1 area (I guess I wished I could restart life and be brought up in a loving family and stay in the exact location growing up but have all the same friends and positive people/relationships in my life, but that's about it. I lie. I also like snapped-sleeved onesies under clothes as they hold everything in place, keep me from exposing myself due to plumber's crack)as well as keep my spine warm and conceal my Diapers. Would it be wrong if I liked some cute designs? Not to show it off (OMG, never in public; I would die in shame), I only take my outer clothes off (that is over the onesie) when at home due to comfort when I have my support worker who also helps me with personal care and clothes as I am dependent due to my deteriorating spinal condition.

[i]3. DL[/i]

DL? I don't get how anyone would choose to become incontinent without medical reasons, the cost, the stigma, the social norm, all the prep and worry of leaks as well as the hassle of carrying supplies, etc. Only after years of self-research in medical journals, refusal of help by professionals and no treatments available to become fully continent I wish I had 0 control and that I would be made medically incontinent (even though I didn't know it was overflow incontinence as my bladder would get overfilled then leak due to the damaged l5-s1 nerve that affects the bladder nerve to empty god knows how many UTI I have had (only the last 2 years I have had a Urologist take my situation seriously that is very progressive as well as one of the top urology Professors at least in Australia take me on through his public health department) even he was highly impressed with all the research I had done even though my terminology I have been incorrect or expressed myself incorrectly we came to the same unfortunate solution foley for life due to no operation will fix the issue. (Yes, he was the one that has been told I have an open Foley leaking into my diaper as my Bladder cannot handle a closed valve for extended periods. Otherwise, it will spasm and push everything around/past and become highly uncomfortable) The catheter bag would always slip no matter what we come up with, as well as diapers (I have bleeding hameroids due to the same nerve injury, and my gastrologist refuses to remove them as I have an endoscopy and colonoscopy which even the hospital couldn't even have me fully prepared for as I went in the night before due to severe Constipation I wasn't fully cleared by the following afternoon after the prep drink and two fleet enemas on the day of the procedure).

Is it wrong that I like printed non-girly diapers over plain white? Also, I medically require Plastic back over Cloth back (Documented by the Urology Dept) and cloth-backed options here in Australia. Well best quality is Abena, and they were crap. I am until I learn how to tell wetness indicators to tell when the diaper is at capacity, as I am still learning. During my Indwelling Foley change today, I stated I don't have to change by the clock frequently but how the diaper's capacity is as well as comfort. I can only get a certain amount of Diapers per day funding. I am also very financially conscious (even though it is the government money/Taxpayers' money, I feel wrong and always try to get the best for the buck I can). As this is the environmental side, most if not all, fit this requirement (especially Plastic Backed are ABDL). There are 2, maybe three suppliers in Australia? No one sees them, and I don't show them off. I would be so embarrassed if someone saw me in public (it would offset my Agrophobia conditions again as it was when I had a foley bag holder strapped to my leg while wearing shorts as it was getting too hot here in Australia for pants an Elderly Lady jokingly stated she could see my underwear my Catheter bag as well as the connections and hoses occasionally leak or get tangled into furniture that was the last call so I call urology and asked about the open Cath (foley)into diaper which they had first to ask my urologist.

_________________
I am not an ABDL, I have medical Incontinence due to spinal damage.
I also have
Autism, ADHD, Bipolar, Physical Disabilities and Anxiety Disorder eg CPTSD, etc

There was a long thread about this on here many years ago (back when Sandy and some of the other early contributors were still contributing):

https://www.incontinentsupport.org/phpB ... ?f=7&t=553

As a fellow abuse survivor, you have my attention and respect. Sure, it still hurts, and I wish it had not happened. But I'm a survivor, and quietly proud of that accomplishment. Do I want to be incontinent? Yes indeed, but that does not make me AB/DL. I had to choose either dialysis or diapers; I chose diapers. Do I enjoy the attentions of my caregivers and family? No. But since my surgery, I have had no choice. I do what I'm told, and grit my teeth. Good luck dealing with your issues and keep your correspondence coming.