www.incontinentsupport.org

Hey there,

Usually I try to see things in perspective and stay positive, but there are some days.....I feel somewhat depressed. I have had an operation beginning of december to remove scar tissue that was pressing on my spine and causing pain. It's now 5 weeks ago and the pain is getting better (yeah!) but my bladder is totally out of control.

Right now it's trial and error all over with products. Before I could use a lighter pull up during the day, and that's a no-go for now. The Tena Flex super S I used at night and sometimes at daytime made my skin sore at the hipbones when I wore them a few successive days. The mediums are too big and caused leaks immediately. But the Tena tab style in S don't fit and the mediums are again too big. In between sizes And also upped the capacity to maximum for the nights, maybe that's why I feel swamped by the diaper.
I hate the diapers, especially the rise of the waist. It's so high compared to pull-ups, I used to fold the waistband over, that made them fairly invisible under a medium rise jeans, so I could go out and about in the weekends. I can't seem to find the right product that makes me feel comfortable and secure now.

The nurse gave me some other brands to try, and I hate them all. I'm not used to the tabs so I'm in the toilet for a long time trying to get them right, but mostly it just bugs me that my condition worsened. I hope there will be improvement, the docter said it could take a few months but recovery is not guaranteed.

I thought I was pretty much on terms with my situation but I wasn't prepared for this setback. Mornings are the worst. I seem to void the most between 2-4 hours after getting up. The busiest part of my workday! And this morning I was sleeping in and woke up on wet sheets. Next month we have planned a familytrip to Paris, and I really just want to be ably to enjoy and not worry about leaks or feeling uncomfortable.

If you have any advise on brands with a lower rise, or brands in which the medium falls small or the small falls big: that would be very welcome! And sorry for the venting...this is the only place I dare to do so.

Thanks for reading/listening,

Feel free to vent here any time. We all take turns supporting and grousing here. I have had my share of fitment issues too, so I can sympathize.

I will suggest that you try Seni Super Plus briefs, which do come in Small size. They are my goto diaper for daytime use. Very absorbent, but not super thick.

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- Tom

Don't be sorry about the venting! it is a healing process! everyone on this forum has good and bad days and we all need to be able to vent to someone who can understand! people here DO understand exactly what you are going thru! I really hope you can find a product that works for you and that you can trust it because that will be a liberating thing for you! but this takes time and some experiments with products because we each have different issues and body shapes. I know you are avoiding the tape / tab style products but they usually have better fit and absorbency than any pull up, I think if you are having fit issues with mediums maybe you should look to small or even "youth" sizes. Abena and many others have sizes to fit small and even smaller Youth if that is the issue. I fyou are really persuing the pull-up product I suggest trying Seni, Abena, or Tena brands over in Europe.

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I'm not familiar with the pull-ups you mentioned but have you tried the premium Abena Abri-Flex or the Molicare Mobile pull-ups? They have a lot more padding/capacity than any other pull-up I've seen and although they have a very high rise you can easily fold the tops over just as you mentioned. In addition you can add a pad to the pull-up that can quickly and easily be removed and replaced in a bathroom stall. You may want to add a firm control pant to keep the pull-up snug as that is almost always a problem with pull-ups, even the premium ones I mentioned above. I've used a combination like this with great success while traveling.

I agree with Padded53. Try a pull-up with a tena intimate overnight or less absorbent pad, depending on your need. And I agree with the support garment to help keep it snug.
As for overnight, premium tabbed diapers or cloth work well. A booster in a disposable works well if needed.
Hope that helps.

Instead of feeling depressed, you could see this as a time to experiment, to learn what works, both for your trip and afterwards. Your description of your situation reminds me of the weeks and months immediately following my sphincterotomy. Because that surgery ended serious pain, I didn't complain; however, the endless leakage did make life difficult. Although washables cannot be made to work when traveling, you might experiment with them after you get home. Good luck and keep us informed.

Sorry to hear about the rough time you're having, but I have a couple tips I can add.

