www.incontinentsupport.org

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and helpful tips. Especially you, Rob!!

I had to go to an event today and the whole time I was worried that my pad was too bunched up to protect me. It was hot out and I had an ice cold beer with everyone else trying to have a good time but I was absolutely consumed with the prospect of an accident happening. Afterward I realized I need to have peace of mind to enjoy my life. And that means purchasing reliable protection. So I took the big step and bought Always Discreet Boutique underwear and I'm wearing them right now under tight shorts and you would never know!! I'm over pads I think. My husband hasn't found out yet...I know he will not be all too pleased. This is new to us and he thinks it's all in my head. I hope he will accept me this way

Have him go with you to your next urologist appt and have the doctor explain that this is NOT all in your head. Spousal support is vital.

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Socio, I highly doubt that he would attend a doctor's appointment with me. Thank you for the feedback though. This is going to be a tough road for me. I need all the support I can get from this forum.

The Always Discreet underwear were not foolproof I'm afraid. I'm going through a lot of anxiety still trying to find the right product. Might as well go back to pads for now and change them often. I really can't get over the stigma of diapers and the bulk. All of my clothes are form-fitting and they would not fit over diapers. It's really hard to go through this as a female. Guys can wear baggy clothes and people don't think twice about it; it looks relatively fashionable. Thank you for the recommendation, NorthShoreAdam. I'm going to receive the DynaDry pad samples tomorrow. I will post once I know how they work. I really hope they do the job!!!

https://www.aliexpress.com/item/Reusabl ... autifyAB=0
icgirl, another alternative to consider is this device. I ordered the male version and it seems to work very well for me as long as I am in a sitting in a chair positon or standing. It has leaked if i am sitting on the floor. It has been a game changer.. it kept me dry this morning while teaching in front of my computer despite having 2 wettings without having to resort to diapers and sitting in my urine until class was over. You have nothing to lose by trying it, it only costs 6 dollars and shipping is free. I did notice wetness on my underwear that i wore with it a few minutes ago but i really dont know how that happened as I did not wet wearing that underwear/urinal combo. perhaps the valve was not closed? Anyway, overall it has performed really well provided i periodically check to make sure my penis is still in the urinal and the urinal stays vertical. If you are looking for something to keep you dry and you can stay sitting in a chair or standing and its just around the house (there isn'nt a way to secure the bag to your leg.. I might have to buy a leg bag), it could go a long way to keeping you dry. After all it costs the same as 1 package of pads i bet.

Peace out!

Rob

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Why wouldn't he? And why wouldn't he accept you wearing protection? would he rather you pee on him? Ask him!! Tell him flat out, "Either I wear protection or you get peed on."

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

I have not been much active for the last month's, but I have been reading almost everything here.
I understand the struggle of adapting and accepting the need of protection/ diapers.
When I had to start wearing, the first advice I got was pads and mesh pants.
I became the queen of leaks... During a hospital stay, I got help to choose tape on diapers.
Later I also got myself plastic pants. No more leaks.
I had to change my style of clothing to a certain degree. I ended up improving my style. Tunics with belts, dresses, skirts. Even black jeans would work. I discovered that the trick is to enhance the waist rather than the bottom. Also try to shift focus to the upper part of the body. You will actually have good help of a decent bra.
There are several threads here about what to wear or not to.
If you can find a good pullup you will be a lot better off than with pads. Maybe your bottom is a little less sexy, but wet spots are a complete turnoff.
As I changed my style, I got positive response from men, and they had no idea of what was under my skirt. The diapers just gave me a fuller bottom.
I hope this would be a little helpful.

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I want to join the bowel movement....

LOL Rob "I Wear protection or get peed on!" That actually made me smile. I might say that to him! I don't know about that device. I'm fine with pads around the house for my light leakage and running to the loo often. And he's okay with pads atm.

Optimist, thank you so much for your post! It's nice to hear from another woman. I was wondering where all the women were? I might end up being nominated as the next Queen of Leaks eventually. I'm not ready to give up pads yet. Your input is so appreciated though. I'm happy to wear tunics! So if my condition progresses further and I do need diapers, I know what I will be wearing at least. I'll probably wind up single but I will still be dressing cute. What is your story btw?

My story is about growing up in a dysfunctional family, and sexual abuse.
I kept control by pure willpower inntil 1993. I have had a severe dissociative personality disorder, and at the age of 26 mye mental health took a turn for the worse.
I am now starting to train myself out of the diapers, as 20 years of intensive therapy starts to pay of.
I have had to reclaim both my body and my personal integrity, as I grew up with quite a bit of mind control from my family. The struggle has formed me to a strong, but quite sencitive person. I am now 50, and life is getting better.

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I want to join the bowel movement....

I forgot to mention that it will be wise to have a pul pant as extra protection for especially risky situations, like long bus rides, or if you are sleeping in another bed than your own.

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I want to join the bowel movement....

Thank you, Optimist. I will look into PUL pants. There is a huge learning curve with all of this. Thank you also for sharing your story. If you want to talk more, you can PM me. I would love to make some new friends on this site who can walk me through the transition. You seem like a strong person for what you have survived. I wish you much success on getting dry. I'm going to go for my first biofeedback/pelvic floor exercise therapy next week. I hope it helps me as it did SociologyGeek. If you message me, I will respond next week as I'm going out of town for a few days. Take care!