www.incontinentsupport.org

Amen to the above! It is high time we stand up as a commuinity to fight diaper stigma.. come out of the closet if we must.. and say, "Hey! Incontinence does not just affect the elderly! Diapers should not be stigmatized as only for babies!"

Reason i say this is i thought i was over any embarassement about wearing and using diapers..Not entirely.. i woke up this morning, and just a glance over a couple packages of product i have on my shelf..i was struck with a wave of embarassment and shame.. this isnt often that it happens.. but it does happen. And it sucks too. That i should feel ashamed that i can't make it to the toilet sometimes and need protection is sad. Because, i am very proficent as a student. Sure, with my PDD-NOS i have difficulties concentrating and getting work done, and have trouble organizing, but i am still a very succesful adult. And yet, when it comes to a basic task as toileting, i feel ashamed because my body has rendered my toileting skills feeble at best. To need a diaper change at 25 cuts at my self-esteem..and yet it shouldn't. I feel fortunate to be capable of meeting my own hygine needs when it comes to incontience. I pause to think about those my own age who need assistance with their care, and they are sharp minded as i am..what humiliation they must feel when they have to be changed by someone else. Mental attitude is key when it comes to coping with this..but self esteem of the incontinent would greatly be improved if we got rid of diaper stigma once and for all..

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

In a perfect world your right, but we don't live in a perfect world and I for one don't think any adult diaper stigma from the general public is going to go away anytime soon.

I may be wrong, but when it comes to the medical community, I don't think there is a stigma about adults that wear diapers for need. My experience with any medical person from doc's to physical therapists and everyone in between has always been met with the utmost of professionalism. I think the most important thing to keep in mind is how you feel about yourself and not how someone else may feel about you that doesn't know or understand that being incontinent is just another form of disability.

I guess it is a fungal type of Rash according to what Jane said so that would explain it?

As far as acceptance for the most part I think the medical community is fairly open to diapers But some how I think it's more acceptable for an older adult rather then a young one. I rarely ever see the inside of a doctors office. I did have a bad time when I was allot younger I think I spoke about that once before. And as I remember I've had a few times where I know the nurse looked at me how should I say? a little funny when I dropped my pants and she saw the Diaper. But nothing was ever said. I had one that I remember where the nurse begain to tell me to undress and remove your dia? o a? Undergarment as she was looking at my chart. I smiled and said Diaper undergarment it's all the same
...........................Sandy

Getting back to my friends I thought some of you would enjoy an up date.

Jane is doing very well with us. Her level and quality of work is incredible. She is an outstanding employee and also an outstanding friend. As my husband stated a while back I no longer think of her as a friend she is family! My husband says she is a more of a little sister to him then anything. To be honest I feel the same way about her. Jane is now officially separated from her husband and will be getting the divorce done sometime late this summer I think? She has very little contact with her husband. He has been driving over the road and is out weeks at a time. I can tell you that Janes kids are hurting because the miss thier father As much of a piece of trash he is/was to Jane. He is still a great father to his kids. I for one would never knock him there. Jane Has been staying with her mom and with us her mom has been watching the kids during the day.

My young friend is doing well Her dress making business is a little slow but she still has work. She did a wedding dress for a gal awhile back and her mother was so impressed with the work that she told her "bridge club" friends about her and they have been having stuff done by her. So that has been a nice nit ch for her. For those of you interested she is still a big time cloth wearer. She only uses disposables when her monthly friend comes to town She even goes out in public with cloth Hard to believe this is the same girl that wouldn't leave her house because of her condition isn't it. I'm so proud of her

...............................Sandy

I am glad to hear that your friend is adjusting to the lifestyle. It always seems that the first year is the hardest... wardrobe changes, first times dealing with it in public, the fear of being "seen", etc. It's like learning to socialize all over again. You find out pretty quickly what things you can and can't do.

Self esteem is definately #1 when it comes to handling this... and if you aren't brave and sure of yourself it can take a lot of work before you feel right doing the things you used to do.

Personally I can't imagine wearing cloth out in public every day. Maybe I'll work up the nerve to try it sometime... but I still prefer my trusty (though expensive) disposables. That may have to do more with the fact that I was raised in them so I'm far more comfortable dealing with them. I have been leaning more towards cloth at night though... simply b/c my fiancee can sew them pretty quickly. They certainly are far nicer where the budget is concerned.