If you need protection and a pullup doesn't cut it, briefs are the way to go, yes. However, there is the issue of waistbands being pretty high, as you mentioned. Consider looking into bodysuits. As a guy, these are MUCH more difficult to come by, but they seem to be cheap and widely available for women. These will prevent anyone from seeing a waistband, and it will obviate the need to do any rolling down of the diaper. Additionally, they will provide support for the diaper and prevent sagging.

Thanks for the advice everyone. After having a good cry and thinking it over it all didn't add up. My bladder capacity is not that high at all, before the operation the capacity was 100-150 ml and I could buy myself some time by clenching my pelvic floor. The leaks (when time runned out or if I was to late with clenching) were easily contained by an always discrete maximum (night) and one of those was enough for the day. That's what I meant by "lighter pull-up" it's not a brand, sorry for not being clear.

So OK the always discrete pull up won't work because I don't have the control I had before anymore but pull ups with boosters and everything should be way to much. The leaks occured because of ill fitting products and not because of heavy flooding.
As my husband said: being tall and slim with a booty is apparently a disadvantage when searching for incontinent products. So he said either I should gain weight to have a larger waist to match my hips, or we need to be inventive.

My husband found a "hack" for daytime for me: if I cut the lower part of the elastic side panels off of a Tena maxi pant S, about 1,5 inch, I have a bigger/higher leg opening and it doesn't hurt anywhere and still gives a snugg fit. The top part fits well, and I can still fold the waistband over. So there we are. A low rise, high-tigh-cut pull-up They should make them this way! We could call them "lighter pants"
I still need to change end of morning. Yes, that would be in the stall at work, and taking of my shoes and everything is not convenient (it even takes more time than my stumbling with the tabbed briefs) but I've done that a few times before in the past and I can discretely acces a disabled stall so I have room and privacy. I still hope this situation is a temporarily setback. The second adjusted pant one got me trough to what is usually the end of my workday.

Nighttime I haven't figured out yet. The pullups won't work for that. Last night I again experienced a small leak while the diaper wasn't all that wet, it was just gaping because the medium is too big (With size small I can't get the lower tapes to close properly). Too big or I'm doing it wrong, I'll keep trying to get the tabbed daipers fit the right way. The first few days in the hospital it seemed to work fine as far as I can remember. So if the nurses can do this and I can't it must be a case of practise makes perfect.

I'll try a few of your advices. Next to the case of Tena Maxi briefs I haven't gone trough all the samples yet, and will try the Seni Trio with a bodysuit (can't seem to find the mentioned Seni super here in The Netherlands, I guess this product is similar). Bodysuits are hard to find for me because of my length. Tall ranges don't have much choice and usually they're thong-style and so useless for this purpose (alltough it would be hillarious.....). But I do have a regular cut bodysuit that I think could work. So fingers crossed!


If it fails I'm considering duct tape

At least I feel better, thanks again, you guys are great!

yall going to think i am nuts or need put in the funny farm but this is what works for me (note i am not talking wearing a stupid amount hear abena x plus old school molicare super plus purple plastic backed or northshore supreme ) these are brands that i have used or use to this day but what i am saying is i dont mind a touch of bulk if it means i get an extra hour between changes or that trip to the store with aides without needing changed in town cause i have leaked being in a wheelchair sucks and with the shape my elbows are in makes it where aides have to help me change

just wanted to let you all know, you were right. The tab styled briefs fit better onces you get the hang of it,
Still no improvement of my situation, so chances are this will be it.

Recently I've tried the NorthShore suprime lights (the purple ones), I was sure I was going to feel ridiculous - I mean...purple/lilac underwear....let alone adult diapers- but actually, they felt good and looked way better than plain white alternatives. Too bad that they don't have a selling point in The Netherlands (Holland), because with the shipping fees these are soooooo expensive!

On the trip to Paris these were my lifesavers. I wore a skirt with metallic in it, which is a bit poofy. It helped with the bulk as well as with the noise. To be honest, I felt like "me" and didn't stress at all.