www.incontinentsupport.org

My admission of incon problems began almost 20 years ago. It began as occasional periods of extreme urge and my doctor blammed it on my prostate and would me antibiotics. Because of several embarrasing accidents, I began to wear diapers. After a month or so the urges lessoned and I would put the diapers away, but the problem always returned. After awhile, my wife said I was just being lazy.

I have given up on doctors and the various medications that have no real affect and am afraid of surgery. I have been wearing 24/7 for over a year because I am afraid of accidents when I don't, but also because I have grown to like wearing them, especially cloth diapers.

Now, especially when at work, I find myself less likely to leave a meeting or whatever I am doing to go to the bathroom every 30-60 minutes. Its just easier to just wet my diaper and change later when its more convenient.

I used to have sporadic control of my bladder the first couple of years after the accident and when I was able to get to a bathroom I used it rather than relying on my diaper. The past 8 or so years I have been forced to rely on my diaper as my situation deteriorated where I no longer have any control of my bladder. If there were a way that I did not have to always rely on protection I would. I don't like wetting in a diaper. I don't like wearing a diaper. I even tried to time myself to make bathroom visits as well as time and limit my liquid intake in an attempt to control when I released urine so that I could use the toilet.

Today and yesterday, again, were pretty dry days for me.. Yestederday, i had the somewhat usual morning deluge.. and then stayed dry all day on campus.. made it to the bathroom every time without getting wet.. YEAH!... and then had a wetting epside in the evening at home. Same scenario today.. pretty much dry all day..

But, despite these, i cannot stop wearing protection. Because, i still had wetting epsidodes today.. they were not as severe. but i still had them.

In a way, these dry days are almost detrimental. They're a tease... you start getting overconfident, thinking, hey maybe i can go without protection... and push the envelope..and end up with a huge flood unprotected. I never go without protection in public.. EVER..even if its a drier day than most.

I think certian things trigger it, perhaps certian things i drink, or certian postions? I cannot know for sure what will trigger an urge episode, thus i cannot afford to go unprotected. But, today and yesterday were my good days.. where i didnt have to change a wet diaper on campus..

This also proves that medication doesnt do much for me, because i have dry days when im not on the meds, and wet days when I'm on the meds.

anyway, though id share this.

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

First off... have you considered making an incontinence journal? Keep a log of everything you eat or drink and all of your activities... note every time you make it to the toilet and every time you have an accident or leakage. After a few weeks you may be able to discern a pattern and see if certain foods or activities are giving you issues.

Second... if you are having as many wet days with the drugs as you are without them I'd say it's probably time to get off of them. No need to have them in your system if they aren't doing any good.

Best of luck to you!

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~~PuddleGuy

I used to restrict my liquid consumption in an attempt to cut down on how often I wet. I would also go without any liquids after my evening meal in an attempt to make it through the night without wetting. It was insane to keep myself in a semi-dehydrated state when in the end I have no control over my bladder anyway. The only real reason I could come up with for cutting back on my liquid intake was that I was being lazy wanting to cut down on the number of times I changed myself during the course of a day. I no longer deprive myself of liquids like I used to although I am ever concious about how much I drink.

PuddleGuy, im not taking incontinence meds, I havent taken them for some time. My point was that medicaiton did not keep me dry. Keeping a journal is a good idea.. i will try to do that.

As far as certian foods, maybe.. maybe its medication, im taking i dont know.

But, while i think all this journaling would be interesting, it would not change the fact that i am incontienent some times despite all the efforts i put into being dry. I'm not saying being dry is'nt a worthy goal. But it may not be a realistic one. I don't know.

These dry days are'nt a frequent occurance; i enjoy them when they last.

I did have a deluge this morning.. but not a peep since.. i think its normal for some ppl with incontience to have cycles of symptoms. Am i right? Some days i have quite normal voiding patterns. Some days i have urgency-frequency, and go on the hour for a number of hours.

Diet is an interesting idea..mom said when i was a kid.. we went to soy products..soy milk soy ice cream etc..and that seemed to help. that might be worth trying.

If this interstim implant doesnt work, i don't know what else to do. It may help a lot. Or it may be like the meds; helpful, but not elimating the problem altogether.

What i want is to be able to be dry without thinking about being dry all the time.

As far as toilet use goes, thats neither here nor there.. depends on my mood.. right now im in a good mood, and am optimistic about managing it.. and im motivatied to try to stay dry. There is something to be said about wearing protection enabling one to become dependnet on diapers instead of attempting toileting..but, based on yesterday and the day before, i think my episodes are not made worse by wearing protection itself.. I do think my incontience runs in cycles.


I have tried to pin down what causes it, whether its waiting to long to go to the bathroom or what.. oddly, someitmes it stems from going to the bathroom too soon after the last time.

I don't think the episodes occur as a result of being lazy.. there is something going on that causes spasms if im in a certian postion...

Having a diagnosis of neuropathy and being told that yes, it is causing my incontience gave me a feeling of relief..it reassured me that it wasnt because i was lazy or wasnt trying hard to stay dry, there is something wrong with the things work in my body, and accidents are not my fault.

While there is validity to the idea of wearing protection making one more apt to use it, and thus become dependent..it isnt the case that wearing diapers need lead to diaper dependence. It is true however, that urge incontinence isnt static. So, it could be said that urge becoming worse is not due to "laziness" but to changes in the body beyond one's control.

All for now..

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Was reading the interesting posts on this subject mine started about 10yrs ago with little accidents but as time went on it got more serious always at night had some control in day but for example was comming home today trying to use control when the accident came so the diaper would be the best answer for me.When I get caught out with diaper don't worry about using it due to urge incontinence.

I also have urge incontinence due to never damage. I think anyone who has urge incontinence after a while does the same. You may start out living in the bathroom but after a while that gets old. In time, it really doesn't make much difference when you lose what little control you had.

Couldn't have said it any better!

I unfortunately agree. When I'm out at school or running errands, I'm just not going to make it in time... I don't bother trying anymore. And since I spend the majority of my life not at home, I just don't notice anymore when I am home.

The fact that I have a boyfriend and roommate who don't call me lazy really helps with any anxiety I have about being dependent on diapers out of necessity AND convenience.

At the end of the day, isn't it all about convenience anyway? The choice to either constantly worry or conveniently not worry at all?