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~~PuddleGuy

Cloth definitely does have advantages over disposables, that is for certian.. especially when it comes to expense. However, I like you puddle guy cannot see myself wearing cloth diapers to school. The bulk of the required absorbency would necessitate wearing overalls.. a move i'm not ready to make. I may try using abena x-plus, but really, the washing drying and pinning of cloth does not appeal to me, plus the complexity of pinning techniques etc. But, there is something to be said for cloth when it comes to absorbency and wicking. But, that may be a problem when it comes to skin.. not to mention the fact that toilet use for no 2.. (and sometimes for no 1, if i have enough warning) would be made harder or impossible.. and really, unless i lose bowel control also, I'd like to keep solid waste in the toilet if at all possible.

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

I believe we'd all prefer to keep #2 in the toilet whenever possible Geek. As far as the pinning goes... there are several companies that manufacture adult cloth diapers with velcro closures. Easy on, easy off, infinitely adjustable. I have a couple of them... maybe you should look at ordering some yourself.

I guess the one thing that keeps me out of cloth is the smell. I can't smell my disposable when I'm wet... but I can smell a wet cloth diaper. I know if I can smell it others can too.

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~~PuddleGuy

I suppose it's all a matter of choice. I hate wearing disposables, because I find them inefficient at the job for which they are supposed to do. I wear them only when I commute by 'plane, or on a long drive......and, even then, wear plastic pants over them. Terry nappies are far better, in my humble opinion.

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Too Wet to Woo?

As it turns out.. i have a friend who also has incontinence problems.. due to spina bifida. I've known he has spina bifida for a long time, but never knew the whole detail of his problems..or whether he would be willing to talk about them..but, when talking to his mom, the subject came up.. and as it turns out, hes an open book about that.. His mom expressed concern about him and not wearing enough protection.. sound familiar? I told her about the abena abri-wing..because it protects like a diaper..but its not diaper like.. since hes wheelchair bound, it may work better for him than it would for one of us who is mobile, and has concerns about leaking while standing up.. It felt good to finally pass on helpful info about this problem to someone i know in real life

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Had a bad time last night. Well Jane did anyway Her and I went late yesterday afternoon to pick some stuff up for the shop. It was about an hour and a 1/2 away. We were standing at the counter talking to a person about an order we were their to pick up when I feel Jane grab my arm and squeeze it hard I turn look at her just as an older woman behind her says that's GROSS! your sick Then of course that woman had got the attention of about 6 or 7 other people and they were all staring Jane had a major flood happen and it turned out the tapes on one side of the diaper were loose. She peed right down her leg OH BOY Well there was no glass of water that was going to get us out of this one She had a look of horror that still haunts me. she started to shake a little a tear came out and she bolted to the door and into the truck! That woman said something to the effect that Jane was messed up in the head. And there is no excuse for a person that age to do something like that. Some other guy made a comment about her being perverted and some people will do anything for attention Well at this point I was PISSED OFF yes that's right PISSED OFF! SANDY WAS BOILING I went at these people with both barrels. First I started out by saying she has a medical condition she can't help it!! I called the lady that started this a STUPID BITCH pardon my french. I went on to tell these people that she wears adult diapers and like a child's diaper the adult diaper doesn't always hold up! SHE CAN'T HELP IT!! SHE"S NOT A PERVERT YOU STUPID NARROW MINED GEEK DO YOU THINK SHE ENJOYS IT I said a few other things! And well by this point the Manager is trying to calm me down and telling these people to get away. I go out to the truck Jane is in the truck having a total melt down sobbing. The manager is trying to talk to Jane and telling her it's all right all Jane could say between sobs was I'm sorry and I can't help it. He tried to tell her his wife wears pads and that he understands. Well he wasn't getting anywhere. People are staring at us at the truck. The manager told me to pull around back by the loading dock and we could resume our transaction. When we got back to the shop the manager had been in contact with my husband. Jane and my husband went into the house. She seemed OK when she went home last night But I have noticed she seems quiet this morning. All she said is lets not talk about it So I've been laying low on the subject. I've never seen her melt down like that all I want to do is hug her I feel so bad for her..................Sandy