Incontinence and intimacy

[Ellyn]

Sorry. Got distracted.
I also found GREAT pins, much stronger than most and with a safety head so you don’t get poked at night. Rearz
I don’t use pocket type diapers because I don’t care for them, but everyone here should try them and decide if they’re for you. I also use plastic back and cloth-like back quality diapers, pull-ups, and pads. You will find that there’s not usually one solution, but -many- based on the occasion and personal needs. Try them all and experiment. You will also find the ones that make you feel better about your appearance. Don’t forget to try pads or boosters in pull-ups and thinner diapers for a more slender look with “enough combined protection”.
Never ever use double disposable diapers as the waterproof back on the first isolates the second. Don’t slit the first like some might suggest. I doesn’t work and only wastes a diaper.
If I know I’ll be particularly busy with my husband, I’ll take the meds that I HATE, to lessen leaks. Again, experiment.
I pause to suggest this but sometimes my husband likes to see me in a diaper. It’s all about your relationship and the mood. Instead of hiding from your partner, try other approaches. Trust me, you might be very surprised.
Finally, don’t use your disposable as a replacement for feminine hygiene. It’s a great backup though.

[Don]

Hi Ellyn. I toss my prefolds in the dryer. They’re just a big cotton towel after all. I hang my plastic pants on a curtain rod in my garage. I have an acre of land as well and nobody can see in my backyard if need be. If I didn’t have these options, I would have to adapt. As far as soil stains, I use hot water, deep fill, and two rinse cycles with good detergent and 90% of it comes out. My diapers stay pretty white and clean looking. I also highly recommend a “diaper sprayer” to get the soils off the diapers (if you’re bowel incontinent). Solids can’t go in the washing machine and I spray it in the toilet before putting it in the machine. It’s a dirty but necessary job if you want to save your washer. I looked on Pinterest and found plans to make a splash shield to keep from making a mess in my bathroom. Cloth diapering parents can be pretty crafty.

[Ellyn]

Hi Don!
I’ve had a few incidents recently with what might be IBS.... Anyway, I cleaned in toilet, sprayed with a hose outside, washed, rewashed with a regular stain remover. All white again. I guess that if these issues persist, I’ll get liners that I can remove, clean off, and wash out much easier.

[Don]

That’s a bonus I get from using flat diapers as inserts. The soils primarily get on the flat. I just spray it off and wash them in the machine. No sweat.

[Ellyn]

One more thought for women (or men I guess) that want a more slender look, which I I desire with fitted slacks, leggings, snug shorts, form fitting dresses and such. I know I’ve brought this up before but this is the Incontinence and Intimacy section...
For those times when bulk is an issue and where building confidence is so very important, try a quality pull-up and a booster. Very little bulk where it’s important, but highly absorbent! I use a Tena, Women, For Heavy Protection and a Tena Intimates, Ultimate. Together, they absorb a LOT of moisture and never bunch up!! What moisture might get past the pad will most likely get caught in the pull-up. I’d skip waterproof pants as they tend to add bulk too and are likely unnecessary.
The combination is a little costly though, close to the cost of a premium diaper.
I’ve tried booster pads specifically like Abena Let - maxi and others, and they work fine, but for a woman, a pad like the Tena Intimate is probably the better choice.

[Padded53]

Adding to what Ellyn just said, for guys try a Male Guard (pad) inside of a pull-up. They hold a surprising amount and when soaked you can just pull them out and either add a new Guard or just use the pull-up. I've used this combination many many times and it's worked well for me.

[batman381327]

Padded, I had a health store worker suggest the same thing, but I didn't like the bulk of it in addition to my Abena xl2. So I was looking at options and decided try ultra thin poise pads. I just have to fold the sides in so it will divert over the leak guards of the pad.

[HumanFly]

Finally, don’t use your disposable as a replacement for feminine hygiene. It’s a great backup though.

What do you do about FH though? Add more protection and/or change it more frequently? Surely a sanitary pad inside a diaper will just get flooded and not every woman can or will use a tampon.

[Ellyn]

Personally, I find a tampon works for me, though for those that can’t use them, maybe the cup.
My point was that for heavy flow, using just a diaper gets pretty gross pretty quickly with heavy flow. A very absorbent pad in a sanitary panty, changing it often, may work or a pad in a panty, in a disposable diaper for heavy urinary leakage may work for some... Just some thoughts.

[MSUSpartan]

You may read some crazy things where people put Dawn dish soap in their washer with their diapers. This is horrible for your washer. It will destroy it. The dish soap washes the natural lubricants off your washer and will cause “suds-lock”.

I'm one of those. My cloth diapers definitely built up residue over time, and had to be striped periodically. I used Dawn and white vinegar. It didn't ruin my washer. We did just recently replace it, but that's after over 15 years in service, and it wasn't broken. We just had a opportunity to get a new HE washer for a very cheap price.