www.incontinentsupport.org

We've come such a long way. When I had my 2nd and permanent bedwetting relapse in 1976 at age 25, there were no waterproof mattress covers or disposable absorbent underwear - and no Internet to use for buying them if they had existed. Had I thought about adult diapers (which I never did), I'm sure I would have simply assumed that they were only available for use in hospitals, nursing homes and by home caregivers. I did the best I could with sanitary napkins and a rubber sheet like I had in childhood. The bed got wet every time. Fortunately, at that time my episodes were isolated and intermittent, my volumes were light-to-moderate, and I had plenty of extra bedding and good laundry facilities.

The Depend brand of disposable absorbent underwear (the first such product) debuted in 1984. "Depends" were aggressively marketed to the 60+ crowd who'd had an active social life but had become homebound due to bladder incontinence. I was 33 years old in 1984, and I never for even a moment thought that the product could be of use to me.

It amazes me that both daytime and nighttime bladder accidents are so easily managed in current times.

W.

I supposed I'm lucky in that respect. Being born in 1981, I grew out of baby diapers just at the times that all the larger sizes were coming on the market. By the time I was big enough for adult diapers, there were several brands on drugstore shelves.

I am a few years older (1979) and I recall Attends, which was what my mom got for me in the mid 90’s. I think that there were also others like Depends but no “premium” brands that I recall. There again, we lived in a rural community in Texas. I used large Pampers and other baby diapers for a very long time as I was and am very petite, as well as pads and such, though they weren’t usually absorbent enough for my daytime leakage. Nighttime was almost always cloth. I had a plastic cover over my mattress, which I remember being ‘very’ uncomfortable in the summer (no AC in Texas).
My parents weren’t understanding, patient, comforting, ... about my day and nighttime wetting. They actually made it miserable for me for years. My father was a mean alcoholic and frightening me when he drank. I remember becoming a shy, withdrawn, nervous child, which likely also affected my wetting accidents. I remember my mom diapering me in cloth a lot on weekends and during summer vacations to save money and as a “punishment “ for wetting.... I was diapered in cloth for school several times until CPS was called by the school. There was a lot of fallout from that.... Shortly after that, my father left my mom, which was great in many ways but put my mom in a very bad financial situation and made disposable diapers a “luxury “.
Finally, in my mid teens, I was vindicated for my incontinence by a very thorough doctor.
Over the years, I have had a love/hate relationship with cloth. I have memories about punishments involving being diapered in cloth. I endured so much teasing and shunning as a child because of diapers. I didn’t have many childhood friends but those I did have remain very close friends today, 30+ years later.
I said love/hate.... I have found cloth to be generally more comfortable than disposable diapers and adequate for capacity, and certainly less costly, not that cost a a big issue for us. They do have their time and place though as the bulk can be an issue sometimes.

I have to say that I'm a bit confused by that. Why was CPS involved? Did you not need diapers during the day? I can't see why CPS would be involved for sending a child to school in diapers, that actually needed diapers. Was the cloth not agreed upon by the school? I could see how that would be something that I could wouldn't be able to manage themselves, and the school might not have been expecting.

Hi Ellyn,

it made me really sad to read this. It often bring that much misery to a child when parents struggling with there own problems and are not able to hold there children out of that. If I imagine that you had to cope with all of this as a child it’s really good to see that you made your way. I think experiences like that are really hard to work out and may will accompany for a live. A friend of mine come out of a family affected by violence and after two therapies she still have her problems. It is amassing how such experiences in the childhood and youth can haunt us all our live. I mean - each of us have there own history, but I have the deepest respect when I see people making it some how out of this.

MSUSpartan,
The school was indeed aware of my need of incontinence products. I used pads and large toddler diapers that were generally pretty inconspicuous and didn’t scream I’M WEARING A DIAPER!, though probably the whole school knew of my health issues. Of course I was subject to a lot of scrutiny for being different from most. The day CPS was called, my mom put me in a pretty bulky diaper (as an extreme and insane form of punishment) which drew immediate negative attention. I was sent to school without a change, which was in itself an issue. That tied with the severe withdrawal from physical and emotional shaming at home and school put it over the top.
I suppose that there are progressive public school systems that nurture children with special needs today and in the past, but that’s not true for all schools, and certainly not at my school in West Texas.
Up until my early teens, I was diagnosed as having an immature or weak bladder and that I’d grow out of my leakage issues and heavy wetting at night. I was also accused of being lazy or rebellious. In the mix was nervous issues from a difficult home environment.
I read many posts on various sites where they “claim” that schools are very accommodating to children with incontinence issues and the kids visit the nurses office to be changed and all... Well, I was never assisted by anyone other than in elementary school, where the teacher would sometimes help me get cleaned up.
I went through several counseling sessions as a result of CPS involvement, as well as my parents. A new diagnosis from my doctor (just a GP) had to be provided. There was discussion about sending me to a school for children with special needs....
In the end, I remained in the same public school, which was probably best, but there was continuous teasing. Things improved year by year, but it wasn’t until college, out of state!!, that I finally came out of my shell.

Hi Michael
Thank you
I think that I’ve made my way through the maze okay. , though the occasional haunting often leads to significant depression. Sometimes talking about it here helps though.
My mom doesn’t live far away and though I see her often, we don’t discuss that subject or difficult time in my childhood. Discussing it would only lead to arguments and a strained relationship. Though my father “abused” me physically, my mom shredded my self-esteem and caused a great deal of other emotional issues for me.
I fear that there are MANY other incontinent children that continue to suffer humiliation and abuse as I did, which makes be beyond sad for them.

I've been dealing with this for 4-5 years now and my way of dealing with it is to just wear a diaper and move on with life.

I'm so used to wearing diapers not that it's barely an afterthought. I wear BetterDry and usually a booster at night. I almost never leak but wet the bed pretty much every single night. I slightly reduce fluids a few hours before bed and have no problem with leaks. If I do drink A LOT of water before bed I have increased chances of a leak as I'll void more. I don't mind slightly moderating my fluid intake, but I'm not about to go to bed dying of thirst either.

Much hared to "deal with" is wearing diapers during the day. Been doing it a few years now and while I'm very used to it, i'd very much prefer finding a cure....if it were just the bedwetting I'd not even care for a cure as diapers manage it just fine and it's very private.

I've had every test imaginable and been on more pills than I care to remember. I'm 100% done even trying. I'll probably just be in diapers forever and I've made peace with it.

I just use cloth diapers and plastic pants. Works well for me, just a few occasíonal leaks. I get my supplies from fetware.com.

I too wear cloth diapers and rubber pants,this keeps my bed dry.