www.incontinentsupport.org

I'm also extremely lucky to have a supportive spouse. When I first started having issues, I kept it to myself until they got to the point that I couldn't hide it. She urged me to see a urologist, and was certain I had prostate cancer or bladder cancer. When the tests came back negative, she was so relieved, that the incontinence has not been an issue.

For a long time, I kept my diapers in my shop, only bringing a few in at a time (easier to hide), even though she obviously knew I had to wear at night. When the daytime issues became worse, we talked about it, and both agreed that it was time to go 24/7. That first day, I snuck out to the building to change and she walked in on me, mid- taping! She told me I was being silly and didn't need to hide from her. I haven't worried about it since. While she is sad that I have to go through this, she is also relieved that I don't have the anxiety of worrying about leaks and accidents in public. I am frequently in front of people, either speaking or teaching, so the thought of a guge wet spot appearing was mortifying! While I've only been 24/7 for a little over a week at this point, I already know it was the best decision for me, and I wish I had done it weeks ago. We joke about it, which helps, and are on the same page. It struck me a couple days ago that wearing one of my kilts might pose a problem - just a few hours later, she brought up the kilt question, so it does appear that we are on the same wavelength.

As I'm staring down the big 5-Oh, I just haven't had a lot of anxiety about wearing diapers, or who knows/finds out for that matter. When my wife said, "Don't worry about what other people think, it only matters what I think," I knew it was all good. Like she said, women have been dealing with leakage problems for years, so it's nothing new - it just happens that mine is a lot worse than hers!

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

It’s nice to read about the experience of another teacher. I can definitely relate that the thought of a huge wet spot appearing in the middle of a lecture would be horrendous and mortifying. I am still getting used to the anxiety that comes along with wearing diapers around others, but if the alternative is the above scenario then I’ll stick with it. Luckily my wife has been very supportive as well. I’m not sure if we are at the level that you are with your Wife but that’s probably more on me than her. I still feel ashamed to be dealing with this stuff at 28 years old. Anyways, just wanted to say that hello to a fellow teacher! I hope everything keeps going well for you!

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"It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
- Rose Kennedy

I’m a retired university professor. Fear of having a visible accident in front of students was one of the most important reasons why I decided to start wearing daytime diapers.

Although I have some Scottish ancestry, I’ve never worn a kilt. I’m curious about what you’re going to decide to to. Although I really don’t know what I’m talking about, I would think that a kilt would be less likely to reveal a diaper bulge than, say, jeans, sweatpants, or even dress pants. In case anyone might look up you kilt and see your underwear, I would suggest wearing black underpants over your diaper.

Greetings Dallas and Incon,

While I don't do it full-time, I teach through the local career center have been a contract instructor at a nearby university. I am a Firefighter/Paramedic, but originally went to school to teach English at the college level (until the adrenaline rush put me on a different course).

Dallas, I'm glad your wife is supportive. We are both fortunate in that respect. Even so, I am still getting used to the idea of her seeing me in a diaper, though it is easier each time. In our situation, joking about it helps. As for the anxiety of wearing, all I can say is that in my experience so far, no one can tell. The first time I wore all day, she had no idea until I told her. When I said I had to go change, she though I had gotten my underwear wet! I confided in a friend at the FD, and they had no idea I'd been wearing to work - and as you can imagine, we work very closely in certain situations.

Incon, I normally don't wear anything under my kilt - I'm a purist in that regard. I guess my plan going forward will be situational. If I think someone is gonna be "funny" and flip my kilt up to "see what I have on," I will probably wear shorts over my diaper. Otherwise, I'll go with the diaper and be as close to au natural as possible (they'll be REALLY surprised if they flip my kilt up then!) . I have Scottish & Irish heritage, so between that and the FD, I love wearing a kilt.

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"When you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

Not too much actually. I work very hard to keep the impact of my incontinence down to an absolute minimum even though my Wife is very supportive and understanding. That said, she will discuss incontinence "issues" with me but I can tell she's not really comfortable doing so and I don't try to engage her on these topics unless it's really important. Surprisingly the biggest impact has been the storage of my diapers. I have quite a few cases of several kinds of diapers and finding an appropriate place to store them has been a challenge from time to time.

Like you guys, I am fortunate to have a supportive wife, but I try to minimize the impact of my incontinence. I have reached a point of acceptance where I now store my diapers openly on shelves in an upstairs bathroom I use for changing and my enemas. However, downstairs there is no indication of my incontinence.

My wife is a retired RN, but she is my wife and not my nurse. By that I mean that I involve her in my incontinence only when I cannot handle the situation. One example is after rotator cuff surgery when she had to help diaper me.

Travel has been affected by my incontinence to the extent that it affects most of us. I have to plan stops and carry a sizable load of diapers, etc. for any lengthy trip. I do tend to avoid water activities, except for brief periods. That is due primarily to my bowel incontinence rather than my bladder incontinence.

We will discuss my incontinence when there is something that I need her to know but that is not frequent.

Re teaching, I am not a professional teacher but do teach English as a Second Language to Spanish-speakers in a nearby rural area. Between driving time and class time I always am pushing the limits of a premium diaper with booster pad. I always am concerned that I could begin leaking while I am writing something on the white board toward the end of a class. Even worse would be a bowel accident but my preemptive enemas take care of that pretty well.

--John

It sounds like you have a great relationship with your wife regarding your incontinence. It was really hard for me to be open about my incontinence with my wife, especially at first, but she loves me no matter what and she just wants to be supportive. Like you John, I tend to only discuss things with her if it is something pertinent or if I need her to know something. Other than that, I try to handle everything else myself. As for the teaching thing, that is one of my biggest fears is a visible accident in class. If it were to happen whilst I was teaching then I honestly don't know what I'd do. I mean, I know the earth wouldn't stop turning or anything but I may actually die of embarrassment lol However, I hope that with a proper diaper and taking care of things with my bowel health that it never becomes an issue. Incontinence is the ultimate wild-card, every day is an adventure

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"It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
- Rose Kennedy

I can not answer this as it brings up to many other things not related to incontinence. I will say I have been married 39 years plus engaged 2 years before that. I put my wife through hell, and she has always been there right by my side. No matter what comes are way, incontinence is nothing to the unconditional love my wife gives me—no matter what. I am a very lucky man in that regards.

Bill

Billsd, you indeed are lucky to have your wife's love and support. Don't forget to let her know how much you appreciate her.

--John

I'm lucky in the fact that my fiance has been totally supportive and has actually been active in getting me used to wearing nappies and building my confidence. She has actually changed me on numerous occasions when I've been ill or when I've come home from a night out with the lads down the pub, drunk as a skunk. . . Lol.

She isn't phased by my incontinence at all. I'm a really heavy sleeper and quite often if she is working a late and I'm on an early, I'll be in bed before she comes home. She says she checks my nappy when ever she gets into bed and has on a couple of occasions woke me up to tell me I need to change. She will always tell me if I start to smell or if my nappy bulge is becoming obvious. she always has my back when we are out with friends or family who don't know about my incontinence too. She will help with creating a distraction so I can slip off get a change.

Sex life, well, it's never been a problem. I'm with sandy on this. My partner has never made any comments about a little smell or wetness. To be totally honest, she will often open my nappy and get some wet wipes and she will use the cleaning process as a kinda foreplay. We have our bed well protected so at worst case scenario, if I do wet during intercourse the bottom sheets may need changing. It's really not that much of an issue for us.